History of the Cosmopolian hotel & Casino

Lately the extreme leftist Armenians (usually whitewashed, Westernized or NGO shills) engaged an attempt to rewrite and redefine on what Armenian traditional family life means. This is mostly consisted of cheap misrepresentations and presenting the worst examples as being the main drive of our traditional family life - which actually in reality proves to be more stable, lovely and meaningful than the current Western family life that mostly got deconstructed by the academic, cultural and media influences of Cultural Marxism, harmful parts of capitalism/hypermaterialism/consumerism, feminism and egocentrism/hedonism that replaced any sense of belonging and higher transcendent ethnic goals.
Problem with "liberalism" is that it gives people the illusion of choice while this "choice" is mostly decided by the dominant corporates and globalist powerstructures that give the mass selective ideas of "freedom" (through controlled/conformistic ideas that are pushed by their institutions of education, artificial mass-cultures & media). Most people rather let others think for thems & follow their lusts.Thats why any administration that loves the well being of it's own people needs to have a defense-mechanism against external threats & subversive elements that damage the cultural and religious values of your nation (which are essential for the continuation of your ethnic group). It was evident that Armenians were easy to manipulate in 2018 by the effective Western ideologic imperialism and didnt understand the socio-cultural harmful parts of "liberalism" (especially for a country like Armenia that can't afford to be weakened and fragmentized).Western "liberalism" also gives room for other influential parties to spread degeneracy among your people (this happend to Armenia with all these Soros lackeys infiltrating in our government). We cant let the current globalist օտարամոլ traitors of Nikols party rule us any longer. You can also clearly see the negative results of "liberalism" in our diasporan communities where many of our young Armenians are alienated from our traditional culture & rather LARP the values & ideologies of white liberals. Many of them have severe identity-crisises due to this & then call your culture "outdated", "bigoted" & "archaic" for the sole reason that it doesnt represent their "progressive" standards. Liberals and fake neo-conservatists are the true colonizers of the modern world, while the most European nationalists just want their own space. There are many examthes in this document on why certain Western liberal doctrines should be rejected in order to protect the moral and cultural well being of your people. Liberal-progressivist Armenians should wake up from their ideologic arrogance and realize that we cant afford to culturally and morally weaken ourselves. The CM methods are meant to deconstruct our essential values and replace them with what the political Western elite wants.
West-Europeans have ruined many unique cultures in the past by Westernizing/Colonizing them and trying to make them behave and think like them. They still try to do the same by using their political and media influences (to reach Ideologic Western Hegemony > their code word for this agenda is Cultural Globalism, political liberalism/progressivism or mass culture). For example: the Brits used Westernized Indish lackeys for their colonial/imperialistic interests by giving them power and the idea that they are superior over other Indians who wished to stay true to their cultural principles (Im sure any there should ring a bell to any Armenian EU-NGO shill reading this). Be an individual for heavens sake, there is no pride in being a tool of foreign group of people who dont care about Armenia or Armenians (its their own idoelogic, political and cultural agenda that has the priority).
Thats why we non-Western PoC that value our traditionalistic cultures need to have a more aggressive tone and approach towards their indoctrination methods (cultural whitewashing/assimilation), so that we dont fall for the same cultural deconstruction proces that happend to many authentic cultures who were assimilated and Westernized by white West-Europeans (you can compare the contemporary Melting Pot tactics to this development). If you’re proud of your traditionalistic culture say it out loud! You will not conquer us ideologically, culturally or spiritually (by spreading your void, liberalism and nihilism) and we will stay true to ourselves even if it means literally fighting you! Dont trust white liberals, they are just as arrogant like their ancestors who thought that you’re a savage if you didnt submit to their “progressivism”.
The Rebirth of the Armenian Soul in the Modern Era : The Struggle For Survival of The Armenian Diaspora.
The imprortance of a New Cultural Awakening and a Revolution against Cultural assimilation and ideologic liberal colonialism.
The fundaments of Armenian nationalism, cultural standards, the Armenian Honour Codes and political guidelines of the Armenian Renaissance movement.

1. Family and community are the cornerstones of the society and the guarantee of having a future for the Armenians. Starting a family and having as many children as possible must be encouraged at all time and by any means. This also implies not giving postmodern Western anti-family values any space in Armenia or in our diaspora.
   
2. Armenian nationalism should be the default mindset of any nation loving Armenian who prioritizes the well being of his/her people. Protecting our own interests and countering globalists or Panturkic powerstructures is an essential part of maintaining this mindset.
   
3. Respecting our Armenian church that ensured the existence of the Armenian identity during the periods of Islamic and Soviet occupation. Christian values are also vital for having a morally balanced society and Armenian Apostolic Church is the main institution to project these values into our people. Every Armenian family is obliged to teach their children proper theology, Church history, teachings of our Church fathers (not seculahumanistic drivel of the current Western churches) and giving the same responsibility to pass this on to the next generation.
   
4. (Diaspora): Permanent repatriation should be the goal of all Armenians who live in the diaspora. There is no long term future for the Armenian diaspora since cultural detoriation, Westernization (mass-culture) and mixed-marriages intensify the assimilation process.
   
5. (Diaspora): being able to speak, read and write in Armenian is an important part of what makes us Armenian and what makes possible to pass down our cultural identity to the next generation. Speak Armenian at home and with your Armenian friends, there are no excuses of not knowing your own language when we live in the age of accesible information overload. The Armenian soul lives through the breath of our language.
   
6. (Diaspora): Our history (see lost diasporas) and many researches already proved that mixed-marriages result into higher rates of assimilation for the upcoming generation (its basically game over when your half-Armenian child also marries a non-Armenian). By knowing this we should teach our children to focus on trying to find an Armenian partner and try to avoid dating otars (this will make it harder for your future children to grow up Armenian (identity crisis). This does not mean that we should exclude half-Armenians (its not their fault that they are half), in contrary: we should encourage them to adapt the same protectionistic mentality and to marry with an Armenian. We cant afford to lose even more Armenians to assimilation since we are less than 8 million in the world (this would have been different if we had 20+ million Armenians around the world). Its important to recover from the Armenian Genocide by increasing our population. Note: this is not relevant for Armenia itself since the mixed Armenians will be overwhelmengly influenced by the dominant Armenian culture and will stay Armenian.
   
7. Ensuring a more interactive connection/relation/institutions between Armenia and the Armenian Diaspora (as a means for repatriation or cultural preservation).
   
8. Installing diaspora governments that are situated in Russia, USA, France and Middle-East (as a part of guideline 7).
   
9. Every Armenian should aspire to have a higher understanding of our history, ethno-genetics, literature, poetry, language, music, traditional/cultural values, dance, customs and spiritualism. Its important to also facilitate this knowledge/insights to your children.
   
10. The Western liberal order and its mass-culture bring new challenges in preserverving our culture in the diaspora and in Armenia itself. Armenians must be aware of this ideologic warfare and not replace our values with the ones that go against our own principles and cultural standards. You're not only Armenian by name but also need to be Armenian in your soul, mind, behaviour and lifestyle (by being wise, mentally strong and intelligent enough to recognize Western postmodern poison and protect whats ours - this should also apply to Armenian socialists that reject imperialism and Western neo-colonialism). What use does it have to call yourself an Armenian when you have culturally more similarities with foreign nations? (Becoming more enveloped in and identified with the Western contemporary culture/mindset) Being raised and surrounded by primary Western culture and influences is not an excuse to degrade and feel more superior over the culture/mindset which the majority of our people from our actual homeland cherrish and respect (refind your roots instead of trying to change it for your own comfort or cope for your identity crisis).
    

No matter what these deconstructionist/Globalist pseudo-intellectual "educated" subversives say, what an Armenian is does depend on essential collective factors (they are interlinked):

1. Genetics
2. Cultural identity
3. Language
4. Religious identity
5. Traditional values

• I will complete the following guidelines in the coming days (these are still unfinished concepts) -

1. The nuclear monogamous hetrenormative family structure remains the standard (by opposing the Capitalistic Trojan Horse of Neo-Feminism ).
   
2. Traditional gender norms in the family that generate harmony, healthy relationships and order.
   
3. Wholesome protectionistic masculinity.
   
4. Virtueous nurturing femininity.
   
5. Men have the obligation to take care of their community, be responsible for its people, protect the honour of its women, raise their sons in way that they can take over this responsibility and act as strong moral guidelines.
   
6. Having higher standards of sexual morals that is needed to keep the worth of love and intimacy in balance. Not losing the worth of intimacy by normalizing meaningless soulless HookUp and Tindr culture in your community - sexual "liberation" degeneracy (Essentialism)
   
7. Respect and decency against older people and our parents.
   
8. Egocentrism, selfishness and having cold relationships are not appreciated within the family.
   
9. Honour, dignity, sacredness, class & nobleness are concepts that we have the responsibility to keep them alive (see point ... for more explanation).
   
10. We don’t hypersexualize our culture or sexually objectify our women (at least not our decent women who dont want to oversexualize themselves and rather keep their class, elegence and dignity).
    
11. Honour-codes in the family
    
12. Dont let your daughters fall into whoredom and your sons into weak effeminized men or MGTOW lowlives
    
13. When we date each other, we have the intention to look at the possibilies of engaging a long term relationship that eventually will lead to marriage and start a family.
    
14. We don’t see our women as sexual objects for temporary use but as future mothers and loving wives (unless they present themselves as such).
    
