Week 25 Pool Fixture 2020: Pools Fixtures – UK 2020/2021

The morning of May 23rd, 1980 started like any other for 36-year-old Christina Frazier. Shortly before 7 a.m., she said goodbye to her husband, Charles, who was heading to his job at the State Highway Department. Charles and Christina had only been married for about three weeks and the Anderson, Indiana couple were just getting settled into their new life together.
Around 4:30 p.m., Charles returned home after work to discover the back door of the couples apartment, had been kicked open. As he entered the small upstairs apartment, Charles noticed large amounts of blood splattered on the walls and floors leading into the bedroom. There, he found Christina lying on the floor in a pool of blood.
It was determined that Christina’s murder had been a case of “overkill.”
Christina was stabbed multiple times. An autopsy revealed she had been stabbed more than six times in the neck, and had numerous slice wounds across her back, hands, and arms.
She was found dressed in her bathrobe. Christina’s killer had tried to gag and strangle her multiple times using the robes belt, however when this failed and Christina fought back, her killer attempted to use a T-shirt, then an electrical cord, both of which were found tied around Christina’s neck as well.
As Christina continued to fight for her life, it is believed she attempted to take cover in her bathroom. There, her killer attacked her once again, beating Christina in the head and face. The fatal blow came when Christina’s killer slammed her head against one of the bathroom fixtures, either the toilet or the bathtub, shattering her skull. It was also determined that Christina had been sexually assaulted.
Due to the lack of contents in her stomach, and the fact that she was still dressed in her bathrobe, it is estimated that Christina was killed shortly after Charles had left for work, around 7 a.m..
An investigation of the apartment, located at 923 1/2 Nichol Avenue, revealed that aside from kicking in the front door, Christina’s killer had also cut her phone’s cord. The apartment was in disarray from the struggle that had occurred, however nothing was missing, including cash in Christina’s purse.
Charles was immediately ruled out as suspect after police confirmed that he had been at work from 7 am to 4 pm that day, and had not left.
When questioned, the downstairs neighbors told investigators that they had heard loud noises coming from the apartment above, however they did not investigate the noises further. After canvassing the neighborhood and coming up empty handed, police turned to Christina’s fellow employees at the local tavern where she worked nights as a waitress. Unfortunately, they turned up no new leads there either.
Death Certificate/Clippings
Find A Grave: Christina Frazier
I wanted to include, that although it is never mentioned in the newspaper articles, this murder has quite a few similarities to the case I posted yesterday about Janet Shirar, the teacher who was savagely murdered in nearby Kokomo, Indiana.
Both murders happened on Memorial Day weekend, within 24 hours one another. Both murders were considered “overkill” by investigators. Both victims were stabbed. Robbery doesn’t appear to have been a motive in either case. Kokomo is pretty close to Anderson, a little over an hour away.
I’m not saying the two are related, just wanted to point out the similarities between them.

Before anyone comes in and overreacts about specific players, this is just a thread devoted to judging our teams potential for the upcoming split. Criticism is warranted as with any competitive fixture.
TOP: Fudge. As someone who came in and talked a lot, and I mean A LOT of smack. This was bound to backfire if he didn't 1v9 every game. Though his overall tournament performance was well below expectations. He still showed potential throughout some games including against Alphari in the last series. He is not the best top laner, he is not a top 3, top laner. But he hasn't been the worst IMO. If you dissect his performances, he was usually weakside and put in positions to be more utilitarian. When he was given the spotlight to succeed like in his Cam games vs TSM or game 4 vs TL he can really take over and show why he deserves a spot on C9. That said, it can backfire and in the case of game 5, did.
Further assessment: His hot/cold performances are no guarantee going into the regular season and he definitely needs to improve his early game laneing phase or else be put on tank duty. He is the youngest player in the LCS and has shown very good mechanical and late game team fighting ability and IMO has a lot of room, and time to grow. Don't write him off, the dude needs all the confidence he can get to fulfil his potential.
​
Jungle: Blaber is a maniac. IMO he put all doubters aside with deep champion pool and his superior routing ability against other top junglers like Santorin and Closer and was a big reason we stayed competitive in our losses. The man is coming into this season not just to play, but to win. I would not be surprised if he makes an MVP run this Spring.
Mid: Perkz. The man is joining C9 after playing bot for the greatest western team G2 for the last year and a half. To expect him to come straight in and dominate with only mere weeks worth of practice in a role that he hasn't played in nearly a year was hopeful at best. But throughout this tournament his worth was still felt even though he was taking a more supportive role. His mechanics IMO look better than any mid in the tournament and he definitely got more comfortable as the preseason went on. The man is on pace to put C9 on top when his full potential is realized.
Bot: Zven and Vulcan are amazing. Up to the finals they looked as though they where back in Spring of 2020. Zven IMO displayed himself as the best ADC while Vulcan is a razors edge close to CoreJJ for the top spot in the support position. This is definitely a major area of strength along with Jungle and should be are win conditions early on in the regular season.
The team as a whole: Optimistic. As odd as it may sound right now, if Fudge can iron out his early game detriments and continue his mid-late game abilities, he can easily become one of the best players on C9 considering he is only 18. Perkz IMO already sits at the best midlaner in NA with his performances against Jensen being far more impressive and 'felt' in the series. The man is at the top of the mountain, but baby he is only halfway there! Our Jungle and Bot positions are 1, 2 at worst and 1, 1 at best. 0 concerns.
Last words, it is fair to say C9 is the second best team right now coming out of the lock-in tournemnt with A LOT to work on. But the gap between us and TL was proven to be miniscule and feels a lot closer than what people are making it out to be.
Lets hold off on writing this team off from a preseason tournament. The competition in NA is at its greatest and we should be thankful to see it. Lets cheer on C9 in 2021 and give our boys the best chance at winning by supporting them as BEST WE CAN!

##Wiki/Chapter list = First Chapter = Previous = Next
 
Xant found himself holding on for dear life, his body crammed into a vehicle it clearly wasn’t designed for. His tail was squished between the tall seat and the frame of the machine, his legs too far apart for them to sit comfortably in the narrow footwell, so he was almost sideways in the forward-facing seat, but that also gave him a clear view of its pilot’s insane method of ‘driving’ the shaking contraption.
Jasmine didn’t even need to look where her feet and hands were going, moving them simultaneously to shift in and out of gear by instinct, all the while singing harsh, deep-throated songs at the top of her lungs.
Xant had been observing the human since her revival, and while she had had her ‘aggressive’ outbursts, brought on through stress and despair respectively, to see her exercise such aggression was fascinating. She was entranced, focused on some unknown ‘enemy’ and screaming her pent up emotions at ‘it’. Xant had never seen such emotional power simply blasted into the atmosphere without worry or consequence, but he couldn’t deny he was caught up in the triumph and relief the song gave her.
With practised ease, Jasmine stopped the car at the base of the enormous craft, then gleefully jumped out to climb atop the roof again. “Up here, Xant!” she called.
The doctor squirmed his way out of the car and stood on the ground, looking up at the human. She pointed to a small thin ladder welded to the side of the ship’s stern. “We need to climb that to get on board.”
Xant stared at her and then at the wide jump needed to cover that distance.
“Is this another attempt at humour?” The human did laugh, so he supposed he was right.
“Well, we could always wait for Rynard to throw you!” She smiled, making a hand motion of hefting a ball. “Like tossing a dwarf!” She giggled.
Xant for the first time questioned Jasmine’s intelligence.
“Perhaps we left you in stasis too long…”
He quickly examined the gap. It was going to be an extraordinary effort for him to climb atop the vehicle, let alone cross the divide with his physical ability alone. He tried to mimic Jasmine’s method of climbing on the car, but his hands and feet were not able to find the small gaps her narrower ones could find. In the end she had to pull him up, and felt the roof bow with his weight. From up top the distance to the ladder seemed even greater. “How exactly do you propose we climb the ladder from here?” he asked her, but Jasmine was still riding the exhilarating high of being ‘thunderstruck’.
“Like this!”
Without so much as a run-up Jasmine leapt towards the ladder and landed with precision, her elongated limbs showing an agility Xant had not considered during the physical examination. “Let me reframe the question,” he huffed. “How exactly do you expect me to climb the ladder from here?!” “Oh it’s not that far, it’s barely a jump!”
“Zenthi don’t ‘jump’.” “That offer for Rynard to throw you is still on the table.” Xant scoffed, took a deep breath and rationalised the situation.
He was in a military-grade suit, so while his weight and aerodynamics would be affected, his strength was increased and any fall damage negated through the armour and pain blocker chems. So, even if he fell, the only thing that would suffer would be his pride. Another uncomfortable thought peeked through the rationale.
He said he wanted to follow Jasmine. This would mean having to keep up with her. He couldn’t do that if he forever deliberated his shortcomings.
Xant inched closer to the edge of the car and Jasmine helpfully reached out to him, hanging precariously from the metal bars. “I’ll catch you!” She encouraged him. Her arms closing the distance boosted his confidence considerably, and he swayed his body back and forth, ready to leap. This would count as the most adventurous he had been in the steel suit, forever wary of Rynard’s warning of torn ligaments. Xant closed his eyes and pushed himself forward, the suit multiplying the force needed to get him across and almost smashing into the side of the yacht. Thankfully, Jasmine was able to correct her friend’s trajectory and guided his hands to the ladder’s sides, which he clung to for dear life. Jasmine gave a loud cheer. “You did it! Way to go, Xant!” And she patted his shoulder. “Now we just have to get to the top! Did you want to go first?”
Once again, he looked at the human as though she were lacking in common sense.
“How do I ‘go first’? You’re clearly ahead of me!” Jasmine could only smile as she maneuvered so only one hand and arm were on the ladder, her body swaying in the open air, unafraid of the drop below. “There you go! Now you’re clear. I’ll make sure you don’t fall!”
Xant shuddered, flattened his ears and forced himself to climb up the ladder. He could almost feel the thin aluminum bars being crushed under the strength of the suit, but one step at a time he climbed higher. The top was open, no hatch or easy step, so he had to scramble his way over and landed with a thud. By comparison, he heard Jasmine’s light footsteps make quick work of the ladder, and she was soon helping him up to his feet. “Careful,” she teased “you’ll scuff the deck!” “Scuff the what?...” “Take off your helmet, you’ll see things clearer!”
Warily, Xant let the locks of his helmet click and examined his surroundings. It was an ‘open air room’, the floor layered like in his office, multiple steps divided for different purposes, with a deep pit made of what looked like blue plastic as the focal point of the main room. Jasmine threw her arms open. “Welcome aboard, matey!” she announced. “Enjoy the pool deck!” “Pool? Was this filled with water-” Xant took a step closer but his ears were tickled by the sound underfoot. He had assumed the floor would have been of the same steel or plastics the ship was composed of but no, underneath him, the entire floor was made of wood. The doctor spluttered, reaching down to the floor to feel it. There was more wood here than he had seen in his entire lifetime, and humans used it for *flooring. *
“Ooh yeah, nothing beats a pristine hardwood deck, that’s why I told you not to scuff it.” Jasmine smiled, walking towards the glass doors. “Let’s check inside! I wonder if everything is still here?” Xant followed her. The whole building catered to a human’s sensibilities. He would be stepping into a truly alien environment.
And it was beautiful.
He was welcomed to a room detailed with wood and gold, whose glass windows shimmered even in the dim light. Displaced furniture, long couches and tables made of wood, extravagantly painted cloth with the shimmer of arvas pupa silk gathered dust, their beauty was comparable to imperial belongings. He ran a finger over the cushions and inspected the thin layer. “Phew! What a mess. Help me clean it up a bit…” Jasmine began lifting up an over turned chair, sliding it into a corner with an almost innate knowledge of where everything should go. The chairs, a long couch and two armchairs had all been pushed into the corner of the room the tables had slid to either end. Xant was almost too scared to touch anything. “What should I do?” he asked, afraid to risk any delicate work.
“We’ll start by dusting off the chairs, then I’ll tell you where they go, okay?”
“Alright...”
The chairs were covered in a soft cushiony material. Xant couldn't stop brushing his hand over them as he delicately placed the furniture, and was dismayed when he saw none of them had a hole for his tail.
“I’ll need help with this!” Jasmine called. The space beneath a large window was taken up by a long lounge, on which Jasmine promptly plonked herself. “Oh my god…I missed cushions.” She patted the space beside her. “Don't be shy! Take a load off!” “Just a moment.” Xant tapped his suit. He couldn't contain himself in steel any longer, the temptation to feel his new environment was too great. The suit splayed open and he was able to step out of it onto fluffy, soft carpet.
Xant lost himself rubbing his feet on the soft fibers. First wood, now fabric? It was obscene!
His own carpet was a precious momento, why would humans consider a laborious resource worth turning into a construction material?
“Is something wrong, Xant?”
“The floor, is this a common fixture?”
“The carpet? I mean, the owner was a madman to have white carpet on a boat, but if you can afford something like this you’re not cleaning it yourself.” Jasmine shrugged. “Carpet’s not uncommon, but generally going out of style because it's so hard to keep clean.”
Xant was both relieved and perplexed by the answer.
“So the reason it is not more common is maintenance?”
“Yeah, keeping carpet, let alone white carpet clean is a nightmare,” Jasmine explained, happy to be talking about the mundanity. “If you think the carpet is amazing you should try out the couch here!” Xant looked over the seat. It appeared all human furniture had a tall back support, with no consideration for large tails such as his own. He did spy a more accommodating stool, however, with the same cushiony substance on top.
“I think this might be more appropriate.” He flipped over the stool and sat, comfortably, very comfortably. He let his body relax as he took in more of the surroundings through naked eyes. There were still so many things thrown about. Cleaning against the wall next to his seat Xant spied an intricately carved container. It was rectangular, heavy and for whatever reason, had uniform, pyramid-shaped protrusions on the outside decorative surely, but the design made it difficult for him to hold. He had to be very careful picking it up.
Jasmine's eyes lit up when he inspected the object more closely, opening the stopper to sniff the contents within.
It smelled of disinfectant.
“Oh my god, yes!”
The human scrambled off the couch and started rummaging through the shelves in the lonely island bench.
“Jasmine?”
“Ah ha!” she cried triumphantly, pulling out another uniquely shaped bottle. “Now this is going to be great!” She skipped over to Xant, picking up more glass rectangles, handed him an empty one and placed his original find on the table. She poured out an amber liquid, a drop in his glass and a more substantial pour in hers.
“What is it?” Xant asked.
“Old enough to vote,” she giggled, then closed her eyes and took a small sip before exhaling and shivering pleasantly. “This is...well, I'm guessing it's older now, but aged whisky, a.k.a, human alcohol.”
Xant wrinkled up his nose.
“Is it supposed to be this colour?”
“Yes! When you drink it, you can taste the oak barrels and honey. But I know you guys use this for disinfectant, so, you get a drop if you're brave.”
“Considering what it does to your physiology, I doubt my own constitution can handle it.”
“Shame.” She shrugged and took another sip.
Xant couldn't taste it, but watched as Jasmine melted into relaxation.
“Ahhh, like drinking warm silk,” she described.
He took a sniff of the sample she gave him.
It was woody and sweet, but the second sniff burnt the inside of his nostrils. Xant graciously placed the ‘drink’ down, while Jasmine chuckled at his reaction.
“Yeah it’s not a drink for a first timer, I think it gets even more potent the longer it sits… and who knows how long we were floating out there.”
“By my best estimates, it could be anywhere between 10 to 1000 [quarters]. Calculating in the unexplored regions of the system, what is currently reachable by galactic council gates and the limit of stasis pods.” Xant informed her.
Jasmine sat quietly for a moment, staring into her glass, before she threw back her head and the drink in one go.
“Whoooo!” She coughed. “Okay, we've seen this room, what else is there to explore!” She swayed getting to her feet, but charged forward anyway. Xant followed close behind, in case she lost her footing, or incase the alcohol began interfering with her Freq control.
The hallways connecting the chambers were very narrow, almost too narrow for him, and all of them had such sharp ascents and descents. The human led inside to one of the many inner chambers, each one as tossed around as the last. There was an entire ‘library’ of paper books, another room dedicated to the act of ‘entertaining’, featuring a destroyed dataslate the size of an operating table, and smaller ‘bedrooms’ that appeared just to be filled with more cushiony furniture.
“And here is the master bedroom.” Jasmine pushed open the ornate wooden doors to reveal yet another spectacular room, almost as large as the entertainment deck, but was sparsely furnished, all Xant could see was that it contained a bed with tables either side, but the bed was nothing short of magnificent. The tapestry stretched across it was nothing short of breathtaking, where giant intertwining flowers embroidered with gold thread sprawled across its majesty. He’d never seen anything as intricate made from pure cloth, the designs were simply beautiful.
“You really like that bedspread, huh?” Jasmine questioned. Xant ran his hand over the quilt, picking it up and feeling the weight of it, wondering what it was like to not be mesmerised by it all.
“Are humans always surrounded by such beauty?” he asked.
The question caught her off guard, and she looked around the room.
“Not always, but, at the same time, this is closer to what it’s like on earth than either the station or the base.” She held her arms wide as she took lazy steps across the room.
“Windows, pictures and paint on the walls, bedsheets and pillows...we like ‘beautiful’ surroundings.” She fell backward onto the large bed, rolling on the blankets and looking up at Xant. “You’ve got no excuse not to feel what the bed is like.”
Xant sighed, took a deep breath and mimicked Jasmine’s actions, letting himself flop forward onto the bed.
It was fluffy and soft.
“I think the sheet’s a genuine 1000 thread count too. Maybe I could make a proper cape out of this, huh?”
“It is absolutely fascinating that humans sleep on such luxury.”
“The lucky ones sleep on such luxury! But I do appreciate bedsheets after going without for so long.”
Her attention was shortening by the moment, as she rolled off the most comfortable place in existence to peek around a door.
“The ensuite!!” she squealed. “Oh Xant, you have to see what a real bathroom looks like!”
If the master bedroom was the most comfortable place in the world, then the ensuite was the most ornate. Xant couldn’t even identify what half the items were in the room, but they apparently all pertained to the simple act of grooming.
Long, wide mirrors lined one entire side of the room, double marble basins and chrome taps sat beneath them. Frosted glass windows, a bath big enough to fit four and a bidet decorated with gold made up the rest of the fixtures. Jasmine once again began rummaging through the shelves, making happy noises with every new discovery.
“Xant, hold out your hand!”
The doctor reluctantly did so, and Jasmine placed a small white blob in it. “Smell it!!” she insisted, fever in her eyes.
He took a quick and wary sniff, but the burning sensation he expected never came.
A fresh and vibrant perfume filled his senses, a sweetness he’d never known.
“It's jasmine hand cream! This is what my namesake smells like!” She dotted her entire arms with the cream and rubbed it into her skin.
“A moisturizer?”
“Yes! And here’s shampoo and conditioner, for hair, moisturizer, face cream, body wash, exfoliant, oh god please, oh please let the water be running!”
She dived for the taps to the bath, wrenching the handle as hard and as fast as it would go, but to no avail.
“Noooo,” she sobbed, hanging her head. “S’pose it was too good to be true, the water in the tanks would be dry…”
Xant curiously looked over the bathtub and jasmine could feel his freq overflowing with curiosity.
“So humans clean themselves in still water?”
“Well, soaking in the tub is fun, it's not exclusively how we clean ourselves, the shower is better for that.”
“So what is the difference between a human shower and our own?”
Jasmine pulled a disgruntled face.
“It’s the difference between a warm gentle rain and a cold pressure hose!” she exclaimed. “Oh, I wonder if we could get it running again…?” She absent mindedly lifted up a wicker basket, finding a few clothes the previous owners had left behind. “So, what do you think?” she asked, lifting a floral summer dress up over her figure.
“The patterns are beautiful, but, is it a cape?”
“No, it’s a dress! Hmmm, but I’d have to lose a few kilos for it to fit.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Well, I’m a little bit bigger than the supermodel who stayed on this boat, but nothing a few weeks of exercise and diet couldn’t fix. Since there’s no junk food I really don’t have the excuse.”
“Are you not already in optimal condition?”
“Pfffft! No, god no.” She pulled at her stomach fat playfully. “Too much good food and junk food makes for chunky humans.”
“Junk food?”
Jasmine grinned ear to ear.
“Junk food, food that holds almost no nutritional value but is all about taste, glorious morsels of sugar, salt and colour dye.”
“There’s a chance sugar could be found aboard this vessel? We’d need to destroy it if there is any intact, its addictive nature can destroy a Sulins inhibition perminately.”
“Well if it’s going to be anywhere on the ship, it’ll be in the kitchen!”
They headed down to the bottom decks and stepped into a stainless steel wonderland. Jasmine was in her element, running her hand over the many pieces of specialised equipment as Xant watched on in wonder.
They found a perfectly polished kitchen, filled to the brim with human utensils, and all of it for the sole use of producing food. Jasmine lifted a book from the floor and brought it over to Xant.
“Here, this is what human food is supposed to look like.”
The graphical fidelity of the pictures was phenomenal, given that they weren’t on a computer screen, but the colours and shapes didn’t even seem similar to what he knew as ‘food’. He had seen sculptures that didn’t have dimensions nearly as interesting as those of the consumables depicted, and there was page after page of them, dish after dish, each one a work of art.
She showed him the variety of knives on display and the stupid amount of cutlery for eating said food. This was an entire industry to these people, the production and skill devoted to it was…
Garish.
Jasmine stood before a giant set of doors, her hands hovering over the handles.
“This is a refrigerator, we keep perishable goods inside… I wonder if anything is still…”
She jerked open the doors and they were both greeted with the foulest stench. The rotting and liquefied remains of meat and vegetables slopped onto the floor. Sealed inside the fridge, the smell had fermented to overpowering levels.
“Air!” Jasmine shouted as she scrambled past Xant. “I need air!”
They ran up several stairs to escape the toxic gas and were able to breathe a sigh of relief once above deck. They appeared to have come out the other side, more couches and pools littering the area Jasmine made her way across to get to the bow of the ship.
She walked to its peak, then climbed over the safety railing to hold the spearhead.
Puffing out her chest and throwing her arms open, she proclaimed for the entire engineering wing to hear,
“I’M ON A BOAT, I’M ON A BOAT! TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT THE MOTHER FUCKING BOAT!”
An echo of uproarious laughter soon followed suit, a joke Xant wasn’t privy to, then Jasmine climbed back to join him.
“You know, I think I’m done for the moment. I need a break from all this excitement…”
She flopped herself down on one of the sunbeds, and Xant stood over her.
“Jasmine, I’ve been meaning to ask...”
“Go ahead?”
“All of this, it’s wonderful, but it’s nothing like the memory you shared with me. All this is pure opulence. Your memory was far more humble and comforting…”
“Well, that’s because this is a superyacht, and not a lower-income one bedroom apartment…” The human shrugged.
“So, what measure of wealth allows people to live such drastically different lives?”
“... I, dunno know, they're mostly owners of companies, corporations, kings, queens, people who run economies…”
“What expertise defines their worth to be that much more than yours?” Xant asked pointedly.
Jasmine faltered for an answer. While she could throw around words like investment portfolios and trust funds, she didn't actually understand the system as well as she would have liked.
“They study finance, have rich parents, inherited gold mines…luck, I guess? There’s many different ways to get there.”
“So, every human has the chance to attain this level of contribution credit?”
“No…”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” Xant remarked, finally lying down beside her. Jasmine stared up at the steel enclosed ceiling, reflecting.
“No it’s not, but it’s getting better,” she replied. “Slowly but surely, it's getting better.”
 
##Wiki/Chapter list = First Chapter = Previous = Next
 

Book 1- Transcripts

Book 2- Transcripts: Zero

Book 3- Transcripts: Dreams

Book 4- Transcripts: Disparity

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Overall summary

Name	Club	Apps: starts (from the bench)	Minutes played	Goals	Assists	Clean sheets (GK only)	Note
Matej Kovar	Swindon Town (League One)	21 (0)	1890	0	0	1	Loan ended: recalled back to Man Utd
Joel Pereira	Huddersfield Town (Championship)	1 (0)	90	0	0	0
Jacob Carney	Brighouse Town (Northern Premier League)	4 (0)	360	0	0	1	All fixtures currently suspended due to national lockdown
Max Taylor	Kidderminster Harriers (National League North)	10 (0)	841	1	0	-
Di'Shon Bernard	Salford City (League Two)	12 (1)	1142	2	2	-
Diogo Dalot	AC Milan (Serie A)	9 (4)	867	1	1	-
Ethan Laird	MK Dons (League One)	0 (1)	63	0	0	-
James Garner	Watford (Championship)	13 (7)	1234	0	1	-
Dylan Levitt	Charlton Athletic (League One)	5 (0)	386	0	0	-	Loan ended: recalled back to Man Utd
Aliou Traore	SM Caen (Ligue 2)	3 (8)	389	0	0	-
Andreas Pereira	SS Lazio (Serie A)	2 (14)	419	1	0	-
Max Haygarth	Brentford B (-)	7 (4)	628	3	0	-	Loan ended: moved to Brentford on a permanent deal
Tahith Chong	Werder Bremen (Bundesliga)	5 (10)	534	1	2	-
Amad Diallo	Atalanta (Serie A)	0 (2)	41	0	0	-	Permanent deal to join Manchester United

Max Haygarth (Brentford B)

Max completed a permanent move to Brentford B on a contract until June 2022 with an option of a further year. I wish him all the best for the future!
Neil MacFarlane (Brentford B Head Coach): “We’re delighted that Max will be signing with us permanently. He has come in and made a real impression on the group, with his attitude and his quality on a daily basis. Max was highly thought of at Manchester United and he has had a fantastic football education having come through the ranks there.
Since he has come to us it’s been our job to try and improve him and, hopefully, he can get to the levels where he can compete to train and then play for the First Team, as we saw when he made his debut against Nottingham Forest.
It’s been a quick rise, but it comes down to the fact that he’s really bought into what we are as a B Team and who we are as a Football Club. He has really good quality at the top end of the pitch, and of course, there is still a long way to go in terms of his development, but he’s already made steps which he can be really proud of. There’s much more to come from him and he has the potential to really kick on in his career.”