15. Reject promiscuity. Valuing your intimacy and not sharing it with everyone is vital for having a healthy marriage & healthy perception of what love is. There is a good reason why promiscuity causes so much misery in the more Western liberal countries (higher divorces, teen pregnancies & degeneracy). Teaching your children that unfiltered "sexual revolution" does have negative consequences on their mental state & commitment is one of the essentials to prevent this damage. They will only accept partners who have serious intentions with them (not solely for their temporary pleasure). This is the an important obligation that parents have towards their children. You need to give your daughters wise directions on how to be modest, elegant and most important of all: to be a woman that has dignity. This will reduce the chances of attracting the "wrong crowd". You need to teach your sons to protect their women, be responsible, be respectable towards women who also respect themselves and focus on finding and recognzing women that are suited for marriage.
    
16. Even before marrying, we make sure to involve our parents and create a stronger bond so our families can unite with each other (collectivism > individualism).
    
17. After the marriage the other family members are still involved to assist and support you with matters like raising up children, relationship issues or maybe help you out from certain financial problems. We always look for each other.
    
18. During the marriage there are clear roles and functions that the husband and wife NATURALLY are taking on them.
    
19. Upholding the sanctity of marriage between husband and wife.
    
20. Husband: keeps the peace at home, loves his wife and makes her feel the queen of the castle. Loves his wife unconditionally and does everything to fulfil her demands, makes his wife confident and lets her feel special, provides for the needs of his wife and kids, takes important decisions, sets out the essential moral values of the family, is a natural leader that radiates dominance without even forcefully demanding authority. Protects his daughter from intruders who have bad intentions with her (also teaches her how to recognize wrong men and how to bond with men in a more healthy way) - she also needs to understand the concept of the worth of intimacy and selfrespect. Explains to his son what being a man is, the concept of honour and how to take responsibility for his own actions + teach him how to recognize girls who are suited for marriage.
    
21. Wife: she is the safe haven of the home and very caring for the whole family. She decides how the house is run, takes care of the household, is the architect of the appearance of the house and makes sure everyone is loved at home. She supports her husband to become more successful and gives him confidence and hope, loves him UNCONDITIONALLY even when he gets struck by misfortune, always doing effort to look good for her husband. Her traits are soft, elegent, classy and she cares the pride of the family with her. The mother must be like a second girlfriend to her daughter and teach her everything what it means to be a good loving wife and protects her from the filth of the outside world (oversexualization, degeneracy, wrong men, harmful subcultures). Also every other aspects of giving them the Christian and Armenian heritage that I described in the sections ...
    
22. Active ivolvement of other family members. “To each his own” is a postmodern selfish individualism that diminishes any warm bonds between the family members (cold approach).
    
23. Keeping our tradition of valuing and respecting erudition, intelligence, talent, excellence, high education, ancient wisdom and creativity by not being taken away by Western Mass Culture, consumerism-materialism and their shallow decadent entertainment industry that lowers and dumbs down the collective quality of our people (brain drain).
    
24. The militarization of our minds and bodies
    
25. Rejection of decadentism, hedonism, nihilism and cosmopolitan worldview (duty before pleasure) - having a connection to our homeland and culture rather than identifying with an abstract cosmopolitan feeling of “universalism” or "Global Citizen" (which is a vague artificial Western concept) or worshipping the corporate pushed Western mass-culture (entertainment industry, liberal order and other institutions of social-engineering).
    
26. Ethnocentrism
    
27. Allegiance to the foreign country first is out of the question (supporting/working for foreign powers that go against our interests)
    
28. Understanding the fragile position of Armenia and Armenians in the diaspora by not promoting Western liberal values like pacifism, cultural-moral relativism, anti-patriotism and egotistic fake "individualism" which weakens the fundaments, unity, ethno-cultural identity and the urge to fight for the cause of our people
    
29. Defensive Nationalistic mindset and having Historic Realism above Political Correctness if it comes to our enemies (reject all notions of the deluded illusions of "co-existence).
    

39.The transcendent understanding of our Tribal (pagan), Tseghakron and Christian Spiritualism

1. Rejection of normalizing and facilitating sins that go against our religion or common cultural moral standards
2. pornikutsjun
3. gomikutsjun
4. alcoholism
5. drug addiction
6. cheating
7. see 7 deadly sins
   
8. Healthy dose of “social-control” (keeping each other sharp and on check).
   
9. The current Western notions of secularism and "humanism" are counterproductive for the interests of the Armenian people.
   
10. Rejection of the progressive religion, 3th wave feminism and the goal of moral/cultural deconstruction to reach their idealistic standards of utopian egalitarianism.
    
11. Completely reject the actions of Armenians who degrade themselves sexually but still use the Armenian label, which they have no right to, to advance their evil intentions (ex. lowlife hook-up culture that is spreaded by the likes of Kim Whoredashian trend, materialistic/shallow “Kukla” lifestyle and neo-feminist degeneracy)
    
12. Completely reject the throwing down the name of Armenians via cultural, historical, and other means of harassment (attempts of liberalization, whitewashing and Westernization of our ethnic-cultural identity)
    

THE POLITICAL GUIDELINES OF THE ARMENIAN RENAISSANCE MOVEMENT

1. Prioritizing the position of the Church and our faith with the use of education, media and public Church activities.
   
2. Oppose any form of LGBT-propaganda, anti-family feminism or other ideologic imperialistic movements that are instigated from the West - the true inentions rely behind geo-political hegemonie and dominance in our region (stop being naive and understand the intentions behind the Western NGO infiltration of our government and other public institutions).
   
3. Abortions must be more restricted in order to stop the decrease of the Armenian population.
   
4. Not allowing any mass-immigration from nations that are not compatible with our ethno-cultural identity (repat of Armenians must be the top priority).
   
5. Ban online porn websites in Armenia.
   
6. Increase the punishment of prostitution (also for the visitors).
   
7. Restrict the requirement for casino permits.
   
8. Increase the punishment for the distribution of drugs.
   
9. Free speech will only be restricted in cases of physical threats
   
10. Aspire for higher standards of aesthetics & beauty in the fields of art, theater and architecture
    
11. Improve the Labour Laws and working conditions of the least paid workers (ARF Socialism)
    
12. The public schools do not promote or push demoralizing and deconstructive harmful doctrines of Cultural Marxism and other ideologies (see points ...) that go against our Armenian interests.
    
13. The Armenian public tv/media do not broadcast and facilitate degeneracy and demoralization.
    
14. Not allowing hormone therapy on children to turn them transgender
    
15. Localism above Globalism if it comes to fragile markts/branches/sectors (putting some restrictions on hostile/predatory multinationals)
    
16. Prohibit any Soros linked NGO’s.
    
17. Responsible deep ecology/environmentalism.
    
18. Improving our own Labour Market instead of importing cheap immigrant workers.
    
19. Criticizing mass bio-industry.
    
20. Implementing laws that improve transparancy and monitoring banks.
    
21. Maintaining good diplomatic relationships with Russia, Iran and China and be more attentive (in a careful way) on Western hegemony in the region (their imperialistic program of ousting Russia in expanse of Armenia).
    

What this is:

This is a weekly, curated listing of Kickstarter board game projects that are either:

• newly posted in the past 7 days, or
• ending in the next 7 days (starting Oct 12) and have at least a fighting chance of being funded.

All board game projects meeting those criteria will automatically be included, no need to ask. (The occasional non-board game project may also sneak in!)
Expect new lists each Sunday sometime between midnight and noon PST.