Matej Kovar (Swindon Town)

Matej has been recalled by Manchester United.
Matej Kovar on his Instagram: "My time came earlier than I thought. And personally I think this is best way for both sides. I know I didn't show the quality what I'm capable of but i'll take it as a big lesson from which i'll learn. Now is time for my to put my head down and work hard to make sure i'll be ready for next challenge. Thank you very much Swindon and wish you all the best for rest of the season."

Dylan Levitt (Charlton Athletic)

Dylan has been recalled by Manchester United.
Lee Bowyer (Charlton Athletic manager): “Dylan is a professional lad and a very talented footballer. I'd like to thank Nicky Butt and Manchester United for allowing us to bring in Dylan on loan. He worked hard during his time here and we wish him the best for the future."
Dylan Levitt on his Twitter: "I’d like to thank the club for the opportunity and wish the club all the best for the rest of the season"
Jonathan Shrager: "Both QPR and Portsmouth like Levitt, but in terms of going out on loan again for the second half of the season, Dylan will assess after a couple of weeks back at #MUFC, and a couple of U23 games. He is very keen to go to the Euros with Wales in the summer, so it is a big decision"

Ethan Laird (MK Dons)

Ethan got loaned to MK Dons until the end of the season. Came on from the bench to make his debut and played 63 minutes in 1:1 (3:4 after penalties) loss against Burnley in FA Cup.
Selected highlights:
Brilliant run with the ball
Every touch
WhoScored.com rating: 6.6/10 (team average: 6.85)
Stats:
Shots: 0
Possession: 0.7%
Touches: 34
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 6/8 (75%)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles won/Dribbles attempted (success %): 2/5 (40%)
Dribbled past: 1
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 4/9 (44%) (joint 2nd most aerials won for MK Dons)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 1/2 (50%)
Clearances: 3
Interceptions: 0
Dispossessed: 1
Errors: 0
Fouls: 0
Offsides: 1
Ethan Laird: “I'm buzzing to get started, the manager has shown a lot of faith in me and what I can do for the team, and that’s all I could ask for - it’s now up to me show why he was right to choose me. I need to work my way into the team and get to know the lads, but I want to make as much of an impact as I can while I’m here. That’s something I’ll always hold myself too - how can I affect my teammates and the Club in a positive way. This is the perfect place for me to continue developing, with the way the team play. They are aggressive, they like to get in behind and they leave it all out on the pitch and that's my idea of football. I believe in the manager’s idea of the way we play and I want to make sure that I can help make that happen. I know we can achieve good things if we stick to the manager's beliefs and implement them on the pitch. In terms of who I am - I'm quick, I like to dribble with the ball and I'm always looking to get in behind and put in crosses. I have bundles of energy and I'll be looking to put that to good use!"
Russell Martin (MK Dons manager): "Ethan is someone with real quality and we’re really pleased to be able to bring him in. He’s chosen to come here over a number of options, which is brilliant for us. He’s very explosive but with lots of quality on the ball and he can play in a couple of positions in defence or further forward, which gives us some more versatility. He’s really highly thought of at Man United and we are very grateful to them for allowing us the opportunity to work with him. We’re looking forward to that opportunity and hopefully, he’ll come in and add something to the group.”
Toby Lock (MK Citizen reporter) after game vs Burnley: "7.5/10. A great start to life at MK Dons with an energetic and promising performance off the bench."
Russell Martin (MK Dons manager) after game vs Burnley: "Yeah, [he brings] power, athleticism. We've done obviously a very little work with him, because he's only been here for a day, he came here yesterday. He's brought in a real enthusiasm, real energy as a character - which I really, really like. You could see today what he's gonna bring us, especially when we are gonna get him up to the speed. He's not played for a good few weeks, so I have to be patient with him. He's gonna really, really add to the group, so I'm really pleased with that signing. And you know, the competition. He adds the competition, because I thought Regan Poole was really, really excellent tonight. So yeah, it's really, really good for us, a good addition."
Fans' opinion:
“Laird looks quality.” ~keyser soze on The Concrete Roundabout Forum
“Looked good but needs his fitness to improve but understandable given his injuries" ~@mark_l04 on Twitter
“Was decent, see what United fans mean by him being rapid” ~@chxrlier17 * on *Twitter
“When Ethan Laird is up to speed with our style and exactly what Russ wants him to do, can see him being some player for us.” ~@DonsDan13 on Twitter
“Considering he has not trained with us he has looked very good” ~@junglecad on Twitter

Di'Shon Bernard (Salford City)

Played 90 minutes and scored a goal in 1:2 loss against Mansfield Town in League Two.
Selected highlights:
Goal scored
Good block on a shot that was potentially going in
WhoScored.com rating: 7.7/10 (team average: 6.42) (best rating for Salford City)
Stats:
Shots (on target): 2 (1)
Hit woodwork: 1
Possession: 7.3% (most possession on the pitch)
Touches: 92 (most touches on the pitch)
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 35/62 (56%)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 1
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 3/5 (60%) (joint most aerials won for Salford City)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 3/4 (75%) (joint most tackles won for Salford City)
Clearances: 3 (joint 2nd most clearances for Salford City)
Interceptions: 3 (2nd most interceptions for Salford City)
Dispossessed: 3
Errors: 0
Fouls: 0
Offsides: 0
Charlie Gregory (MEN Sports reporter): "No news yet [over the future of Bernard]. He’s been impressive for Salford - no hiding that Richie’s an admirer and will want him for the remainder of the season. Remains to be seen what Utd will want to do."
Fans' opinion:
“Only Hladky, Bernard and Hunter look better than ordinary.” ~bronco123 on Salford City FC "Red Ammies" Fans Forum

Max Taylor (Kidderminster Harriers)

Was not selected in matchday squad in 2:2 draw against York City in National League North. Was unused substitute in 2:3 loss against Gloucester City in National League North.

Aliou Traore (SM Caen)

Played 90 minutes in 1:1 draw against AJ Auxerre in Ligue 2.
SofaScore rating: 6.5/10 (team average: 6.85)
Stats:
Shots: 0
Touches: 39
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 20/25 (80%)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles won/Dribbles attempted (success %): 1/2 (50%)
Dribbled past: 1
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 0/3 (0%)
Tackles: 0
Clearances: 2
Interceptions: 2
Fouls: 2
Offsides: 0
Fans' opinion:
“4/10. Made 2 or 3 penetrating passes but not enough” ~@Tipunch11 on Twitter

Andreas Pereira (SS Lazio)

Was unused substitute in 2:1 win against Fiorentina in Serie A. Came on from the bench and played 23 minutes in 2:0 win against Parma in Serie A.
WhoScored.com rating: 6.3/10 (team average: 7.16)
Stats:
Shots (on target): 1 (0)
Possession: 1.1%
Touches: 14
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 9/10 (90%)
Key passes: 2 (joint 2nd most for Lazio)
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 1
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 0/1 (0%)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 0/1 (0%)
Clearances: 0
Interceptions: 0
Corners (accurate %): 2 (100%)
Dispossessed: 0
Errors: 0
Fouls: 0
Offsides: 0
Simone Inzaghi (Lazio manager after game vs Fiorentina): "Andreas Pereira would have liked to make his contribution against Fiorentina, but I'm very satisfied with him. The Brazilian is integrating, even if it is difficult to find space. Andreas is still sending out very good signals."
Fans' opinion:
“He's one of those rare players who always gives the impression that he can do something decisive at any moment. It's a pity that our midfield is already crowded with strong and hardly expendable players like SMS and LA. But he should be playing more. Much more than what little he is playing.” ~Mocambo on Lazio.net forum
“According to me he is the perfect alternative to create a game in case Luis Alberto is absent. He is wasted up front and doesn't have the movements of a forward (but not a second forward either).” ~Inzaghino87 on Lazio.net forum
“He's a fantastic player, I'm very fond of him, I think he's going to be very good over time, an important player. I like the way he plays, he's fast, technically impressive and knows how to do everything on the pitch, I'd really like to keep him at all costs.” ~marco87 on Lazio.net forum
“Quality of a proper player. In the last few minutes he was dribbling with ease. We need more Pereira. One of those born with the ball at his feet.” ~FedericoPrati on Lazio.net forum
“This time with 10 minutes more than usual he made a shot, gave a crazy ball to Immobile, and helped the team by keeping the ball. Good performance.” ~simcar on Lazio.net forum

Diogo Dalot (AC Milan)

Played 81 minutes in 1:3 loss against Juventus in Serie A. Came on from the bench, got a yellow card and played 40 minutes in 2:0 win against Torino in Serie A.
WhoScored.com rating vs Juventus: 6.5/10 (team average: 6.45)
Stats vs Juventus:
Shots (on target): 1 (1)
Possession: 3.7%
Touches: 58
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 27/32 (84%)
Key passes: 1
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 2
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 1/1 (100%)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 1/3 (33%)
Clearances: 3 (2nd most clearances for AC Milan)
Interceptions: 2 (joint 2nd most interceptions for AC Milan)
Dispossessed: 0
Errors: 0
Fouls: 0
Offsides: 0
Fans' opinion after game vs Juventus:
“Lastly, I was happy to see Dalot improve. He has a long, long way to go but he wasn’t overwhelmed by Ronaldo and even had a shot at goal.” ~forza_rossoneri on /ACMilan
“We now know Dalot is big time, and can shut down Ronaldo.” ~jpanuccio2996 on /ACMilan
“-#Dalot to date can neither defend nor attack;” ~@NSipari on Twitter
“Dalot is practically useless. He doesn't cross, he doesn't jump, he isn't fast, he can't defend.” ~Posterdati on AC Milan Forum
“I thought Dalot did an admirable job today with a very tough task ahead of him.” ~Milan10 on Forum AC Milan Online
WhoScored.com rating vs Torino: 5.8/10 (team average: 6.9) (joint worst rating on the pitch)
Stats vs Torino:
Shots: 0
Possession: 2.8%
Touches: 31
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 24/25 (96%) (best passing success for AC Milan)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 0
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 0/1 (0%)
Tackles: 0
Clearances: 0
Interceptions: 1
Dispossessed: 1
Errors: 1
Fouls: 2
Offsides: 0
Fans' opinion after game vs Torino:
“Every now and then he facilitates the ball out with remarkable ball distribution, you can't deny him all-round technique. But if he shuts his brain down like he did, he is trivially unreliable.” ~Djerry on Milan World Forum
“He certainly has a good foot, but nothing else. otherwise he's a very average full-back. we can find at least 10 better ones in italy” ~Posterdati on AC Milan Forum
“#Dalot 5/10 replaces the injured Tonali and gets himself cautioned after a few minutes. Tactically he takes Calabria's place and the hint of lack of confidence is visible” ~@RedellePagelle on Twitter
“I wouldn't say Dalot was poor. He didn't make any mistakes and actually dynamized the right flank” ~Omfier on /ACMilan
“Dalot is a good passer, I'd like to try him as emergency mid rather than Calabria.” ~Samaldinho on Forum AC Milan-Online

Tahith Chong (Werder Bremen)

Played 60 minutes in 1:1 draw against Bayer Leverkusen in Bundesliga.
WhoScored.com rating: 6.5/10 (team average: 6.59)
Stats:
Shots: 0
Possession: 1.3% (least possession on the pitch)
Touches: 21 (least touches on the pitch)
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 6/12 (50%) (least passes on the pitch, 2nd worst passing accuracy on the pitch)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 0
Aerials: 0
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 1/1 (100%)
Clearances: 0
Interceptions: 2
Dispossessed: 1
Errors: 0
Fouls: 2
Offsides: 0
Florian Kohfeldt (Werder Bremen manager) before game vs Bayer Leverkusen: "Tahith Chong has earned a start based on his strong performances in training and in games. We're going to need his speed today."
Björn Knips (Deich Stube writer after game vs Bayer Leverkusen): "That was not Bundesliga level. Lost almost every ball, bounced off the opponents and ruined the few good sequences with wrong decisions. At least the commitment was right."
Fans' opinion:
“some of the situations he messes up wouldn't have happened at all without his speed... I think he just lacks practice.” ~Gertrud Schlorke on Worum.org
“Very weak performance. I was expecting a substitution at half-time.” ~Bayernschreck on Worum.org
“I wouldn't fundamentally condemn the transfer, but a loan for a year without a buy-out is of course not ideal for either side. If he were a young player in his own right, I would have a good imagination, but I would never want to pay a transfer fee for him at the moment.” ~Bibo on Worum.org
“He is simply not strong enough to fight and his passing game is insufficient. At the moment, he''s not good enough at the back and up front.” ~Servus on Worum.org
“If he doesn't improve significantly, he won't have much fun in Machester.” ~Christian on Worum.org

Joel Pereira (Huddersfield Town)

Was not selected in matchday squad in 2:3 loss against Plymouth Argyle in FA Cup.