Ending Soon

Project Info	Players	Backers	Min / Avg Pledge	Ends	Comments
Broadside Empires of Steel A fully printable tabletop miniatures game set in the era of the Dreadnought Battleship. // Has raised A$11,322 of A$3,000 so far. (~377%) ☑	2	206	$22 / A$55	Oct 11	kicktraq bgg
PERTHRO A Norse mythology-inspired dice game for two players. // Has raised CHF13,392 of CHF3,500 so far. (~383%) ☑	2	484	$20 / CHF28	Oct 12	kicktraq
Random Fun Generator, Dice Games from Steve Jackson Games A collection of over twenty dice games from Steve Jackson Games! Use any existing six-sided dice, or play using our many custom dice!!! // Has raised $79,119 of $500 so far. (~15824%) ☑	varies	3166	$15 / $25	Oct 12	kicktraq
Sharks Feeding Frenzy Life getting you down? Wouldn't you rather be a shark? Eat new and exciting people! // Has raised $11,309 of $10,000 so far. (~113%) ☑	2 - 6	169	$29 / $67	Oct 13	kicktraq
Kingdom (2nd Edition) Build your community together. Fight for what you believe in… or watch it burn. A game about communities by the author of Microscope // Has raised $35,010 of $2,500 so far. (~1400%) ☑	2 - 5	1214	$10 / $29	Oct 13	kicktraq #rpg #newedition
The Thing - The Boardgame The official board game inspired by the 1982 movie The Thing. // Has raised €318,357 of €42,000 so far. (~758%) ☑	1 - 8	3995	$93 / €80	Oct 14	kicktraq bgg
Apogee: A New Space Tale A card management game from 1 to 5 players to discover the New Space // Has raised €110,467 of €20,000 so far. (~552%) ☑	1 - 5	2014	$43 / €55	Oct 14	kicktraq bgg
Soulgivers Absorb the Souls of the fallen heroes and capture the Fragment to survive the Decay in this competitive strategy game for 2 players. // Has raised €64,148 of €40,000 so far. (~160%) ☑	2	863	$82 / €74	Oct 14	kicktraq bgg
Fruit Salad: The Multiple Games in One Game We will be creating a board game called Fruit Salad. This game comes with 8 different games perfect for all kind of players. // Has raised $4,301 of $7,064 so far. (~61%)	1 - 10	30	$25 / $143	Oct 14	kicktraq
Bots Up Build a bot, send it to battle and compete to be the last bot standing!Find out more at botsupgame.com // Has raised £15,831 of £3,500 so far. (~452%) ☑	2 - 5	546	$20 / £29	Oct 15	kicktraq bgg
Hogs Of War The Miniatures Game A 1-4 Player Tabletop Miniatures Game with Tech-Tree, Hidden Movement and Base-Building mechanics. Solo and Co-op Modes included! // Has raised £101,206 of £18,000 so far. (~562%) ☑	1 - 4	1091	$88 / £93	Oct 15	kicktraq bgg
Office Buzz The Drinking Game To Become The CEO // Has raised $6,553 of $5,000 so far. (~131%) ☑	3+	231	$18 / $28	Oct 15	kicktraq
Machina Arcana ~ To Eternity A dark and immersive experience awaits you and your group of explorers. Travel the unknown, face cosmic horrors and fight for survival! // Has raised $447,554 of $30,000 so far. (~1492%) ☑	1 - 4	5682	$25 / $79	Oct 15	kicktraq bgg #expansion
Best Left Buried: Deeper A new version of the rules light fantasy horror roleplaying game, Best Left Buried. // Has raised £23,277 of £10,000 so far. (~233%) ☑	?	447	$13 / £52	Oct 15	kicktraq #rpg
Night Parade of a Hundred Yokai Raise an army of supernatural beings to haunt the islands of Japan in this asymmetrical engine building game! // Has raised $51,323 of $10,000 so far. (~513%) ☑	1 - 4	904	$50 / $57	Oct 15	kicktraq bgg
10+ Game A Card Game for Players & Inventors // Has raised HK$104,132 of HK$46,500 so far. (~224%) ☑	2 - 6	284	$24 / HK$367	Oct 15	kicktraq
Forgotten Depths A quick-playing but substantial experience of exploration and combat // Has raised $29,423 of $26,000 so far. (~113%) ☑	1 - 3	994	$30 / $30	Oct 15	kicktraq bgg #take2
Mythalix: Chapter 1: Greek Mythology Gods and Titans clash in a new world.Battle opponents, control areas & build your deck in this light strategy board game. // Has raised £14,588 of £10,000 so far. (~146%) ☑	2 - 4	316	$32 / £46	Oct 15	kicktraq bgg
THE 7th CITADEL After The 7th Continent, explore the world of the Collapsing Lands! // Has raised €2,238,010 of €300,000 so far. (~746%) ☑	1 - 4	27409	$81 / €82	Oct 15	kicktraq bgg
Brick Logic: The Game A kid designed logic game that uses LEGO bricks. Great for pandemic fun. // Has raised $2,227 of $204 so far. (~1092%) ☑	1+	130	$12 / $17	Oct 15	kicktraq
Castaway Curse (Second Printing) The shipwreck adventure game, now available with international shipping! 2-6 players, 20 min/player. Ages 13+ // Has raised $1,748 of $1,000 so far. (~175%) ☑	2 - 6	22	$100 / $79	Oct 15	kicktraq bgg #newedition
RUMSKI (Second Edition) A quick-thinking, rummy style, strategy card game // Has raised $2,904 of $3,500 so far. (~83%)	2 - 6	81	$13 / $36	Oct 15	kicktraq #take2
Set 🔥 Watch: Swords of the Coin ⚔️ The highly anticipated stand alone expansion to our acclaimed 1-4 player cooperative game, Set a Watch // Has raised $167,927 of $20,000 so far. (~840%) ☑	1 - 4	3554	$28 / $47	Oct 15	kicktraq bgg #expansion
Ultimate Bestiary Miniatures A horde of miniatures for your tabletop adventures! Based on the best selling monster book; Revenge of the Horde! // Has raised $85,513 of $75,000 so far. (~114%) ☑	-	1229	$10 / $70	Oct 15	kicktraq #minis
What's The Point? - The Cactus Card Game What's The Point? is an exciting, family-friendly, and cacti-loaded card game! // Has raised $7,925 of $3,000 so far. (~264%) ☑	2 - 6	156	$25 / $51	Oct 15	kicktraq
Lucky Luau Flower matching and lei making fun from beautiful Hawaii! // Has raised $5,204 of $4,000 so far. (~130%) ☑	2 - 6	180	$15 / $29	Oct 15	kicktraq bgg
Choo Choo Game. The Choo Choo card game is a train building game for everyone. // Has raised A$761 of A$750 so far. (~101%) ☑	2 - 12	19	$20 / A$40	Oct 15	kicktraq
Pets Gone Shady - Card Game A card game that lets you throw octopuses, deal with naked turtles and avoid hangry hamsters! // Has raised $25,190 of $12,500 so far. (~202%) ☑	2 - 5	520	$20 / $48	Oct 16	kicktraq #newedition
Good vs Gooder Fun debates for funny people—a family-friendly party game celebrating the gooder things in life // Has raised $17,758 of $18,500 so far. (~96%)	3+	209	$29 / $85	Oct 16	kicktraq
Dinosaur World and Dinosaur Island: Rawr 'n Write Dinosaur World and Dinosaur Island: Rawr 'n Write are two stand-alone games set in the Dinosaur Island Universe! // Has raised $642,373 of $25,000 so far. (~2569%) ☑	2 - 4	7422	$30 / $87	Oct 16	kicktraq bgg
Brinkwood: The Blood of Tyrants A castlepunk Forged in the Dark roleplaying game. Mask up. Spill Blood. Drink the Rich. Join the discord! https://discord.gg/R72Endm // Has raised $48,598 of $10,000 so far. (~486%) ☑	?	1644	$10 / $30	Oct 16	kicktraq #rpg
DOPPELT ODER NICHTS Ein Kartenspiel, bei dem niemand sicher ist. Du hast die Wahl, aber wenn du dich überschätzt, trifft es dich doppelt -ENGLISH AVAILABLE // Has raised €5,803 of €7,000 so far. (~83%)	4 - ?	115	$20 / €50	Oct 17	kicktraq
Escape Deathrace 2182 A pocket-sized table-top dungeon crawler that pits you against your friends (and aliens!) in a cosmic street race to save the galaxy! // Has raised $4,044 of $8,200 so far. (~49%)	1 - 4	45	$25 / $90	Oct 17	kicktraq bgg
Arms & Influence A political strategy card game, where you compete with neighboring nations to achieve world dominance. // Has raised $10,916 of $7,500 so far. (~146%) ☑	3 - 4	215	$19 / $51	Oct 17	kicktraq bgg

New This Week

Project Info	Players	Backers	Min / Avg Pledge	Ends	Comments
"Really Karen?" Party Board Game Live the life of a 'Karen' as you argue and complain around town with your friends in this hilarious party board game. // Has raised $2,715 of $10,000 so far. (~27%)	2 - 6	43	$30 / $63	Nov 06
13 Monsters: Armed to the Teeth - Battle expansion pack Supercharge your battles with 13 Monsters: Armed to the Teeth, the brand-new expansion pack for 13 Monsters: The game. // Has raised €1,558 of €6,500 so far. (~24%)	2 - 8	37	$30 / €42	Nov 05	bgg #expansion #reprint
Additive Drinking: The Card Game For Drinkers A fast paced and competitive drinking game. Influence your opponents drinking tasks to impossible levels using cards like +1, +4, x2. // Has raised $451 of $500 so far. (~90%)	2 teams	16	$12 / $28	Nov 02
Ambush Epic A semi-cooperative Dungeon game. Lead your hero to the creepy and darkest nook of the dungeon. // Has raised €14,570 of €25,000 so far. (~58%)	1 - 4	309	$42 / €47	Oct 29	bgg #take2
Animal Family A card game for the whole family. It matches animals in different family dynamics, which has rules for both ages 3 - 6 and 6 - 10. // Has raised $1 of $5,000 so far. (~0%)	?	1	$12 / $1	Dec 06
ANiMOZ - The trading card game of Australian animals The game changing conservation. Come be a Ranger! // Has raised A$12,836 of A$5,900 so far. (~218%) ☑	1 - 4+	198	$11 / A$65	Oct 31
Blood & Plunder: Raise the Black Golden age pirates join the world of Blood & Plunder as we move into the 18th century! // Has raised $220,954 of $120,000 so far. (~184%) ☑	2	1133	$50 / $195	Nov 04	bgg #expansion #reprint
Bluffy pirates An extremely fun, highly competitive, strategic party game, suited for groups from 4 to 6 people. // Has raised €862 of €5,000 so far. (~17%)	4 - 6	25	$19 / €34	Oct 26
Card Bard A highly thematic card game where players take up the mantle of the bard! // Has raised $4,182 of $12,000 so far. (~35%)	2 - 4	70	$38 / $60	Nov 05	bgg
Cartographers Heroes + 3 Map Pack Expansions The stand-alone follow up to the critically acclaimed map-drawing game - Cartographers: A Roll Player Tale. // Has raised $218,516 of $20,000 so far. (~1093%) ☑	1 - 100	4073	$22 / $54	Oct 23	bgg
Cooking Customers - Play Cards, Roll Dice & Don't Get Fired! Cooking Customers is a "stick it to your competition" card and dice game where you play cards, roll dice and try not to get fired! // Has raised $22 of $100 so far. (~22%)	2 - 10	3	$15 / $7	Oct 24	bgg #take2
Dice Command A semi-abstract tactical wargame for 2-4 players with dice action selection and engine building! // Has raised C$10169 of C$7000 so far. (~145%) ☑	2 - 4	183	$35 / C$56	Nov 05
DICTATOR-Y LITTLE BITCH: A Cooperative Card/Board Game Team up with intelligent life forms from all over the Universe to resist the DICTATOR-Y LITTLE B!†₵Ħ before he totally Fµ₵кs the WORLD. // Has raised $1,357 of $13,000 so far. (~10%)	2 - 6	22	$34 / $62	Nov 02
Disciples - The Immoral Game of Cults and Consequences Start a cult! Perform ridiculous rituals, collect disciples and forget your morals in this fun global strategy tabletop game. // Has raised $2,653 of $3,333 so far. (~80%)	2 - 4	35	$38 / $76	Oct 30	bgg
Do You Realize How Much? An engaging, fun and surprising card game about our human footprint // Has raised €5,721 of €6,000 so far. (~95%)	?	145	$18 / €39	Nov 11
Dungeon Decorators A new tile-drafting light strategy game from the makers of The Red Dragon Inn! // Has raised $26,777 of $40,000 so far. (~67%)	2 - 4	476	$39 / $56	Oct 29	bgg
Dungeon Drop: Dropped Too Deep and Tavern Tales Prepare to drop deeper with an epic expansion to the premier "drop-style" tabletop game. Then complete your story with Tavern Tales! // Has raised $143,731 of $14,500 so far. (~991%) ☑	varies	2357	$16 / $61	Oct 29	bgg #expansion
Eternal Eight A Miniature War game with True 3D Castles and Villages! // Has raised $1,855 of $100,000 so far. (~2%)	1 - 4	19	$89 / $98	Nov 09
EvenQuads A new card deck, and five new games, featuring the biographies of women mathematicians through history. // Has raised $6,043 of $3,000 so far. (~201%) ☑	1 - ?	146	$18 / $41	Nov 19
Fearsome Wilderness: the board game & miniatures collection a tabletop gaming experience crafted for gamers, hobbyists, and horror fans alike. // Has raised $17,390 of $10,000 so far. (~174%) ☑	1 - 4	289	$49 / $60	Nov 05	bgg
Filibust! Party Card Game A party card game full of laughter; just don't let it out! You and your friends must keep a straight face saying your whacky lines. // Has raised $587 of $10,000 so far. (~6%)	3 - 8	10	$25 / $59	Dec 08
Frostpunk: The Board Game A city-survival game where heat means life and every decision comes at a cost. From the designers of Nemesis and This War of Mine: TBG. // Has raised €1,093,059 of €200,000 so far. (~547%) ☑	1 - 4	9962	$89 / €110	Oct 28	bgg
Gun and Gun A fast-paced competitive card game featuring action-packed 1v1 duels and a two-deck draft system, brought to you straight from Japan. // Has raised $27,313 of $10,000 so far. (~273%) ☑	2	438	$30 / $62	Oct 22	bgg
Herbaceous - Pocket Edition A new, compact version of Herbaceous that's just as relaxing and beautiful as the original // Has raised $18,466 of $4,500 so far. (~410%) ☑	1 - 4	925	$15 / $20	Oct 19	bgg #newedition
Hey Doc, A adult party game for health care workers, students and anyone who finds bodily functions humerus! // Has raised $12,005 of $11,000 so far. (~109%) ☑	3+	269	$35 / $45	Nov 01	#take2 #lolwut
Hidden Society of the Gnomes: Great Invasion Gnomes are taking over the world! The invasion is inevitable! Will they succeed, or will the human race prevail? The choice is yours! // Has raised €222 of €60,000 so far. (~0%)	2	4	$47 / €56	Dec 08	#hmm
High Rise: The UltraPlastic Edition The tabletop board game about construction and corruption, now with gorgeous plastic buildings // Has raised $49,273 of $50,000 so far. (~99%)	1 - 4	706	$5 / $70	Oct 29	bgg #newedition #expansion
Jack Rabbit JAM: Battle Roulette A casino-style 1v1 game of strategy and luck, inspired by classic arcade fighters. // Has raised £83 of £777 so far. (~11%)	2	13	$10 / £6	Oct 28
Journey to Ecrya: A roleplay-driven board game Play as 1 of 8 unique heroes and embark on a dangerous journey through a rich fantasy landscape in this 2 to 4 players game. // Has raised €2,180 of €13,000 so far. (~17%)	2 - 4	53	$30 / €41	Nov 10	bgg
King of the West A quick Weird West area-control card game that fits in your pocket. Only $9! // Has raised $2,169 of $3,500 so far. (~62%)	2 - 9	86	$9 / $25	Nov 03	bgg
Mighty Armies: Invasion The dead have risen! The living must form armies as they combat the forces of foul necromancers. Welcome to Invasion. // Has raised $1,441 of $500 so far. (~288%) ☑	2?	22	$10 / $66	Oct 18
MUD: A Political Card Game The dirty game of American elections. // Has raised $19,427 of $12,000 so far. (~162%) ☑	2 - 6	394	$25 / $49	Nov 02	bgg
NOONGK - the future is already here! Harness the power of technologies and leverage them as a tool to achieve the sustainable development agenda. // Has raised €182 of €30,000 so far. (~1%)	?	5	$35 / €36	Nov 11	#hmm
Pocket Paragons 3-minute Asymmetrical Duel // Has raised $11,591 of $8,000 so far. (~145%) ☑	2	214	$20 / $54	Nov 05	bgg
Prosperitea A simple and elegant card game about blending, selling, and trading loose leaf tea. From the studio that brought you Cantankerous Cats! // Has raised $3,714 of $20,000 so far. (~19%)	3 - 6	95	$29 / $39	Nov 02	bgg
Rainbow Unicorn Rescue Rainbow Unicorn Rescue is a true family board game; created by two young sisters and brought to life with a little help from dad. // Has raised $4,046 of $5,000 so far. (~81%)	2 - 4	56	$30 / $72	Nov 01
Random Fun Generator, Dice Games from Steve Jackson Games A collection of over twenty dice games from Steve Jackson Games! Use any existing six-sided dice, or play using our many custom dice!!! // Has raised $79,119 of $500 so far. (~15824%) ☑	varies	3166	$15 / $25	Oct 12
Rathskellers Modular Table : For Dining, Gaming & RPG's Rathskellers' 1st kickstarter project ! Presenting Sunnygeeks: A truly epic & modular table for Dining, Gaming & RPGs. // Has raised €269,740 of €100,000 so far. (~270%) ☑	-	231	$1182 / €1,168	Nov 12	#bling
Reputation: The Game of Fame A scandalous card game about your journey to superstardom. // Has raised A$1,155 of A$1,500 so far. (~77%)	?	25	$18 / A$46	Nov 02
ROTTEN MINIATURES MMXX Resin miniatures in dark fantasy style for players, collectors, and painters. // Has raised €4,486 of €2,500 so far. (~179%) ☑	-	79	$10 / €57	Nov 07	#minis
RPG Battles: The Card Game The easiest roleplaying, cards, and strategy game ever! Based on the mechanics of the Pathfinder RPG, without the complication. #TTRPG // Has raised $961 of $1,000 so far. (~96%)	2 - 6	31	$15 / $31	Nov 06	bgg
Sig: City of Blades Cosmopolitan Planar Fantasy, Forged in the Dark // Has raised C$15246 of C$10000 so far. (~152%) ☑	?	354	$19 / C$43	Oct 30	#rpg
Solid Oak Dice Tower Evolution Dice tower / tray / storage combo // Has raised £1,605 of £400 so far. (~401%) ☑	-	26	$39 / £62	Oct 29	#bling
Spindlewheel A tarot-like interpretive storytelling game where you weave a story from card to card. // Has raised $19,970 of $5,000 so far. (~399%) ☑	?	321	$35 / $62	Nov 07	#rpg
Studies in Sorcery Studies in Sorcery is an engine building and drafting game for 1-4 players about getting your master's degree in the dark arts. // Has raised $16,327 of $5,900 so far. (~277%) ☑	1 - 4	545	$19 / $30	Oct 29	bgg
Takkure, a cyberpunk rugby game In a violent cyberpunk universe, the players take on the role of coaches to lead teams of 4 players. // Has raised €19,734 of €13,000 so far. (~152%) ☑	2	282	$77 / €70	Oct 25	bgg
The Conquistadors A game simulating the Spanish conquest of the Americas from 1518-1548 // Has raised $6,373 of $2,500 so far. (~255%) ☑	1 - 5	80	$64 / $80	Oct 27	bgg
The Sleepover A lightly horror themed family friendly co-op board game. Where you have to restore power to the house before the Boogeyman gets you. // Has raised $2,569 of $27,000 so far. (~10%)	2 - 6	32	$45 / $80	Nov 06
Time Vault Soccer - The football card game A 2 player starter pack and expansion for the original Time Vault Soccer "Debut" set - with added World Cup-ness. // Has raised £613 of £1,000 so far. (~61%)	2 - 6	14	$27 / £44	Nov 05	bgg #expansion #newedition
To The Moon And Back A fun and highly tactical board game where in up to six players compete against eachother as intergalactic parcel couriers. // Has raised €3,724 of €20,000 so far. (~19%)	2 - 6	68	$48 / €55	Nov 05
TorKings: The World's Greatest Strategic Alignment Game UNTAMED and UNLEASHED - The genre's EXTREME UPGRADE of gameplay and hardware is here. // Has raised A$38,686 of A$5,000 so far. (~774%) ☑	2 - 6	406	$39 / A$95	Oct 27	bgg
Truth or lie, do you know your friends? The boardgame where you will have to discover if your friends are lying or telling the truth, with the most intimate questions // Has raised €322 of €2,200 so far. (~15%)	?	8	$24 / €40	Nov 03
Unforgiven: The Lincoln Assassination Trial Relive one of the most famous trials in US history--a tense, tabletop duel where you sway a jury & a nation for swift justice. // Has raised $22,177 of $7,999 so far. (~277%) ☑	2	373	$29 / $59	Oct 31	bgg
WOKE UP! “There is no such thing as a single issue struggle"Audre Lorde (Black, Lesbian, Mother, Warrior) // Has raised £1 of £4,600 so far. (~0%)	2 - 6	1	$20 / £1	Nov 04
Yonder: A Fantasy Tabletop Roleplaying Game Refugees from a cataclysm venture into a magical land where they are transformed as they reveal their inner nature. // Has raised C$8192 of C$6000 so far. (~137%) ☑	?	176	$19 / C$47	Nov 01	#rpg
You Don't Know Me: The Friendship Party Game Testing friendships since 2020. // Has raised C$2957 of C$8000 so far. (~37%)	3 - 6+	36	$19 / C$82	Nov 05

Need moar Kickstarter goodness?