James Garner (Watford)

Was not selected in matchday squad due to loan rules in 0:1 loss against Manchester United in FA Cup.

Next up

January 11th:
At 7:45 PM Traore's SM Caen plays Toulouse in Ligue 2.
January 12th:
At 7 PM Bernard's Salford City plays Scunthorpe United in League Two.
At 7:45 PM Dalot's AC Milan plays Torino in Coppa Italia. Laird's MK Dons play Northampton Town in EFL Trophy - Play Offs.
January 15th:
At 7:45 PM Andreas' SS Lazio plays AS Roma in Serie A.
January 16th:
At 2:30 PM Chong's Werder Bremen play Augsburg in the Bundesliga.
At 3 PM Garner's Watford plays Joel's Huddersfield Town in the Championship. Laird's MK Dons play Peterborough United in League One. Bernard's Salford City plays Newport County in League Two. Taylor's Kidderminster Harriers play Spennymoor in National League North.
At 6 PM Traore's SM Caen plays AC Ajaccio in Ligue 2.
^{*All times are GMT.}

What’s up guys. After last week’s MINTY Free Hit Guide I’ll be going through my top double gameweek picks based on my recent studies of the underlying stats and the eye test. I ended up with 61 pts on my FH last week so hopefully I can help a few of you out again. Here goes…
​
BETWEEN THE STICKS:
Flappy-handski (5.1m)
The former Gunner looks to be ripe for points should he shrug off a thigh injury. His latest comments seem to suggest so but a rest isn’t out the question. BUR and WBA at the London Stadium looks fantastic. Personally, I’d stay safe with a WHU DEF instead.
Big Emiliano (5.1m)
With his price skyrocketing faster than bog roll during this season, it’s easy to see why. A game at the Ethihad looks good for saves galore followed up by the shambolic attack of NEW for the current top scoring keeper.
The Stone (4.5m)
A nice pick if you’re banking on saves and a miracle Big Sam revival; Sam “The Stone” Johnstone isn’t a bad one this week. Wolves, as stated last week, look awful going forward whilst he also plays a Hammers side who have sold their main striker and are considering playing the man mountain – Diop, at striker. Antonio should be fine and fit to spoil the day for The Stone however.
​
THE D:
Cancelo Culture (5.8m)
Coming off the back of more returns, CC looks a prime pick at the back for MCI. My only reservation would be potential rotation after Pep’s classic, ominously vague comments on the Portuguese international.
Johnny Stones (5.0m) & Ruben Loftus Dias (5.8m)
Should you not have CC, I think these two are safe as houses for starts and points this week. Two plum fixtures and Pep has shockingly told us real, actual team news in that Ake and Laporte are out.
Aaron “Babyface” Cresswell (5.4m)
It seems like just yesterday the former Ipswich Town man made his move to the Hammers, it’s actually been 7 years… I wouldn’t take him over Stones personally especially for the long haul but after the MCI assets he looks a fantastic pick up. Set pieces and playing at LB now instead of stifled at a LCB role.
Vlad (4.7m)
At the other side of the WHU DEF is Vlad Coufal. Some attacking threat, nailed on and with two plum games – he’s a quality budget pick. If you can’t stretch to him then take a look at forgotten man Craig Dawson (4.5m) who absolutely loves a set piece header.
Chillers (6.1m)
Costing a fortune but near the top of my picks is Ben Chilwell. If Lampard wants to remain in the hotseat at the Bridge, he will need results against Fulham and Leicester. Chilwell has the season pedigree to haul this week. A hold more than a buy.
Andrade Roberto (7.4m)
Heftily priced and facing one of the biggest games of the season against United in the double, Robbo still looks like a wise investment with a Chris Wood led Burnley following a likely cagey top of the table clash of the titans. A keep but not a buy. Look elsewhere for premium investment. River Trent (7.3m) slightly cheaper and on direct FKs for those with limited change in their pockets.
Shawshank Redemption (4.8m)
Mr Corners and fresh of the back of a 7 pointer last week, I’d be shocked to see OATW drop Shaw for Telles at the moment. Very nice fixtures going forward too. Fulham and Pool, not too bad.
Harry Maguire (5.4m) – Already memed too much to allow for a nickname.
A goal disallowed for putting his 6”5 frame on some poor lil’ fullback (rightly so to be fair) last week, he is the premium option at the back for United. On 5 yellows though and I’m sure he’d take one against Pool if it helped the chances of winning that game.
Middle of the park:
Kevin (11.8m)
Top of the xG charts over recent times, top of the xA charts over the season (shocking I know…) the dilemma should be more so will you captain him or not? Did look tired against BRI last week.
Mo (12.5m)
Statistically underwhelming and even getting outshone in some departments by Bobby F and Mane, Salah is still one of the best picks and captaincy picks this week. He will play both games, he will be on pens, he will get chances. The big question mark is the United game.
Mr Penalties Worldwide (11.4m)
One of our community members (Abol) managed to have the armband on the diminutive England winger this week as his penalty sailed in the dark skies of Manchester. Personally, this is the highest risk, highest reward pick to opt for this week. Only 8 minutes against Brighton and hungry to set things straight, he’s a very intriguing pick. Do you have the balls?
Bruno (11.3m)
Still looking like he’s just climbed Everest, Bruno keeps playing and remains in the picks. Not performing as well along side Pogz, we will see if Paul even starts this weekend as OATW may opt for a more defensively astute lineup without the World Cup Winner. This should benefit Bruno but expect managed minutes and Paul back for Fulham.
Marcus “The Saviour” Rashford (9.6m)
Unlike Bruno, Rashy’s stats with Pogz are much better. Not a bad shout for this week and arguably the best at his price point for the double.
Big Phil Fodes (6.2m)
At his price, if we knew he’d start even 4/5 fixtures with managed minutes he’d be template. Unfortunately there’s a man named Josep Guardiola Sala in the dugout so even a hat trick you’re not safe (see Mahrez). Risky, but arguably worth the risk at his price point given the upside and fixtures.
The Lad Himself (7.7m)
Have seen a lot of other FPL content producers and community members tip him as a bad pick this week. I disagree. If you have him, you’d be insane to sell. Some of the best underliers in the top leagues across Europe. Jackie Grealish with a double is absolutely a stick. I’d even consider brining him in given the fixtures and games in hand he has to play. Loves a juicy double.
Tomas VARcek (5.3m)
The big man from Czech will be licking his lips at his fixtures this week against side who are about as good at defending set pieces at Sebastian Giovinco. A Soucek shoe-in.
Anwar El Goalzi (5.8m)
Not a massive fan myself after watching him for a couple of seasons now. In a purple patch but there are better options at the Brummie club. Okay as filler, cheap option.
Barninho (6.8m)
Hitting a little bit of form and more importantly for Barnes owners and buyers; minutes, he is a shrewd pick up for the double. Strong for his price point.
Up Top:
Michail “Glass Hams” Antonio (6.2m)
A monster in front of goal but with the hamstrings of Mike Wazowski. Surely, surely he starts both. If WHU owners want to sell their only other striker whilst he’s not even fit yet, I’d be flabbergasted. Minutes managed yes but I’m sure Moyes doesn’t want Big Issa Diop starting up top. High risk, high reward.
Ollie Statkins (6.1m)
Not even a safer pick this week given the mystery that is Covid at Villa. Should he not be one of the ones affected, you can expect a crisp 90 mins x 2 from the former Championship man. Has the stats and Grealish given plates to haul. Strong pick despite what Watkins owners may tell you.
Jamie “Chithousery” Vardy (10.1m)
He needs no introduction. A premium forward and if you have the cash, a fine pick. My issues is there are better picks in MID for a similar price.
GENERAL TIPS AND CLOSING COMMENTS:
Should you bench boost?
Team dependent but probably not. Another dub GWK to come and to plan for. If you have a couple single GWKers with decent fixtures and the rest are dubs then go for it.
Should you TC?
Possibly. KDB and Salah are very decent TC options. Sterling if you’ve had a few and want a punt.
General transfer advice?
Hits for single to dub GWKers effectively only cost 2 pts. Not a bad week to restructure your team.
Come check me out on Twitch for my weekly pre deadline stream happening live right now ( https://www.twitch.tv/spearmintspaff ). I am on Twitter too ( https://twitter.com/SpearmintSpaff ). It's not your usual FPL content, occurring at a regular, later time than other content creators for folks in stranger time zones such as myself in Canada and you notorious dead zone nutcases.
Usual KO for our stream is:
9PM UK GMT / 2PM CAD MDT / 4PM USA EDT / 1 PM USA PST
Thanks guys and good luck.
Current rank: #222,037. All time: #18.

My wife and I decided to finally get around to building our long discussed home bar since we can't go out during the pandemic lock downs.
Link to the album https://imgur.com/gallery/NlgnF8O
We saw this room when we first did the home tour before buying it and knew we needed to turn it into a modern British style pub. We used to live in the UK for 3 years and pub culture is one of the things we missed the most, other than easy travel. With the lock downs here we figured now was as good of a time to tackle this project as ever. The pub is named to evoke the style of British pubs and is named after an animal native to my wife's home of Guam and the state bird of PA, where I am from.
We started by ripping all the carpet up and lay click together LVP before building the bar itself, as has been pointed out to me in the DIY thread I made, I probably screwed up by building the bar structure over the LVP but time will tell. This project was done entirely by myself with the exception of hooking up the sink, I've never done plumbing so a friend came over to help with that (payment made in 2 for 5 whopper lunch and beer). We started laying the floor at the end of October, and the framing and rough built counters were done by Thanksgiving. The main bar was finished just in time for NYE although there are some additions and changes made after that, mainly minor details like the 2nd magnet holder and the shelf on the fireplace. Finally the pool table was acquired through FB market place the last week of January and at that point I consider it finished. I'm sure there will be minor changes and decorations added but all major components are in place and done.
The single most expensive item was the flooring where we spent about $1500 on the LVP and T-moulding. Although we bought extra to floor two other smaller areas of the basement, the entryway on the other side of the room and my office in the basement. When everything was done we have 11 boards of LVP leftover.
Lumber and plywood was about $350 for both the bar frame and the various shelves and magnet holders.
Walnut bar top was $225 for 7.5' of kiln dried 1.5" thick slab.
Various plumbing supplies were a total of $108
All the black Iron Pipe used for the foot rail, bar supports, magnet holders, and paper towel holder came to about $140
Pool table was a steal at $400 for 8' slate
The rest of the items and links are below
Bar Stools we got them on sale for $70 each total of $280
Beer Fridge was on sale for $499
Fireplace Shelf Bracket $26
Bar Shelf Brackets $50
Hanging glass holder $18
Ice Maker $138
Led Strip Lights for liquor shelf and under bar $30
Bar Light fixture $80
Bar Sink $80
Faucet $107
Total was about $4,000 although I'm sure there are a few things I forgot to take into account.
We've used it a few times with a couple of our friends that we trust through covid and it has turned into quite the popular hangout spot. We're really looking forward to being able to have lots more friends over and do plenty of drinking here.