Check out...

• My Calendar of Announced Kickstarters (Also available in iCal flavor)
• My interactive AirTable view of all active board game kickstarter campaigns.
• BoardGameGeek's variety of Kickstarter-oriented Geeklists
• Kicktraq's data-driven views

Footnotes

• #hmm means that something about the project seems a little off. Buyer beware kinda thing.
• #lolwut is reserved for projects that seem like copycat games or campaigns put together with little thought. Check 'em out for amusement.
• #take tags are for projects that have been restarted for some reason, with the number indicating what iteration we're currently on.
• Did I miss something? Particularly something new in the last 7 days or ending in the next 7 days? Let me know in the comments and I'll add it in.

Tip Jar

These lists take time and money to put together. Not a lot, but a little. If you enjoy them, maybe toss me a buck now and then. Signing up for a free AirTable account via my referral link can help, too. Plus, it's swell!

If you haven't read the "Getting Started Guide" and went straight here, go read it here first
Don't just commit to the first nation you see on this list, there are many different countries that serve many different niches and types of players. Try to find the one that works best for you.

Central Nations (closer to 0,0)

Gensokyo (1200, -2500)

Gensokyo is probably most known for being "weeb central," however, they house a number of the World Wonders, and have an excellent community. They organized the Third Olympics in Taozi, to rousing success. Taozi is a modern Japanese city home to huge skyscrapers, stadiums, shops and the residences of most citizens. The other city they hold is Roe Island, built in a traditional Japanese village that hosts a huge bathhouse à la Spirited Away. Connecting the two cities is a majestic Imperial garden. Gensokyo also hosts irregular movie and game nights on their discord and is continuously builidng new structures!
Whether you're returning from older Civ iterations or are completely new to Civ servers, Gensokyo is a great place to get started! Read more...

General Info			Nation Profile	Description
Leaders	u/Topaz4293, u/Ahrimanne, Fox, Infra, u/Crimsonblod, Yuyucat		Industralization	Mid-High
Playstyle	Focus on building, industry & diplomacy.		Market	Small
Nation Theme	Weebs		Population	Low-mid
Pictures	Postcard, Roe Island, Roe Island #2, Taozi		Activity	Stable, moderate amount online
Train Lines	0,0, Hjaltland, Vinland, Nyasaland, Bloom, Annwyn, Coventhia, TdC, Varkonia, Tvtopia		Militarization	Low
Discord	https://discord.gg/6e4yJpx		Stability & Drama	High stability, low drama
Alliance	Entente		Government Structure	Council

Imperial Truidence (-1077, -531)

Imperial Truidence is an up and coming nation on the world scene. Although they are a smaller nation than most on this list, they're planning plenty of builds, most notably a large cathedral for their emperor. Like Bloom, they are rebuilding the capital, but even further, from scratch. Right now it's a great time to hop on and get started with them. It's a quieter, humbler, and smaller place to set up and I can guarantee you'll get some form of one-on-one interaction. Despite being very close to the center of the map, they are very accomodating and nice people to hang out with.
Imperial Truidence is on the younger side in terms of nations on the server and while they don't participate in global politics quite as much, if you're looking for a relatively drama-free nation, and want to get started quickly and with someone who knows their stuff, IT might be the place for you. Read more...

General Info			Nation Profile	Description
Leader(s)	u/ObtainableSpat		Industrialization	Medium
Playstyle	Dedicated to helping out newfriends		Market	Very small
Nation Theme	A Nice Starting Point		Population	Low
Pictures	Overview, Sunrise, Rainy Day		Activity	Stable, small amount online
Train Lines from	Icenia, Bloom (soon) (It's close to 0,0 so you could walk)		Militarizaion	Low
Discord	https://discord.gg/EgXnvUY		Stability & Drama	Mid stability, little drama
Alliance	UDF		Government structure	Democracy & Dictatorship

Icenia (-1650, -1433)

Icenia one of the more busy yet controversial nations on the server thus far. Led by ChrisChrispie, Icenia's been shown to be in all kinds of antics. It has a very active community and if you're looking for a place that (mostly) has it all, whether you're a builder, politics guy, technician, librarian, Icenia might be the place for you. It can garner a quite a bit of controversy and drama every week or so but on the plus side, something is always happening in Icenia.
With weird running jokes about septic tanks and UBI, Icenia has had incarnations since Civcraft 2.0, and although not all of them have gone completely smoothly, you can probably count on Icenia being involved on Civclassic. Read more...

General Info			Nation Profile	Description
Leader(s)	u/ChrisChrispie, u/Lagiacrus11		Industrialization	Mid-high
Playstyle	Focus on, well, everything really		Market	Medium
Nation Theme	Hodgepodge for Everyone		Population	High
Pictures	Postcard, Ports, City, Album		Activity	Stable, moderate amount online
Train Lines from	Bloom, Imperial Truidence, 0,0, Gabon, Vinland		Militarization	Mid
Discord	https://discord.gg/ET5zYef		Stability & Drama	Mid stability, high drama
Alliance	UDF		Government structure	Democracy (mostly)

Northwest (-,-)

Varkonia (-4921, -2772)

Varkonia is one of the bigger nations on the server but is one of the more welcoming on Civclassics. It reaches from the top of the server down to the center, but its main capital and great city builds are situated right in the Northwest part of the country. Varkonia, however, is more of a military power but in a different sense of what you might think of it. While they are powerful in producing materials and have great pvpers, Varkonia additionally hosts large city builds, and despite their PvP tactics they almost always tend towards foreign policy. Although Varkonia does tend to get involved in drama from time to time, it never turns into violent conflict, and if you're looking for a nation that's a little different than your normal nation, Varkonia might be for you.Read more...
Gabon, (-3056, -2309) although already part of Varkonia is also worth looking at. Despite being a very large city, it has a very quaint village feel, and its many international rail connections and many various shops make it one of the most important travel and trade hubs in the region.

General Info			Nation Profile	Description
Leader(s)	u/Varkanos, BritishWanderer, Mickale		Industrialization	High
Playstyle	Focus on military power but also being a world power		Market	Low-Medium
Nation Theme	British-like		Population	Low-Moderate
Pictures	Postcard, Gabon Postcard		Activity	Stable, low amount online
Train lines from	MtA, Bloom (via Gabon), Corvus, Icenia, SPQR, Coventhia, Nyasaland, Gensokyo, Tvtopia, TdC		Militarization	Mid-High
Discord	https://discord.gg/F2KDUvp		Stability	High stability, low drama
Alliance	Entente		Government structure	King + Senate

Bloom (-2121, -2600)

Bloom's capital is a massive trade and infrastructure hub in the northwest. It's one of the more prominent members of the UDF, and regularly holds elections. It also takes in newfriends and encourages other countries to construct embassies and form international relations with other prominent nations on the server. They're currently in the process of rebuilding the capital after long dereliction, and is bound to have a resurgence in the coming days and is investing major resources into it's military, and is aiming to become a regional power. For newer people, it's still a great place to get started as more shops are bound to be arriving in Bloom soon.
Bloom was rooted in the old Towny server structure however, it has greatly adapted to the Civ playstyle on this server. It is a litte on the young side, however, over the last year they have a good grip on being a Civ server for this new generation. Read more...

General Info			Nation Profile	Description
Leader(s)	Slushhi, u/Truckiboi		Industrialization	High
Playstyle	Focus on foreign policy & industry		Market	Medium
Nation Theme	British, Friendly, and Dedicated		Population	Low-mid
Pictures	Postcard, Picture		Activity	Stable, small amount online
Train Lines From	Gensokyo, 0,0, Icenia, Gabon (Varkonia), Mt. Augusta, Coventhia		Militarization	Mid
Discord	https://discord.gg/attCEjk		Stability & Drama	Mid stability, currently less drama
Alliance	UDF		Government structure	Parliament-like

Southwest (-,+)

The Commonwealth (CW) (-7000, 5000)

Situated in the centre of the southwest quadrant, the Commonwealth is a family of city states and smaller boroughs spanning a large network of islands. This community has twice been voted the world's friendliest; it features a vibrant market, a rich and colourful history, and many magnificent builds across a dozen unique locales.
Boroughs include but are not limited to Albion, a British style city on the northernmost peninsula, Taliesin, an up and coming canton colony in the far east, Meditat, a desert oasis with a unique mystical tradition, and Westminster, the cosmopolitan cityscape that connects them all, by rail and by royalty. Come down today, and we'll help you get set up with a free apartment & factories.
This version of the Commonwealth was inspired by the iteration from Civcraft 2.0. Many of the same faces return for this version as well. It's had quite a history on the server thus far, and you can read more about it here...
Public Perceptions:

• Pros: Very welcoming towards new players, relaxing, friendly community, little drama
• Cons: Huge, confusing to navigate at first

General Info			Nation Profile	Description
Leaders	u/brinton, u/Lodish_mc, u/setsen, u/morsden67 (hey that's me!), et al.		Industrialization	High
Playstyle	Focus on building, foreign relations, defense		Market	Large
Nation Theme	British but also a potpourri of nice people		Population	Mid
Pictures	Postcard, Album		Activity	Stable, small to medium amount online
Train lines from:	Mt. Augusta, SPQR, Hjaltland, 0,0, Yoahtl, Vinland/Okashima, Etherium, Caledonia (through Entrana/Adina), Southshire		Militarization	Mid
Discord	https://discord.gg/PSvZe7J		Stability	High Stability, Low Drama
Alliance	SATO		Government Strucutre	Parliamentary Democracy

Mount Augusta (MtA) (-6700, 3000)

Mount Augusta is probably the most prominent and recognizable cityscape on the entire server. As a democracy it regularly holds elections for its mayor and judges. It's structured so people can do most whatever they want, building literally the World Trade Center, a five-story mall, several Olympic stadiums (they hosted the Olympics quite recently at that), a University, and a huge library. And there's new developments happening all the time, whether political, building, or anything cultural. If you're looking for a place to do something, Mount Augusta might be the right place for you.
This is the fifth iteration of MtA since Civcraft 1.0. It's had quite a history dealing with foreign powers, and that's just this iteration! Read more...

Fast Facts			National Profile	Description
Leader(s)	u/AllenY99		Industrialization	High
Playstyle	Focus on building, government, politics		Market	Large
Nation theme	Minarchy in a nutshell		Population	Mid
Pictures	Postcard, Citywide Render		Activity	Stable, mid amount online
Rails from	CW (x3), Jefferson, SPQR, Hjaltland, Airhaven, Yoahtl, Vinland, Okashima, Bloom, Varkonia, 0,0, Pripyat (dangerous), TdC, Southshire		Militarization	Mid
Discord	https://discord.gg/uPNKBA8		Stability	Moderate Stability, Moderate Drama
Alliance	None		Government Structure	Mayor-Judges with small Council

Yoahtl (-5000, +6888)

Yoahtl is one hell of a nation in Civ. They're a really closely knit community with a heavy focus on integrating new players into this very chaotic world. For one, they're super fanatical about trains and they command the Great Overland Railroad throughout the server. If you're into the nitty-gritties about city-planning as well, their capital is one of the highest density spots on the entire map and they make it a goal to continuously make it better. Finally, they're one of the most affluent markets on the server, consistently selling pickaxes, armor, and swords.
If you want a community who loves trains and coding and other things completely outside of Civ, Yoahtl might be the place for you. Yoahtl has existed in different iterations throughout but this iteration, and has quite a history this iteration. Read more...

Fast Facts			National Profile	Description
Leader(s)	u/Feathercrown, u/Neo355, bgbba		Industrialization	High
Playstyle	Focus on building infrastructure & their community		Market	Mid-Large
Nation theme	Planning the perfect everything		Population	Mid
Pictures	Postcard, Album		Activity	Stable, mid-high amount online
Rails from	Wayrest (Hallow), CW, MtA, Vinland, Okashima, Airhaven, Hjaltland, Pacem, Southshire		Militarization	Mid
Discord	Ask leaders for access		Stability	High stability, Moderate Drama
Alliance	SATO		Government Structure	"Alcuahtl"-Council system

Pacem (-700, 9700)

Pacem is an autonomous town of Yoahtl but is probably the most visually stunning out of any on this list. The city is a high density urban sprawl based on the cities of the early 1920's. Filled with Art Deco skyscrapers, bars, hotels, shops, and townhouses, the city offers something for everyone. These traditional skyscrapers in the city are some of the most amazing and impressive builds on the server. Previously as an independent country, Pacem has created the most high quality posters and now is actively recruiting people for their massive builds like the new Opera House. If you want to get involved in builds or just sightseeing, this is probably your place. Read more...

Fast Facts			National Profile	Description
Leader(s)	u/shtim		Industralization	Mid
Playstyle	Focus on building, like really		Market	Mid-Small
Nation theme	Making stuff look awesome		Population	Small
Pictures	NeoTide's Postcard, Opera House, Freedom Square, Liberty Ave.		Activity	Semi-stable, moderate amount online
Rails from	Hjaltland, Yoahtl, Commonwealth, Okashima, Vinland		Militarization	Low
Discord	Ask leaders for access		Stability	High stability, Low drama
Alliance	SATO		Government Structure	Casual

Southeast (+,+)

Caledonia (+8888, +555)

Caledonia is a burgeoning nation, on the cusp of developing into a small city from the once tiny village. If you're looking for a chill time to lay back, do a little grinding, building, and maybe have a little action every once in a while, Caledonia might be for you. Much of Caledonia's population are experienced players willing to teach newfriends mechanics quickly and effectively. They specialize mostly in experience production, armor, and swords, although they are actively building, and are excellent in the PvP department. Although far away from the rest of the map, they're a mostly chill, relaxed community where you can just hang out for a while and nothing will be that stressful.
Their community is mature, stable and welcoming and there’s plenty of land to go around. Whether you’re a builder, grinder, pvper, etc, Caledonia will welcome you in with open arms. Read more...

Fast Facts			National Assessment	Description
Leaders	u/Wingzero54, u/meat312		Industrialization	High
Playstyle	Focus on producing supplies, but open to anything and everything		Market	Mid-Large
Nation theme	Relaxed playstyle, helping newfriends		Population	Mid
Pictures	Picture		Activity	Stable, moderate amount online
Rails from	Entrana (Adina), Commonwealth, Okashima, Nexus (0,0), Pripyat (x2), Iria, Brennau, Carpathia		Militarization	Moderate
Discord	https://discord.gg/wVRFZK9		Stability	High Stability, low drama
Alliance	SATO		Government Structure	Council system

Adina (+4800, +5750)

Adina is one of the only countries that has been relatively successful despite being in the very deep +,+. To counteract that, Adina is being productive building infrastructure and connecting the quadrant. One of the reasons it's been successful is that they have a clear identity - Adina is spanish-bilingual and has quite a few first language speakers. They are also excellent builders, and Adina itself hosts quite a few cities and one of the only casinos on the server. Because of their tight-knit community, they help newfriends get oriented and some of them are quite worldly people on the server. Additionally, their government is quite active and holds regular elections.
Adina is one of the newest countries on the map and hadn't been established when my last guide came up. It has a variety of playstyles, so there's usually something that fits here. Read more...

Fast Facts			National Assessment	Description
Leaders	u/_Kalipso_		Industrialization	Low-Moderate
Playstyle	Focus on building and expanding infrastructure		Market	Mid-Large
Nation theme	Spanish		Population	Mid
Pictures	Album		Activity	Semi-stable, moderate amount online
Rails from	Commonwealth, Okashima, Caledonia, (via Entrana)		Militarization	Low-Moderate
Discord	https://discord.gg/S4WYAWT		Stability	Medium stability, moderate drama
Alliance	None		Government Structure	Supreme Consulate

Northeast (+,-)

Nyasaland (+4100, -4100)

Nyasaland has built quite a name for itself over the last few months on CivClassic. Nyasaland's theme is one of the weirdest on the server -- If you like anime, or are looking for a socialist nation, or even both, then Nyasaland is certainly the place for you. However, even if that isn't enough, hosts a large, amazing city with hundreds of intricate details. Even if that's not enough, there's a church where you can get married in game (I guess, if you're into that). Still not enough? Their government is one of the best and Nyasaland is one of the most trustworthy nations, and they actively support trans rights. If you're not an idiot, Nyasaland is a unique country that deserves a great look at. I don't have more to say, if you want more reasons to join this awesome nation, just look at the photo album. Read more...

Fast Facts			National Assessment	Description
Leaders	u/BennyZ, u/cat_alunya		Industrialiation	High
Playstyle	Focus on, well everything in the description		Market	Moderate
Nation theme	Weebs & more		Population	Mid
Pictures	Album, Postcard		Activity	Stable, moderate amount online
Rails from	Appomattox, Annwyn, Gensokyo, Varkonia, Verda		Militarization	Moderate
Discord	https://discord.gg/SAph8dF		Stability	High stability, low drama
Alliance	Entente		Government Structure	Federalist Socialist Democratic Republic

Hopefully all of this information helped you which nation to look at. I strongly urge you not to just join the first one that just sounds good. Visit them, try them out before picking one. Some of these are quite close to each other and most are fun people to hang out in.
If you want to see more of those postcards from other world wonders on this list, here's the album. Thanks to u/Neo355 for all his amazing renders.
Additionally if you have any questions, don't hesitate to put any questions you have about anything below! I'll try and answer as much as I can! I'll be putting a copy of this on the wiki with more pictures (hopefully) soon, so stay tuned for that.
Thank you all for reading, and happy playing!