Relevant info: dwarf hamsters need an habitat of 50cmX80cm of continuous space minimum.
This is a repost. The original post is by u/bisexual-distress
Rate my hamster setup? I'm always open to more suggestions!
pic
Kept up high to keep my dwarf hamster safe from the cat! I tried to keep the basics in mind, a single cage is way too small, as little plastics as possible, adequate bar spacing..
pic
This has the deepest bedding the cage will allow, mostly geared towards him sleeping, with all the wicker hidey holes to choose from
pic
This one is mostly a feeding station for him, and access to a bunch of tubes
pic
An outer view of his sleeping cage
pic
This one is mostly for exercise, hence why his water bottle is closest. It has his own set of tubes, too.
[comments (including mine) telling OP why his setup had to change, and quick]
OP's comments:

I definitely appreciate the recommendation! I mostly went with wire cages out of convenience, but tried to pick a bar spacing too small to get his little teeth into, to avoid that issue, and go with multiple all hooked up to give him more space. Once I move, though, and have the space, I'll look into a big bin cage! I did try to give him a sand bath before, but he seemed afraid of it, so I omitted it. He's a very silly hamster.

​

Yeah, I'm definitely trying to look into a bigger, deeper cage for him to add to the setup, but the pre-made ones like this that are that big seem to not have a tube attachment anywhere, and I don't really wanna give up all those cages he has, only add to it to give him MORE space, so I'll probably have to make it myself. Definitely willing to, I just don't quite have the ability YET

​

[...] I'm definitely looking into big setup for him once I move! Hopefully, within the year. Quite a bit longer than I'd like for being able to upgrade him, but given that there's 3 people in this tiny apartment and space is a real premium, especially safe from my cat, I'm not sure I have much of a choice. I'm looking into every option I can possibly do right now, though, hopefully I'll find SOMETHING I can do now, I'm early in my newly enlightened proper enclosure research

------------
UPDATE
Bravoure update! Got everything for a bin cage!
pic
Thank you SO much to everyone who helped educate me on my last post. I've now learned that several small cages do NOT replace one big cage, like the one I'm now making!
pic
I'm going to repurpose the wire from his cages into this one! I also bought a few new toys for him. Thanks again to everyone who helped me learn from my mistakes! I'll update soon!
------------
UPDATE
Final update on Bravoure's new bin cage!
pic
I have his bedding slightly lower by the wheel, but it's about 5-6 inches deep on the other side, and I added his old bedding afterwards, too, since I wanted to make him comfy!
pic
I put his water bottle on the outside with holes poked to mount it, purely to make it easier to fill for him. He doesn't drink much, so it's smaller, but perfect for him
pic
His wheel is also mounted to the wall with a little wire fixture that's invisible from the front! Silly boy gets scared with it on a stand, for some reason.
pic
Added all of his toys and hides, plus a few new ones I got today! I also gave him some of the tubes! I know his sand bath is empty, I'm getting new sand next week, no worries
pic
Here he is inside it! He is zooming!
pic
THIS IS NOT FINISHED!!! I just have to be done for tonight, my arthritis is killing me, I won't bother posting picks of just my literal hack job added ventilation
OP's comments:

I am so lucky to have wonderful friends more financially stable willing to pool the money I needed to do this ASAP for little Bravoure. He seems to love it already, but is very confused why this new cage won't let him climb anymore, but he doesn't seem to mind too much. I may upgrade a little more one day, since it's a LITTLE too short to comfortably have a full sized hamster one day, if I so wanted, but he's more than happy with his big space, already seems way more content from his several smaller cages! I cannot thank you enough, along with everyone else, for being so polite and helpful in explaining what I was doing wrong and directing me to sources to help me learn better!

------------
UPDATE
I posted here forever ago with questions about how to make Bravoure a better home, so it's only fitting I share his final home!
pic
I got him the Savic Hamster Plaza, since my grandma had enough money to spare to get a used one, and he's loving the space AND ability to climb!
pic
He's definitely a senior, I've had him for a year and a half, but he's just as energetic as he was that very first day, him eating is really the only time I can take pics
pic
He's normally super aggressive, and has been since I got him, but he accepted a treat from my hand today, so I think he's really happy and relaxed!

Wind and snow buffeted the loading ramp of the ancient starship Crucible, landing on the same patch of ice it had for centuries. In the distance, above the snow drifts and towering walls of ice, the sun rose for the first time in more than two weeks. If one looked the other way, the day’s first light only barely danced upon the high spires of the Jedi facility built into the cliff face some distance away.
A collection of figures, hunched over and dressed in thick coats, stepped tentatively out into the howling wind. At the fore of the group walked a woman notably taller, her long brown cloak billowing out to her side. On they went, vanishing into the blowing snow.
After a lengthy march through snow rising well above the knees of the initiates, they arrived under the grand spire. The sunlight had traveled down from the top, now lighting the top quarter of the structure. Here the wind was blocked in part by tall walls of ice, though the whistling of it still dominated the air.
“We must hurry,” the Jedi Knight called, gesturing to the massive entryway. The initiates made the same gesture, and closed their eyes as they focused alongside their leader. A great sound issued from the door and it began to part, admitting them to the interior and to mercifully still air.
The atrium was cavernous, the stony ceiling towering above the new arrivals. As the doors closed behind them the room became very still, though bitterly cold it felt somehow different than outdoors. There was a warmth here. Far above a crystal fixture hung, idly reflecting sunlight downwards-- it may or may not have been the source.
Sitting before a sheet of glistening ice was a figure well-known to any Jedi, the Grand Master of the Order for hundreds of years: Master Yoda. Two statues, infinitely taller, stood on guard with their lightsabers presented before them. As the initiates entered, the wizened old Jedi Master opened his eyes.
“Greetings, younglings,” he said, getting slowly to his feet. Siri Tachi, the Jedi who had taken them this far, stepped behind him and turned to face her erstwhile charges, arms crossed. “You know why you are here, hmm?”
The answers from the group varied, but all held in common the lightsaber.
“Yes, and no,” Master Yoda replied, casting a knowing look at the initiates. “To build a lightsaber, harvest your crystal you must. To harvest your crystal is a test of its own.”
“This test is a great challenge,” Tachi added, reinforcing Master Yoda’s point. “The Caves focus the Force, they hone it. Within, the cave itself will test you. If you are worthy your crystal will find you.”
“Call to you, it will,” Yoda confirmed. He looked up, and raised a hand. Far above, the crystal fixture turned until the strongest ray of light landed upon the great sheet of ice behind him. Quickly, water began to run down from far above as it melted. Silence had been replaced now with the constant trickle of water, it ran down the steps and into a pool surrounding the statues and Master Yoda. “You must move quickly. The sun will set, and nightfall brings a new door. Those within cannot be freed until dawn.”
A series of nervous glances exchanged between the initiates, looking up at the rapidly-melting wall of ice. It looked thick and immovable, and this planet was cold enough during the day. Being trapped would mean certain death. Suddenly their task had more gravity to it. The chattering stopped.
“The heart of a lightsaber, your crystal is. As a padawan and beyond you will wield it, protecting the innocent and preserving peace in the galaxy. The crystal you harvest today, rest beside you it will when you become one with the Force,” he explained. “Go now, and may the Force be with you.”

Follow-up to this post, mods verifying users in fatFIRE are saints. TL;DR moved from an 1800 sq ft townhouse to a 7900sq ft home.
A lot of helpful info was posted in the last thread. Some things that have rang true:
1) Maintenance on a large home is really hard to understand until you are there. It is exactly what you would think: The same as a 2000sq ft home, but 4x as much (probably 5-6x given the increased complexity), except it's difficult imagine what 4x as much looks like until you live it. Unless you have some sort of a property manager, it is at least an hour or two a week minimum of organizing tradespeople and buying whatever parts or lights you might need or otherwise. People think "just pay someone" but there are jobs too small to be worth calling someone out, like changing any of the 200 lightbulbs, of which it seems there are at least 6-8 different types in use, then getting someone to come fix the built-in espresso maker, having an electrician come because for some reason the lights around the master bath keep tripping a breaker (loose wire), etc. It's not big $$ fixes, but it's hard to get away from having to quarterback it all.
2) Many tradespeople take one look at your place and try to take you for a ride. One guy came out to fix the indoor pool when we first moved in, said that he would need 3 guys to come out and dig up the stone tiles surrounding it to find the issue and refused to provide any kind of quote, saying it would be based on straight time. I was about to move forward, but went underneath in the crawl space and found one single vacuum line had come loose, plugged it in, and it started working again. I have never fixed a pool in my entire life. If I have any advice, do not trust anyone you just meet, and get 3 quotes where possible for bigger jobs (this has been more difficult this year, especially at the beginning of COVID).
3) I had a number of questions in the last thread about interior decorating. COVID put a halt to a number of our plans as supply-chains were disrupted and items we wanted were backordered by months, leaving us with fully empty rooms. We filled the place with serviceable furniture that we were able to acquire within weeks as we had essentially nothing to start, and surprisingly we are very happy with most of it. We're replacing a few things, but we have saved a ton by buying cheaper stuff and replacing as we go. When confronted with the choice of a cheap or much more expensive item, I have now found that if there is not immediately a clear-cut winner as a gut-feeling, 99% of the time I don't care after it's delivered, then shortly thereafter appreciate having spent less. If you find yourself in the same situation, do yourself a favor and heed this advice, we have saved 6-figures on this alone compared to our pre-covid plan.
4) Some high-end homes have unnecessarily complicated fixtures which I would never buy now if I were building a similarly priced home. The windows in this place are beautiful but are made in Europe. One of the locking mechanisms for oversized dual-opening patio doors broke, and after 9 months they still have not fixed it. We literally cannot open it, which isn't a huge deal since there is another set right beside them, but the company has said they need to manufacture this specific mechanism, and something about COVID has made this more difficult. Writing this just reminded me to call them for the 12th time.
5) Do not, under any circumstances, invest money in complicated home electronics that aren't widely available unless you would be okay lighting a pile of cash on fire. This place is a late-2000's electronics graveyard. Boxes and boxes of incredibly expensive equipment thrown out because all of the things you needed teams of people to install 10 years ago can now essentially be handled by Alexa/Lutron/Hue/Sonos for 1/10th of the cost, and 10x more intuitively. Automated TV mounts, I'm not even sure if that was cool back then.
6) Buying a large, luxury home has been 100%, unquestionably worth every penny and minute of time. The ~2000sq ft of recreation space has been used extensively and the gym is a godsend. We still use all of the common space daily. If you are thinking of buying a large home and are worried about whether or not you will have dead space, I've found it has much more to do with how the home is designed than it is with the square footage. Friends that have rooms they don't go in often have features like formal dining rooms, offices they don't need with no other clear purpose for the room, etc. that you probably could have predicted would not be used if you had thought about it beforehand.
To everyone who doubted the veracity of the last post, take time to thank the mods for verifying users so you can now spend your time on something more useful than trying to call out strangers on the internet.

We're first time homeowners in the Pacific Northwest area and knew we had to redo our bathroom when we moved in. First time doing a remodel and dealing with contractors. We got 3 bids, at 20K, 30K and 40K roughly, ultimately going with the people who can start immediately (lessons learned- red flag!) and the lowest cost. We hired these licensed contractors to start doing work at the end of November, they said they'd be done by Christmas but they're still working on it now. This is our only bathroom and I just wanted to post all the headaches we've gone through here, maybe seek any advice if we still can, and also help anyone who may run into a similar problem. At what point can you ask for a discount from your contractor based on these issues?
Before/After http://imgur.com/gallery/I6zFG9s
Photos http://imgur.com/gallery/TC0b35K
Tiles: Subway tiles, Merola Mosaic Hexagon Tiles from Home Depot Vanity: Stanhope 36" from Home Depot Bathtub and fixtures: Kingston Brass
The issues:

1. They hired subs to work on the tiling and they did an awful job. I asked them to redo the tiles that were sticking out, uneven, crooked. We asked them to redo the niche tiles because it was cut with a dull blade. This has been extremely stressful because I am still not 100% happy with it but short of ripping the whole thing out, I don't know what else could be done.
   
2. The tub was not level. They initially installed this tub angled toward the wall. My fiance asked them about this because he checked with a level after they left that day. They said they do this to prevent water from splashing out, and we foolishly believed them. After all the tiling was set and we were able to use the tub, we noticed pooling of water on one side. We asked them to relevel the tub so they had to rip out the bottom row of tiles.
   
3. The vanity lights were too high initially, we had asked them to move the mirror because they installed it way too high but they forgot to move the vanity light down as well. We asked them to fix this.
   
4. Plumbing. The shower fixture valves were not set at the correct depth causing the fixtures to stick out. we found this out after they completed tiling, but luckily they were able to go from the closet wall in the back. Upon inspection, they used zip ties to support the valves. NOT OK. We told them to use metal straps, when they said "oh that was just temporary," still not sure if this support is ok. Also, they scratched our brand new fixtures during install!! They're replacing it. But still, ugh.
   
5. Asbestos. I'm very concerned that when they cut our vent to make it larger, they exposed asbestos. I'm planning to hire a remediation company to come take a look after they finish with our space. Of course get it tested first. This is a big concern for me.
   
6. Other minor things we will be asking them to fix: bathroom fan seems to be wired incorrectly/blowing air out and not in, they will fix. Pocket door guide not installed yet. Door lock is crooked (but whatever it works). Some hardwood flooring is chipped outside our bathroom (not sure if they can fix this?!). I feel like there's more but I'll just let this go, they're willing to do all these fixes.
   
7. The contractor who is the owner of the business hasn't been around since week 2 of the project when he told us he'd be here every day. This resulted in us doing all this QA/QC work. We have about 15% or 20% left in payment and we don't know what to do. Obviously won't pay them until they're done with the work but we didn't hold back enough to have others redo the work. The subcontractors who are here are redoing all the fixing/rework per our request but this would've probably be swept under the rug if we hadn't noticed or brought these issues up. Plus, we are so tired... And it's our only bathroom. We've had to rely on our friend for over a month. This is just me venting at this point, it's been stressful.
   

Ok this is likely going to be a long post so please bare with me but I so feel context is important... Tldr at the bottom.
I (31F) have been married to my husband (33M) for 5.5 years. We met February 2013, he moved into the house I owned three months later. We sold my house and bought one together using the funds from the sale of my house in June 2014, he proposed in July 2014 and we were married in June 2015. When we were living in my house everything was literally amazing, we did everything together and had so much fun, we went out to dinner randomly and did projects and classes. We never fought.
Around the time we got engaged (not sure if it was after getting the house or after the proposal) things started to change. He never seemed to want to spend time together and everything single thing was a fight down to picking out a light fixture. I would give him several options I liked and he hated them all but never came up with anything himself when I asked what he did want. This became the general pattern for everything. He hated and complained about what I liked or wanted but never gave me any options in return (which I would have been more than happy to seriously consider). He started hating my hobbies like antiques and diy stuff which he seemed to like before. As for the wedding he argued over everything and hated spending any money, regardless of the fact that I literally scoured hours to find the cheapest options and he had no options to offer. He started complaining every time I spent money on anything, even if was my own money. I started becoming concerned about this and second guessing getting married but attributed it to wedding/new home stress and figured things would eventually go back to normal.
For our wedding I also went on a diet and dropped from 125 lbs (size 6) to 90lbs. He would praise me when the scale went down and react negatively with any increase. He encouraged me to eat less and less and would tell me how sexy I was as I lost weight. I developed an eating disorder and by the time of the wedding I would get mad at myself for eating an apple with peanut butter as the only thing I ate in a day. After the wedding when we got our pictures back I realized how skinny and sickly I looked (size zero pants were becoming too baggy on me). I remember eating two pints of Ben and jerry's in about two weeks because I saw their ad and hadn't had any in about a year. I hid the cartons from him because I was afraid of how he would react. Well he found them and got pissed and started yelling about how I was just going to get fat now that I was married because that's what women do. I wound up gaining a bit over time and evening out around 100lbs.
When we had been married a bit I asked him about children. I have fertility issues and my time was running out of I wanted to have kids plus being adopted I knew how long that process takes if it turned out we couldn't. I honestly thought it would take at least a year before I would get pregnant. Early in dating after a surgery on my ovaries I had told him children were important to me and if he was not on board with my timeline that was fine but because of my medical issues I wanted to have two children relatively soon so don't waste my time. He said he was absolutely on board and wanted to have two children and have had kids by the time he was 30. when I brought it up though after getting married he kept pushing it off. Finally he agreed and at about 8 months after the wedding we started trying. I miraculously got pregnant with my daughter after two months and had her 6 months before his 30th birthday. She also unfortunately was diagnosed with a severe heart defect that landed her in and out of the hospital and across the country for treatment for the first 6 months of her life. He became resentful that we had her 6 months earlier than he wanted and he hated having to do anything for her. He stated that he hates the baby stage and her medical issues compounded everything.
When my daughter was born is when things started getting really bad for us. He came to see her in the NICU for a few hours every weekend and would spend most of the time on his phone. I was rooming in with her so I was caring for her around the clock. Once we came home he took two weeks of paternity leave even though he could have taken more and promised to take more (but it would be unpaid so he didn't want to even though we had plenty of savings and it was completely financially doable). When he was on leave he spent the entire time doing contract work and I had to beg him for help. I rarely got to eat or shower and getting him to take her for those was like pulling teeth. She was colicky and only wanted to be held and was on oxygen so it was a very rough time. He refused to wake up at night to help me even though I had to pump and bottle feed her because we needed to fortify her milk. He would get so upset when I asked for help that I finally gave up and just did it all myself. I was getting maybe a few hours of sleep a night. We fought constantly about it with me begging and clawing for more help. I was never able to get him to take our daughter for even an hour at a time.
When it got closer to her surgery date we relocated to California for a few months so we could be prepared if she went downhill fast. Those two months were absolutely hell for me. I had no help. I had to shower with her and work remotely while holding her. I asked him for a bit of time every day to shower and eat and it was always a fight so I figured it out. He complained constantly about my weight (I was very stressed and stayed at about 130-135lbs) and what I ate. I remember him getting so mad about me eating a peanut butter sandwich (I didn't have anything else to eat because I needed to go shopping and the Ronald McDonald house supplied a few things for free including peanut butter - by the way they are AMAZING 🙌) that he started yelling about me being overweight and sending me nasty texts.
He was stressed, we both were but his behavior was completely abusive and terrible. I hated my life. After the peanut butter incident I called my parents and they helped me begin to find a lawyer for divorce. My decision was finalized after my daughter's surgery when she was inpatient and not gaining weight well and going through withdrawal from the medications she was on. The nurse told me to make sure I eat a lot of calories so we could increase her weight because otherwise she wouldn't be able to leave the hospital for a while. I took her suggestion to heart and had three large meals daily. My husband saw one of my meals (bacon, eggs, oatmeal, peanut butter toast, sausage and fruit I think) and absolutely flipped. He just walked out of the room and started angrily texting me about how I shouldn't eat three meals a day or I would gain weight etc etc.
When we got home I talked with the lawyer in secret to discuss my options. I got everything together and left with my daughter to my parents house after Christmas and told him I wanted a divorce. He begged and pleaded but I remained firm. He wound up going to therapy, going to abuse counciling, getting on meds, etc. It seemed like he really was trying to change and he did. I wound up apprehensively moving back in. He asked me to renew our vows and life continued. Things were never really the same with us though. I had become calloused towards him and things just felt different.
He wound up helping more with my daughter and things started looking promising. We were becoming a happy family and things were looking up. He was becoming a much better father to our daughter and it was nice to see. Unfortunately I was running out of time reproductively and we had a deadline for conception to time ages with my daughters next heart surgery so I brought up having a second child. I had always wanted at least two children. I told him though that this time I wanted him on board and I did not want him to agree unless he really was going to be a partner. He agreed, perhaps a little reluctantly but I stressed over and over that I didn't want him to agree unless he was ready. We began trying for another child and 13 months, a miscarriage, three months of fertility treatment and the loss of my son's twin, we finally conceived and carried our next miracle, my son.
As soon as I got pregnant and started showing my husband's old habits of negativity returned. He would comment about my size and started becoming controlling again with food and money. He started having me tell him every single purchase so he could "budget" and severely restricted my spending, even on food and we were making plenty. He wanted to put in a pool and a pool house/office that he could work and sleep in before my son was born. The pool house cost about $45k and it is all his along with his two $3500 tvs, robotic desk, sound system etc. He spends most of the day and the night out there.
I did everything I could to reduce costs so we could afford the pool house but he would get mad at me spending $100 on food or $100 on clothes for the kids when they needed warmer or larger clothes (nothing crazy, talking walmart $3 pants and shirts etc). After everything was paid for he agreed to give me a set allowance a month to do with what I want to make up for the fact that he just spent nearly 50k on himself. That amount has since been cut in half and he now takes three times as much extra towards his car payment. Even still when I do but anything he always criticizes it and complains and fights about it, especially when it is something that I'm doing to help someone else out like my half brother or a kids toy drive. I have started hiding purchases which I know isn't really ok but I just couldn't take the fights and negativity anymore over everything I bought.
With the pandemic I also fought and fought for more time to work (was an hour a day of his help and now I get approximately 4.5 hours on week days and 3 on weekends). I feel like I'm on him and complaining ALL THE TIME about this. I also fight with him about how he spends his time with the kids since his first go to is to sit them in front of the TV while he does chores. I know I should just let him do his own thing with the kids but he has them for so little time I want him to actually spend time with them and I don't really want them on screens all the time. I'm also grateful he does do the chores but I have the kids alone almost 20 hours a day so I feel like they could be done another time. Don't get me wrong I appreciate the help I do get from him and I absolutely couldn't do it alone.
I feel like I complain and fight with him non stop about things that I think are valid concerns but like tonight we fought because he found out about a purchase I made without consulting him and I tried explaining why I did it and because I'm tired of fighting for everything I want and needing his "permission". Then he says things like "so what do you want me to do because it sounds like I'm a complete failure". Maybe I complain too much. There is still a lot of resentment and hurt and lack of trust in my end and he has proven me correct many times but I need a sanity check that I'm not turning into the very abuser that I fought so hard against. For reference here are some of my other top complaints:

• making comments about me eating cookies or treats or bread or how much I eat
• him being negative about the kids like when he says "it's like having guests that you just want to leave but they never do because they live here" (it would be nice to have a partner that is happy and excited about being a parent at least some of the time)
• fighting for anything i want or need to buy even if it was agreed upon
• "innocent" comments or questions like asking repeatedly even after being told no whether I would use some ass master work out thing
• the near constant comments about exercising
• the almost constant negativity and bad mood
• wanting me to get my iud removed because I have been bleeding since and am bloated even though it completely stopped my almost daily pain
• making comments about how I'm dressed, especially if it's comfortable or loose clothes and calling me grandma
• making comments about me not showering until the end of the day if I don't have time because of the kids

However I won't pretend to be perfect. I'm concerned because of the following things I do:

• hide purchases
• hide food containers
• sneak food
• complain or argue about the above types of things
• etc

Am I turning into the very thing I hate? I will take and judgement or advice to heart. I need this sanity check and if it is true then I will make changes because I definitely don't want to be like that.
TL;DR: I'm concerned that I am becoming abusive towards my husband as a response to his negative actions.

This might just be a testament to how nasty I am as a human, or maybe I’m not the only one and I’ll help someone out.
So my right cheek has had horrible acne for a couple of months. JUST the right one. The rest of my face is clear aside from the occasional breakout. Why? Was it because I sleep on my right side? That’s what I thought for the longest time and always kept up with changing out my pillowcases, but I still broke out. I could not pinpoint the cause. What was I doing to my right cheek that I was not doing to the rest of my face?
WELL I figured it out. I wash my hands after I pee and before I brush my teeth. I brush my teeth before I do my face routine because I want to make sure my face routine removes any toothpaste that might drip around my mouth. When I brush my teeth, I hold my toothbrush with my right hand. I use my right hand to put products on my right cheek, and my left hand to put products on my left cheek. Turns out, the handle of my toothbrush is kinda disgusting.
I have one of those little ceramic cups that I hold my toothbrush in. I got this particular one a couple months ago. Turns out that that cup has been filling with a little bit of rinsed-toothbrush water every time I brush my teeth. Apparently it’s been dripping down the handle of the brush and into the cup. That water, of course, has remnants from my mouth in it. So my toothbrush handle basically soaks in this cess pool all day every day. I haven’t noticed the handle being wet because my hands are usually still wet from washing them after I pee. I haven’t noticed the water inside the cup because it’s not see-through and I just don’t look down into the cup. Until about a week and a half ago, when I decided to clean this particular countertop fixture and discovered the cess pit.
So basically, I’ve been rubbing mouth bacteria into my cheek every morning and every night. Lovely. Since then, Ive done my face routine BEFORE brushing my teeth, and I also got a new toothbrush and a new holder that is not a cup. Guess what? Right cheek is clearing up. All of the cysts are practically gone. Because I’m slightly less of a nasty bitch.
So now that I’ve grossed everyone out, go check your toothbrush holders if you haven’t done so in a while. Probably you have, but maybe some of you are nasty like me.