I'm from the UK, so have basically 0 knowledge about Native American history or issues, and I've tried finding articles online, but they all seem to assume previous knowledge or go into very little detail, so can someone explain Tribal Sovereignty to me, and whether it's a good/bad/neutral thing?
From a basic theory perspective, I think any group has the right to peaceful cessation and to form a sovereign state, but personally I'm completely against it. As a cosmopolitan/internationalist/globalist I want to see the eventual removal of all national borders and the eventual formation of a world government. Federalism, liberal democracy, and strong civil rights should serve to protect everyone's right to self-determination and other freedoms. So looking at the issue as someone from the UK, I guess I would apply the same principles I had on Scottish independence, if a majority want it, they have a right to it, but personally I support "Unity in Diversity" and federalism. Does this make sense in regards to Native American issues?
From the articles I have read, the reasons tribal sovereignty is wanted is based on:

• Desire for self-determination. Federalism, liberal democracy, and civil rights exist to provide self-determination to all, whilst encouraging unity and solidarity. If one thinks that for Native Americans to have self-determination it requires sovereign nations, should that be the same for all other groups and individuals across America? Do New Yorkers not also have self-determination and the freedom to control their own destiny?
• Promote economic development, and rely less on federal government. As someone who comes from a country with a strong welfare state, this one makes no real sense to me. Any good development plan should be based on solving issues of poverty, lack of education, crime etc, and creating a strong local economy. There are poverty stricken and underdeveloped communities across America, but the solution (I think) should simply be to provide adequate funding for development. Maybe I'm missing the point, but tribal governments shouldn't have to run casinos, or license patents for drugs to provide education, healthcare etc, they should already receive adequate funding and support.
• Preserve culture. This one I have no real clue on. I tend to think that "cultures" don't matter, culture matters because people matter, and culture matters to people. So, everyone should be free to pick and choose from all local and global cultures the aspects they like. But I don't have any knowledge of the issue, so maybe that's completely naive.
• Combat oppression. Can this not be done within the United States? The historic and ongoing fights for racial and gender equality, LGBT+ rights etc, don't revolve around separation and forming black only, or gay only nations, but solving the issue across the country, and establishing strong constitutional and legal protections, and pushing for cultural change.

​
Obviously it seems I am against tribal sovereignty, but these are just my first impressions from reading articles that don't actually provide much detail about the issues surrounding Native Americans. I know this sub generally has the same globalist perspective (even if not wanting a world government), so if anyone can provide any good information, I'd be grateful.

The Legion had arrived at New Rome - or rather, the rest of it had, with Cato and his Senators having governed with their skeleton crew through the days since the Dam, Legatus Lanius' marching columns finally became visible on the horizon on the coattails of their victory at the Dam and the NCR's withdrawal from the region.
Notably present at the head of this column alongside Lanius, however, is Caesar himself - in the flesh, without any disguise, clad in his armour and laurels, with his shocksword on his side. With thousands of Legionaries behind him, this was the long march to his prize - to claim what stood before him.
When they arrived at the gates of New Rome, as many Legionaries as could fit, including the higher-ranked leadership such as Vulpes Inculta and Lucius, headed into McCarran to begin establishing court - much of the army took up their place in the old accomodation of the NCR, while those who couldn't fit began to erect a hasty tent city outside of McCarran. Once these initial setups were finished, Caesar took his closest associates - Lanius, Vulpes and Lucius, and entered the city.
Those inside, depending on their provenance, looked at him and his procession of frends and praetorians with either horror or admiration as he made the slow stroll through Freeside, past the School of Impersonation, and to the Strip's gate.
With his arms stretched wide, Caesar greeted the gate's securitrons with an ear-to-ear grin. "Legatus Domus!" He shouted. "At long last, I have my dam; and as promised, you have my Legion!" He announced, folding his arms behind him. "My men have settled in McCarran, where they and my court will remain in future. For the coming days, though, I'll be residing in Caesar's Palace to prepare for my triumph. I assure you, you'll enjoy the... festivities."
Sure enough, the next few days were a rush of activity as New Vegas was hastily overhauled into a suitable Nova Roma for Caesar's triumph. The Legionaries in McCarran set about decorating the Strip - a row of empty crosses along its main thoroughfare serving as an implication of victory, while avoiding all the 'brutality' that might nauseate House's cosmopolitan sensibilities. Those with the ability to do so set about making paintings and art pieces, while the officers rehearsed their drill formations at length. Messengers set about travelling to the corners of the Mojave to collect gifts from the Legion's 11 newest tribes, and right at the end of the Strip, outside of the former NCR embassy, a grand throne was constructed from scavenged armour, weapons and ammunition from the former NCR - standing easily five metres high, towering well above the Strip. Caesar, meanwhile, brushed up on his historical knowledge - this Triumph would be one to rival the greatest in Rome's history.
The day of the celebrations neared, and everything was in place. It was to take place at dawn, to symbolise the rise of a new era, and as the sun rose in the sky - the gates to Vegas crept open to welcome the triumphal procession...
Vegas' streets were filled with adoring Legionaries; those lucky enough to not be marching in the procession proper, as well as curious civilian onlookers from Vegas, who watched as the gate to Freeside slowly opened. The first individuals to walk through the gate were captured officials of the NCR, and of the tribes conquered in the Mojave. Colonel Hsu was notably present, along with the other officers from McCarran; as well as Elder McNamara and the Head Scribe of the Mojave chapter - with a collection of their more elite following behind as well. Then came tribal leaders; the Fiends' Motor-Runner, Pacer of the Kings - assuming the King had left him alive by now - Boone, from Novac, and others were present here, marching in chains with sullen expressions as they were showered with ironic cheers and bundles of laurel from the clamoring crowds.
After this procession of captured officers, their captured goods, displayed on litters carried by squads of recruit legionaries; A display of medals from the captured NCR officers, marking achievements in conflicts long before the Mojave. A display of captured plasma-weapons from the Brotherhood of Steel, and an intact suit of power armour. A pile of chems liberated from the fiends, which was set alight as the procession passed through. An old Elvis record from the School of Impersonation, and then various carts full of caps, NCR dollars and various other valuables. Following behind these, then, were artworks and paintings depicting scenes from the war - a scrap sculpture of Helios One, a collection of dinosaur figurines from Novac, a painting depicting Lanius storming the Dam.
After this procession of valuables, figures of importance to the Legion - Elder Hardin of the Mojave Chapter, a Securitron bearing Legatus Domus' visage, Lucius and Vulpes Inculta, Ghost Rider; the 80s' chief, and each of Caesar's praetorian guard were amongst those present in this stage of the procession. Each of these figures were clad in a crimson-red toga, carrying an approximation of a fasces - that is, a rifle surrounded by a bundle of wood - wreathed with laurel.
Behind them, Caesar himself - wearing a purple-and-gold toga and, indeed, his distinctive laurel wreath, waving to the crowd assembled. In place of the four-horse chariot that would typically carry a Roman emperor of old, Caesar rode a motor-chariot liberated from the 80s, the motorcycle that pulled it roaring as he revved the throttle and kicked gas-smoke into the air. On the chariot with him was Legatus Lanius, looking as stalwart as ever, and clad only in his usual armour. From time to time he would lean in to Caesar's ear, whispering something imperceptible to the crowd.
"Memento Mori."
Directly behind Caesar, in place of the two white oxen that would be sacrificed to Jupiter, were two Arizona veterans - clearly old and grizzled, and long past their prime, they were the only men in the whole procession to be armed, each of them carrying a machete as they walked totally naked before the procession.
Behind these men came the Legions - and indeed, the longest part of the procession. Column after column of marching legionaries in descending order of rank, led by their respective decanii, followed behind Caesar - chanting "Io Triumphe!" all the way, and singing baudy songs at Caesar's expense. "O, Caesar Imperator / Laying in bed, with a whore! / Survived a deadly tumour / and lost his sense of humour!"
The procession took hours to slowly walk through Freeside and onto the strip, giving everybody in town plenty of time to admire Caesar's conquest. Finally, though, he arrived at his throne and dismounted his motor-chariot, strolling along the front of the procession and ascending the steps, taking his seat and raising an arm to still the noise of the crowd.
The two naked, sacrificial legionaries strolled to the front of the procession, standing in front of Caesar. Wordlessly the two kneeled before the throne and raised their gladii out before them. Caesar watched as the two of them spoke in unison, dedicating their sacrifice to the honour of the divine Caesar's victory, and to the glory of his father, Mars.
They plunged their blades into their stomachs, making a clean sideways cut and spilling their guts onto the pavement, slumping forth as the life left them, the raucous procession of Legionaries singing praises for their bravery and honour.
Caesar cleared his throat and looked out at the procession - the time had come to begin the awaring of honours and titles from his victory. "Legatus Domus," he commanded, "Present yourself."
A securitron rolled from the sides of the procession, bearing House's face, and stood before the throne, where Caesar looked down at him. "Domus, you have proven yourself a stalwart and reliable ally in this crucial war, and you are more than deserving of the official conferment of the title of Legatus, along with all the responsibilities and honours that status grants to you. The Legion entrusted to you is the Legio I Novaroma, comprising any forces that I see fit to station in the Mojave and surrounding regions. In addition to the title of Legatus, you are granted with the title Praefectus Urbi - prefect of the city; you are to be responsible for the day-to-day management of New Rome, including the organising of festivals and games on holidays and other occasions that you may see fit to do so - in time, I will solidify the formation of the Roman senate, and from there we will speak about what position, if any, you will hold there. You may return to the procession."
As the Securitron left, it was draped with a laurel crown by an attendant, before Caesar called up the next of his procession - Elder Hardin.
"Centurion Symmachus, you have shown to be a tenacious fighter, willing to take the fight to the NCR for what you believe in. For your admirable performance and loyalty, I give to you and your Brotherhood; the Symmachiarii, Helios One. You will stand as Centurion and governor of the Helios One power plant and the Hidden Valley base, where your men may govern it as they see fit, so long as the power is directed here to New Rome. I confer upon you and your symmachiarii the right to defend the technology of the pre-war where it may be found, to ensure it does not fall into unfit hands. As with Legatus Domus, you may be eligible to stand on the Roman Senate when it is created - you may return to the procession."
Caesar went on like this for some time - as well as Elder Hardin being solidifed as a Centurion, the King was granted the title of Centurion Rexus, with his purview being over Freeside and the men stationed there. Ghost Rider of the 80s was granted the title of Centurion Spiritus; Mortimer of the White Gloves was granted the title of Centurion Carnis, and so on and so forth.
This period of the Triumph went on for hours, with Caesar personally conferring all manner of major and minor honours to those who assisted throughout the battle. When this finally concluded, Caesar rose for a final proclamation.
"And upon myself, I confer my true, full name - Caesar Jupiter Stator, Imperator of New Rome. Let it be known that all who rule New Rome after me will take upon themselves the name of Caesar, with the names they choose to append onto this being of their own design. And, let it be known here for the first time - the man to rule New Rome when I am no longer capable, or at such a time as I no longer live - is Lucius, my praefectus praetorii."
A hush fell over the crowd as everybody turned to face Lucius, who waved proudly to those surrounding. Lanius, from his position on the motor-chariot that had carried Caesar in, directed a burning glare at the back of Lucius' head at the proclamation. That throne was to be his when Caesar died, not Lucius' - he was the strongest, he had earned it by right of blood - and this was nothing more than an offense in his name.
"And to my most decorated man of honour;" Caesar cut through the silence, directing his gesture at the Scourge of the East. "I send you whence you came, that you might enjoy a more luxurious posting than the frontline conditions to which you have become accustomed. I give to you, Legatus Lanius, command of the Legio IV Denver, that you might guide it to glory in these coming days, and oversee our expansion eastwards."
Caesar stepped down from his throne, to join the days-long festivities that would begin in the casinos. And as the crowd cheered in the glory of Caesar and Lucius and Lanius, only two words echoed in the Monster's skull.
LANIUS
IMPERATOR
LANIUS
IMPERATOR
LANIUS IMPERATOR