<-- Previous thread

Overall summary

Name	Club	Apps: starts (from the bench)	Minutes played	Goals	Assists	Clean sheets (GK only)	Note
Matej Kovar	Swindon Town (League One)	21 (0)	1890	0	0	1	Loan ended: recalled back to Man Utd
Joel Pereira	Huddersfield Town (Championship)	1 (0)	90	0	0	0
Jacob Carney	Brighouse Town (Northern Premier League)	4 (0)	360	0	0	1	All fixtures currently suspended due to national lockdown
Max Taylor	Kidderminster Harriers (National League North)	10 (0)	841	1	0	-
Di'Shon Bernard	Salford City (League Two)	12 (1)	1142	2	2	-
Diogo Dalot	AC Milan (Serie A)	9 (4)	867	1	1	-
Ethan Laird	MK Dons (League One)	0 (1)	63	0	0	-
James Garner	Watford (Championship)	13 (7)	1234	0	1	-
Dylan Levitt	Charlton Athletic (League One)	5 (0)	386	0	0	-	Loan ended: recalled back to Man Utd
Aliou Traore	SM Caen (Ligue 2)	3 (8)	389	0	0	-
Andreas Pereira	SS Lazio (Serie A)	2 (14)	419	1	0	-
Max Haygarth	Brentford B (-)	7 (4)	628	3	0	-	Loan ended: moved to Brentford on a permanent deal
Tahith Chong	Werder Bremen (Bundesliga)	5 (10)	534	1	2	-
Amad Diallo	Atalanta (Serie A)	0 (2)	41	0	0	-	Permanent deal to join Manchester United

Max Haygarth (Brentford B)

Max completed a permanent move to Brentford B on a contract until June 2022 with an option of a further year. I wish him all the best for the future!
Neil MacFarlane (Brentford B Head Coach): “We’re delighted that Max will be signing with us permanently. He has come in and made a real impression on the group, with his attitude and his quality on a daily basis. Max was highly thought of at Manchester United and he has had a fantastic football education having come through the ranks there.
Since he has come to us it’s been our job to try and improve him and, hopefully, he can get to the levels where he can compete to train and then play for the First Team, as we saw when he made his debut against Nottingham Forest.
It’s been a quick rise, but it comes down to the fact that he’s really bought into what we are as a B Team and who we are as a Football Club. He has really good quality at the top end of the pitch, and of course, there is still a long way to go in terms of his development, but he’s already made steps which he can be really proud of. There’s much more to come from him and he has the potential to really kick on in his career.”

Matej Kovar (Swindon Town)

Matej has been recalled by Manchester United.
Matej Kovar on his Instagram: "My time came earlier than I thought. And personally I think this is best way for both sides. I know I didn't show the quality what I'm capable of but i'll take it as a big lesson from which i'll learn. Now is time for my to put my head down and work hard to make sure i'll be ready for next challenge. Thank you very much Swindon and wish you all the best for rest of the season."

Dylan Levitt (Charlton Athletic)

Dylan has been recalled by Manchester United.
Lee Bowyer (Charlton Athletic manager): “Dylan is a professional lad and a very talented footballer. I'd like to thank Nicky Butt and Manchester United for allowing us to bring in Dylan on loan. He worked hard during his time here and we wish him the best for the future."
Dylan Levitt on his Twitter: "I’d like to thank the club for the opportunity and wish the club all the best for the rest of the season"
Jonathan Shrager: "Both QPR and Portsmouth like Levitt, but in terms of going out on loan again for the second half of the season, Dylan will assess after a couple of weeks back at #MUFC, and a couple of U23 games. He is very keen to go to the Euros with Wales in the summer, so it is a big decision"

Ethan Laird (MK Dons)

Ethan got loaned to MK Dons until the end of the season. Came on from the bench to make his debut and played 63 minutes in 1:1 (3:4 after penalties) loss against Burnley in FA Cup.
Selected highlights:
Brilliant run with the ball
Every touch
WhoScored.com rating: 6.6/10 (team average: 6.85)
Stats:
Shots: 0
Possession: 0.7%
Touches: 34
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 6/8 (75%)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles won/Dribbles attempted (success %): 2/5 (40%)
Dribbled past: 1
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 4/9 (44%) (joint 2nd most aerials won for MK Dons)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 1/2 (50%)
Clearances: 3
Interceptions: 0
Dispossessed: 1
Errors: 0
Fouls: 0
Offsides: 1
Ethan Laird: “I'm buzzing to get started, the manager has shown a lot of faith in me and what I can do for the team, and that’s all I could ask for - it’s now up to me show why he was right to choose me. I need to work my way into the team and get to know the lads, but I want to make as much of an impact as I can while I’m here. That’s something I’ll always hold myself too - how can I affect my teammates and the Club in a positive way. This is the perfect place for me to continue developing, with the way the team play. They are aggressive, they like to get in behind and they leave it all out on the pitch and that's my idea of football. I believe in the manager’s idea of the way we play and I want to make sure that I can help make that happen. I know we can achieve good things if we stick to the manager's beliefs and implement them on the pitch. In terms of who I am - I'm quick, I like to dribble with the ball and I'm always looking to get in behind and put in crosses. I have bundles of energy and I'll be looking to put that to good use!"
Russell Martin (MK Dons manager): "Ethan is someone with real quality and we’re really pleased to be able to bring him in. He’s chosen to come here over a number of options, which is brilliant for us. He’s very explosive but with lots of quality on the ball and he can play in a couple of positions in defence or further forward, which gives us some more versatility. He’s really highly thought of at Man United and we are very grateful to them for allowing us the opportunity to work with him. We’re looking forward to that opportunity and hopefully, he’ll come in and add something to the group.”
Toby Lock (MK Citizen reporter) after game vs Burnley: "7.5/10. A great start to life at MK Dons with an energetic and promising performance off the bench."
Russell Martin (MK Dons manager) after game vs Burnley: "Yeah, [he brings] power, athleticism. We've done obviously a very little work with him, because he's only been here for a day, he came here yesterday. He's brought in a real enthusiasm, real energy as a character - which I really, really like. You could see today what he's gonna bring us, especially when we are gonna get him up to the speed. He's not played for a good few weeks, so I have to be patient with him. He's gonna really, really add to the group, so I'm really pleased with that signing. And you know, the competition. He adds the competition, because I thought Regan Poole was really, really excellent tonight. So yeah, it's really, really good for us, a good addition."
Fans' opinion:
“Laird looks quality.” ~keyser soze on The Concrete Roundabout Forum
“Looked good but needs his fitness to improve but understandable given his injuries" ~@mark_l04 on Twitter
“Was decent, see what United fans mean by him being rapid” ~@chxrlier17 * on *Twitter
“When Ethan Laird is up to speed with our style and exactly what Russ wants him to do, can see him being some player for us.” ~@DonsDan13 on Twitter
“Considering he has not trained with us he has looked very good” ~@junglecad on Twitter

Di'Shon Bernard (Salford City)

Played 90 minutes and scored a goal in 1:2 loss against Mansfield Town in League Two.
Selected highlights:
Goal scored
Good block on a shot that was potentially going in
WhoScored.com rating: 7.7/10 (team average: 6.42) (best rating for Salford City)
Stats:
Shots (on target): 2 (1)
Hit woodwork: 1
Possession: 7.3% (most possession on the pitch)
Touches: 92 (most touches on the pitch)
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 35/62 (56%)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 1
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 3/5 (60%) (joint most aerials won for Salford City)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 3/4 (75%) (joint most tackles won for Salford City)
Clearances: 3 (joint 2nd most clearances for Salford City)
Interceptions: 3 (2nd most interceptions for Salford City)
Dispossessed: 3
Errors: 0
Fouls: 0
Offsides: 0
Charlie Gregory (MEN Sports reporter): "No news yet [over the future of Bernard]. He’s been impressive for Salford - no hiding that Richie’s an admirer and will want him for the remainder of the season. Remains to be seen what Utd will want to do."
Fans' opinion:
“Only Hladky, Bernard and Hunter look better than ordinary.” ~bronco123 on Salford City FC "Red Ammies" Fans Forum

Max Taylor (Kidderminster Harriers)

Was not selected in matchday squad in 2:2 draw against York City in National League North. Was unused substitute in 2:3 loss against Gloucester City in National League North.

Aliou Traore (SM Caen)

Played 90 minutes in 1:1 draw against AJ Auxerre in Ligue 2.
SofaScore rating: 6.5/10 (team average: 6.85)
Stats:
Shots: 0
Touches: 39
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 20/25 (80%)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles won/Dribbles attempted (success %): 1/2 (50%)
Dribbled past: 1
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 0/3 (0%)
Tackles: 0
Clearances: 2
Interceptions: 2
Fouls: 2
Offsides: 0
Fans' opinion:
“4/10. Made 2 or 3 penetrating passes but not enough” ~@Tipunch11 on Twitter

Andreas Pereira (SS Lazio)

Was unused substitute in 2:1 win against Fiorentina in Serie A. Came on from the bench and played 23 minutes in 2:0 win against Parma in Serie A.
WhoScored.com rating: 6.3/10 (team average: 7.16)
Stats:
Shots (on target): 1 (0)
Possession: 1.1%
Touches: 14
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 9/10 (90%)
Key passes: 2 (joint 2nd most for Lazio)
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 1
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 0/1 (0%)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 0/1 (0%)
Clearances: 0
Interceptions: 0
Corners (accurate %): 2 (100%)
Dispossessed: 0
Errors: 0
Fouls: 0
Offsides: 0
Simone Inzaghi (Lazio manager after game vs Fiorentina): "Andreas Pereira would have liked to make his contribution against Fiorentina, but I'm very satisfied with him. The Brazilian is integrating, even if it is difficult to find space. Andreas is still sending out very good signals."
Fans' opinion:
“He's one of those rare players who always gives the impression that he can do something decisive at any moment. It's a pity that our midfield is already crowded with strong and hardly expendable players like SMS and LA. But he should be playing more. Much more than what little he is playing.” ~Mocambo on Lazio.net forum
“According to me he is the perfect alternative to create a game in case Luis Alberto is absent. He is wasted up front and doesn't have the movements of a forward (but not a second forward either).” ~Inzaghino87 on Lazio.net forum
“He's a fantastic player, I'm very fond of him, I think he's going to be very good over time, an important player. I like the way he plays, he's fast, technically impressive and knows how to do everything on the pitch, I'd really like to keep him at all costs.” ~marco87 on Lazio.net forum
“Quality of a proper player. In the last few minutes he was dribbling with ease. We need more Pereira. One of those born with the ball at his feet.” ~FedericoPrati on Lazio.net forum
“This time with 10 minutes more than usual he made a shot, gave a crazy ball to Immobile, and helped the team by keeping the ball. Good performance.” ~simcar on Lazio.net forum

Diogo Dalot (AC Milan)

Played 81 minutes in 1:3 loss against Juventus in Serie A. Came on from the bench, got a yellow card and played 40 minutes in 2:0 win against Torino in Serie A.
WhoScored.com rating vs Juventus: 6.5/10 (team average: 6.45)
Stats vs Juventus:
Shots (on target): 1 (1)
Possession: 3.7%
Touches: 58
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 27/32 (84%)
Key passes: 1
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 2
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 1/1 (100%)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 1/3 (33%)
Clearances: 3 (2nd most clearances for AC Milan)
Interceptions: 2 (joint 2nd most interceptions for AC Milan)
Dispossessed: 0
Errors: 0
Fouls: 0
Offsides: 0
Fans' opinion after game vs Juventus:
“Lastly, I was happy to see Dalot improve. He has a long, long way to go but he wasn’t overwhelmed by Ronaldo and even had a shot at goal.” ~forza_rossoneri on /ACMilan
“We now know Dalot is big time, and can shut down Ronaldo.” ~jpanuccio2996 on /ACMilan
“-#Dalot to date can neither defend nor attack;” ~@NSipari on Twitter
“Dalot is practically useless. He doesn't cross, he doesn't jump, he isn't fast, he can't defend.” ~Posterdati on AC Milan Forum
“I thought Dalot did an admirable job today with a very tough task ahead of him.” ~Milan10 on Forum AC Milan Online
WhoScored.com rating vs Torino: 5.8/10 (team average: 6.9) (joint worst rating on the pitch)
Stats vs Torino:
Shots: 0
Possession: 2.8%
Touches: 31
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 24/25 (96%) (best passing success for AC Milan)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 0
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 0/1 (0%)
Tackles: 0
Clearances: 0
Interceptions: 1
Dispossessed: 1
Errors: 1
Fouls: 2
Offsides: 0
Fans' opinion after game vs Torino:
“Every now and then he facilitates the ball out with remarkable ball distribution, you can't deny him all-round technique. But if he shuts his brain down like he did, he is trivially unreliable.” ~Djerry on Milan World Forum
“He certainly has a good foot, but nothing else. otherwise he's a very average full-back. we can find at least 10 better ones in italy” ~Posterdati on AC Milan Forum
“#Dalot 5/10 replaces the injured Tonali and gets himself cautioned after a few minutes. Tactically he takes Calabria's place and the hint of lack of confidence is visible” ~@RedellePagelle on Twitter
“I wouldn't say Dalot was poor. He didn't make any mistakes and actually dynamized the right flank” ~Omfier on /ACMilan
“Dalot is a good passer, I'd like to try him as emergency mid rather than Calabria.” ~Samaldinho on Forum AC Milan-Online

Tahith Chong (Werder Bremen)

Played 60 minutes in 1:1 draw against Bayer Leverkusen in Bundesliga.
WhoScored.com rating: 6.5/10 (team average: 6.59)
Stats:
Shots: 0
Possession: 1.3% (least possession on the pitch)
Touches: 21 (least touches on the pitch)
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 6/12 (50%) (least passes on the pitch, 2nd worst passing accuracy on the pitch)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 0
Aerials: 0
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 1/1 (100%)
Clearances: 0
Interceptions: 2
Dispossessed: 1
Errors: 0
Fouls: 2
Offsides: 0
Florian Kohfeldt (Werder Bremen manager) before game vs Bayer Leverkusen: "Tahith Chong has earned a start based on his strong performances in training and in games. We're going to need his speed today."
Björn Knips (Deich Stube writer after game vs Bayer Leverkusen): "That was not Bundesliga level. Lost almost every ball, bounced off the opponents and ruined the few good sequences with wrong decisions. At least the commitment was right."
Fans' opinion:
“some of the situations he messes up wouldn't have happened at all without his speed... I think he just lacks practice.” ~Gertrud Schlorke on Worum.org
“Very weak performance. I was expecting a substitution at half-time.” ~Bayernschreck on Worum.org
“I wouldn't fundamentally condemn the transfer, but a loan for a year without a buy-out is of course not ideal for either side. If he were a young player in his own right, I would have a good imagination, but I would never want to pay a transfer fee for him at the moment.” ~Bibo on Worum.org
“He is simply not strong enough to fight and his passing game is insufficient. At the moment, he''s not good enough at the back and up front.” ~Servus on Worum.org
“If he doesn't improve significantly, he won't have much fun in Machester.” ~Christian on Worum.org

Joel Pereira (Huddersfield Town)

Was not selected in matchday squad in 2:3 loss against Plymouth Argyle in FA Cup.

James Garner (Watford)

Was not selected in matchday squad due to loan rules in 0:1 loss against Manchester United in FA Cup.

Next up

January 11th:
At 7:45 PM Traore's SM Caen plays Toulouse in Ligue 2.
January 12th:
At 7 PM Bernard's Salford City plays Scunthorpe United in League Two.
At 7:45 PM Dalot's AC Milan plays Torino in Coppa Italia. Laird's MK Dons play Northampton Town in EFL Trophy - Play Offs.
January 15th:
At 7:45 PM Andreas' SS Lazio plays AS Roma in Serie A.
January 16th:
At 2:30 PM Chong's Werder Bremen play Augsburg in the Bundesliga.
At 3 PM Garner's Watford plays Joel's Huddersfield Town in the Championship. Laird's MK Dons play Peterborough United in League One. Bernard's Salford City plays Newport County in League Two. Taylor's Kidderminster Harriers play Spennymoor in National League North.
At 6 PM Traore's SM Caen plays AC Ajaccio in Ligue 2.
^{*All times are GMT.}

So what is the automation beam championship? It is a weekly challenge where you get to build, design and drive your own autoamation creations in beamng, trying to build the best car possible! Here is the first round of the new season. To join, here is our discord server link: https://discord.gg/QVq6Jbe
​
Early 00’s Shed Supercars
Deadline for .car file and pictures is this Sunday 10pm UTC.
Deadline for recorded laps is this Monday 10pm UTC.

Championship Rules

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l3M_cynLT1i0G2XTl81OvZgKzv1dF9Mv-PlAGaxM7UA/edit?usp=sharing
Some new rules here, please read this over.

Background to the Round

Imagine this: you’re in England (well you could be elsewhere but England is objectively the best place for crazy shed supercars that do not work) in 2001 and your name is Kent or Hugh or whatever. You want your small sports car manufacturing team of five people (three of which are called Gary) to make a supercar. But, the thing is, you’ve only got 30 grand, and half a university degree between the five of you. But, Gary 2 has once made a fibreglass swimming pool in his neighbours garden, so he knows his way around some rollers and a bit of glue. So, you grab a bunch of cool and hip performance parts from other major manufacturers (without telling them of course) and shove them between a few pipes, and there you go! Your shed supercar is done. No need for any fancy engineering like the big supercar makers. ABS? TC? Monocoque chassis? What are those weird things? Now, let’s hope it works and does not catch fire, or fall apart…. Or kill you.

Aesthetics Brief

For every round we want you to vote for the cars between 1 - 10. Please take into account the creativity of the build. In this way we can assure that people don’t always vote for the boring but good looking cars, but creativity is also considered for the builds.
For example, you could ask yourself these questions:

1. Does it fit the round? I.e. does the car fit the brief below?
2. Is it a quality build? Is the level of detailing and fixture work impressive?
3. Do I like how it looks? This final question is where personal taste comes in

For this round we’re looking for a simple formula: cool looks (make sure it does not look too high-end! We’re working with 30k here), cool sound and some performance.
Dodge Viper Noble M15 TVR Sagaris Corvette C5

Scoring for the Round

1. Fastest recorded beamng time trial lap time on West Coast USA Long Race Circuit 1 by the team’s driver(s)
2. Automation scores calculation

• Track Market (Frunia)
• Trim Engineering Time
• P/W Ratio

1. The aesthetics vote - each team should submit 2 pictures of their car for aesthetics voting

Automation Rules

Full Car (Applies to trim and engine, ET/PU taken from here)

• Car trim yeaengine variant year - Must be between 2001 - 2006
• Wheelbase - Min 2.25m/88.6in
• Sliders - Between -3 to 3
• Price - Max $30,000
• Engineering time - Max 115 (Full car)
• Markets - Must have at least 100 in Track market (Frunia)

Trim

• Drive type - Must be RWD
• Tyre choice - No semi-slicks
• Pad type - Maximum 80
• Wings - Max 1
• Spoilers + lips - Max 4 (together)
• Seats - Min 2 full size
• Interior - Must be sport

Engine

• Engine stress - Max 5%
• VVL/VVT - Must be none
• Turbo - Must be none
• Fuel type - No Super 98 RON/Ultimate 100 RON
• Catalytic converter - Must have

To join this competition, join our discord server here!
https://discord.gg/QVq6Jbe

I posted about this here a couple weeks ago, but since then I've disassembled this old fixture and discovered how it works.
I have an 1860-built home in the northeast US. There's a 1st floor bathroom that was added at some point after the house was built, and there was no way for them to tie in to a vent, so they added this auto-vent to allow venting for both the toilet and the sink. I'm guessing it was added some time before the 1940s.
It has recently started to smell bad in the bathroom, and I suspect it's this autovent. I took it apart to see if I could find the problem, and I discovered how it works - a valve (shaped like an upside down wine glass) lifts up to allow air intake, and then drops into a pool of mercury to seal off any sewer gasses. See this video of the inner workings.
I added some plumber's grease to the shaft in case it's getting stuck in the up position, but I actually suspect it's the O-ring that's to blame. It has deteriorated pretty badly. I'm trying to find a good replacement. But it could also possibly be the mercury level. Mercury does evaporate, very slowly, at room temperature. I wonder if I just need to add some mercury to replentish whatever has been lost over the last 80+ years.
Does anyone have any experience with this fixture? any other advice I should follow?

I suffered from sleep paralysis for most of my adult life, but it never ceased to amaze me at how terrifying it was each time an episode struck. It started in late teens and had been a fixture in my life since then. It occurred multiple times per week.
You think you’d grow accustomed to the feeling after suffering from it for so long, but that’s not the case. Every time it happens feels like the first time and the first time felt like hell in the dark. You wake up and are unable to move, speak, and sometimes not even blink. That’s how it started for me, just the inability to move. I thought something was wrong with me and although I scheduled appointments and sleep studies after begging my parents to help me figure out what was going on, they determined that it was all in my head. My waking and dreaming state were at war with one another and the switch from dreaming to waking wasn’t working the way it should’ve been.
It evolved from the normal paralysis over time, especially if I left the hallway light. I hated my bedroom doorway at night with that light on. It was like it fed my disorder. I would wake sometime in the night, not sure if I was actually awake or just imagining that I was. I couldn’t trust my senses, but I would swear that there would be someone standing in my doorway. I couldn’t see their features, just their silhouette cast into my room from the light. I thought my heart would give out the first time that it happened. I struggled to move, tried to will a scream from deep within me but I could only watch as it stood there watching me in bed. It didn’t move, it just stood rigid, looming as the hall light cascaded around it.
It worsened as the years past and although I knew that it was just a figment of my imagination, something caught between my sleep cycle and reality, I still feared it. I feared the inability to defend myself from the unknown creatures that are only seen by those who are visited by them.
When I first began dating the woman who would become my wife, I resisted sleeping over at each other’s house for the longest time because I was afraid of showing her my vulnerability to my condition. I didn’t want to feel weak or have her think that there was something wrong inside my mind, something hiding below the surface waiting to erupt. She understood when I finally explained how I’d been afflicted with this curse. She told me she’d always be right beside me in bed, making sure that I was safe from whatever crept through the darkness of my mind.
I discovered over time that during these events, if I focused my thoughts on moving my right hand, I was able to tap it just hard enough to wake her up. It was exhausting to do, but I slowly grew more and more adept at moving waking her in this fashion. That was when the creature started getting closer.
It would start with a few steps forward into the bedroom before I could wake her by tapping my hand against her thigh, waking her before it could reach us lying in the bed. It just felt so real; I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling for the rest of the day when it would happen. I started staying up later and later, fighting the urge to sleep so as to avoid seeing the creature get closer and closer, afraid of what it might do if it were able to reach me.
My wife was worried about me, my sunken in eyes and my nodding off during the day convinced her that something might be wrong with me, but after a battery of doctor visits and sleep tests, there were no signs of anything that could be causing the episodes other than my imagination. She couldn’t understand why my brain wanted to destroy it’s own ability to rest, but she was still supportive of me in my struggle.
If only she would’ve said she couldn’t handle my almost nightly screams, constantly waking to my fear, things would have turned out much differently than they had. I wouldn’t be where I am.
Nobody believes me, even though my medical history supports me. Nobody thinks that what happened was real, that I’m just out of my mind.
My wife suggested I try melatonin to get control of my sleep habits and not wanting to turn her ideas down and secretly hoping that anything would work, I relented and agreed to the attempt. I should’ve known better. I should have realized that it would only make things worse.
The melatonin put me to sleep just fine, but when I woke in the night, I realized that my wife must have left the hallway light on during one of her trips to the bathroom. The creature was standing there in the doorway, watching us.
I began trying to move my hand, praying that I could get it to move, but nothing would work. I was still too far into my dream state for it; the melatonin had done its job. The monstrous shadow lurked closer in slow steps, it seemed like it moved in slow motion or time lapse. I feared what it may do to me; I didn’t want it to hurt me.
It stood near the bed, an abyss of black, as if it were made out of the very fabric of space and no light could escape from the black hole that was its face. I was screaming inside my mind, begging my hand to move, to wake her up, to escape from this nightmare.
My wife never saw it coming. She never saw the creature slowly raise it’s fists in the air, and never felt the panic before it began pummeling her over and over against the bed with sick, deafening blows to her head. She screamed, God, did she scream. She begged for help, she begged for me, she cried my name, but I could only watch as the creature beat her mercilessly until the screams stopped and the blows stopped sounding solid and more like wet thuds, like boots stuck in mud. When it had finished, the creature leaned over the bed, over my face and then stood and walked from the room much faster than it had entered.
I lay there for hours beside my wife as her blood soaked into the bed around me, I could feel it pooling under me but I was still unable to move. I could shift my eyes enough to see her gorgeous blonde hair was soaked in blood, staining it an ugly pink. I could see pieces of her skull stuck in the strands.
Nobody would believe me. Everyone thought I had just snapped and beaten her to death, but I know the truth. These prison walls hold an innocent man, one that still sees the creature lurking outside of his cell, watching and waiting. I fight sleep and trade cigarettes for amphetamines to keep the exhaustion at bay. My cell mate says that I need to man up, that I’m just being irrational and I needed to come to terms with killing my wife, but he doesn’t see the things that I see. He doesn’t see the creature looking at him from just outside the door, just biding its time until it can reach him.