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 58%. (I'm a bot)

Simpson "Is a well-known public figure," Cosmopolitan attorneys said in court documents filed Jan. 14, and media reports that Simpson was "Wasted," "Disruptive" or "Angry" could not have resulted in "Tangible damage to his reputation."
Simpson blames unnamed hotel staff for telling celebrity website TMZ that he was prohibited from returning to the Cosmopolitan in November 2017.
Simpson's lawyer, Malcolm LaVergne, responded with a Monday court filing labeling the Cosmopolitan argument "Immoral" and invoking the history of two landmark U.S. Supreme Court decisions regarding race - the 1857 Dred Scott ruling denying full citizenship to African Americans and Plessy v. Ferguson, a 1898 case upholding the idea of segregated "Separate but equal" facilities.
LaVergne denied Wednesday he was, in his words, "Playing the race card." Still, he alleged "Undertones that are very disturbing" of bias by defendants the Cosmopolitan and corporate owner Nevada Property 1 LLC."What are they saying? Anyone can do anything and say anything against him?" LaVergne said of the company attitude toward Simpson.
Nevada parole officials visited Simpson the next day and determined he had not violated probation, according to Simpson's lawsuit.
Simpson, a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, was acquitted in Los Angeles in the slayings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and Ronald Goldman.

Summary Source | FAQ | Feedback | Top keywords: Simpson^#1 Cosmopolitan^#2 court^#3 LAS^#4 judge^#5
Post found in /news.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.

So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and R. Lee Ermey? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease.
If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas.
However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm platinum on AA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean.
We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me.
Anyways, onto the play by play.
Monday, January 16th. One day before SHOT show.
http://imgur.com/a/HoFUm
Every time I've been rejected by a woman, I move $1 from checking into savings and I take the bankroll down to the Wynn for some play. Lets do this.
The TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA.
I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to DFW. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with Delta to being in an abusive relationship with AA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, UA is a few gates over. This trip's light reading is trying to finish "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell. Such a good book as well as "Outliers" if you want a good read.
I walk up to the podium to find out that my upgrades do not clear, even as an AA Plat thanks to the addition of a FOURTH elite tier. Goddamn fucking W. Doug Parker. Asshole. I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks. The gate agent calls concierge key and executive platinum passengers. I look down and realize I'm wearing a suit and board with the executive platinum folks because I do not care and I look the part. If you walk with a purpose and are dressed reasonably well, you fit the profile. I settle into my window seat and try to finish outliers. I pass out before takeoff and I'm awoken by the dulcet tones of the flight attendants preparing for landing. We land at Dallas a few minutes early and I hightail it to the Centurion for a quick bite to eat. I grab a plate and help myself to some of the excellent brisket, pecan encrusted chicken and some roasted jumbo asparagus. Yes, my pee is going to smell funny. No, I do not care. The lounge is packed. The bar is full and I grab a quick single malt as I have my meal since American's not going to feed me. They begin boarding to Mccarran as I walk out of the lounge. No time for a stop in the spa on this trip. I make it to the gate just as the call group 2 boarding.
I bypass the main line and walk up through the priority line giving no heed to the people that have been waiting there before me as I hold up my paper boarding pass with PLATINUM to the gate agent. I board and take my usual seat - the exit row without the seat in front of it. I'm aghast to see this sight.
http://imgur.com/a/dygil
The savages. Literally. The savages.
I put my loathing away for a moment and look down at the exit row. I have the window. The aisle is a large middle aged man and in the middle is what I believe to be a formecurrent linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys wearing a 52 regular sports jacket. He's not a fat guy in a little coat, he's a big fucking hulk of a man stuffed in an exit row seat that is already an inch narrower due to the tray table. I grimace as I take my seat and give him the manly nod. He does not look happy about the fact that his knees are in the seat in front and I'm stretched out like a Cheshire cat in front of a fireplace on a cold January afternoon.
The boarding door closes for an on time departure and Stephanie the FA takes her seat. He leans over and asks if he can take the empty row across the aisle and she takes one look at the three of us and gives him the nod. I bail out to give him a path of egress and suddenly the trip to Las Vegas has just become way more comfortable. I finish The Tipping Point somewhere over west texas, so I pop a xanax and dr pepper and zone out for the rest of the ride. I awake to feel one of the FA's jostling me awake telling me to put my seat up. I do so and we have a ride so smooth that not even the Delta guy behind me can complain about light chop. We catch the TYSSN4 arrival and the next thing I know it the Messier Dowty landing gear of the A321 touch the paint at Mccarran for a smooth rollout down 25L.
My phone battery is approaching grim death since this seat has no power plugs and I find bartman383 has sent me a message. He has been enjoying LV with his wife and their due to bad weather they are in the city of sin for a few extra nights. He invites me to dinner. I'm still pretty full from DFW and I tell him I'll be over there once I get my bags and the car and I'll see him when I see him. He gives me the info for the hotel as we pull up to the gate.
First stop: Centurion lounge. AA's app tells me bags being unloaded. I grab a quick bite of fried chicken and brussels sprouts since they are good for you and a chocolate pudding. The brisket and pecan encrusted chicken from DFW still has me full but I'm well aware of the speed of a union baggage handlers nowadays and who doesn't like chocolate pudding? Terrorists. That's who. Want to know how to screen for terrorists TSA? Set up a table of free chocolate pudding at the airport. The people who don't take any are members of ISIS. It's just that simple.
I grab my bag and hoof it to Hertz. I'm an idiot and I am an hour late for my pickup. Oops. Will an Audi A3 suffice? I sigh and I accept my Teutonic quattro chariot. I do a burnout in the parking garage and hightail it to the exit. I flash my #1 card and my ID and the gatekeeper gives me the go ahead. I get onto the the strip and traffic is awful. I'm going to be late for dinner. I make a left onto Russell Road and hightail it up the 15. I manage to get the car up to 100 as I pass the Luxor. My phone is dead so I can't message Bart about being late. Fuck. The exit approaches quickly as I put the 4 wheel disk brakes to work and sling the car around and head south on Las Vegas Bl. I accidentally turn into the Bellagio and I'm now running even more late. Fuck. Eventually, I get the car into the garage at the Cosmopolitan and head upstairs. I cannot remember the name of the restaurant but I head up to the third floor where all the restaurants are and I see this sign that's reminiscent of my days in retail.
It says RESTAURANT - LOUNGE - PAWN SHOP.
I laugh. I walk in. It's literally a pawnshop. I look around puzzled.
FC: Is this a restaurant?
Bald Headed Guy: Yes, through that door.
He points towards a door. I walk in to find a bustling restaurant, lounge via the entrance of pawnshop. This is insane. I pass a mirror and check myself out. I adjust my tie, after all it is YSL and the ladies LOVE YSL. Remember that. I find the hostess and inform her I will be joining some friends for dinner. They probably do not have me on the reservation though but I turn on the charm and she smiles and says no problem at all. She asks if my tie is from Hermes. I say no, I'm a YSL guy. She looks impressed as I tell her I'll make a quick lap of the room to see if they're there and surprise them. She gives me a nod and tells me to go right ahead. Still got it.
I spot bart and his wife who I can only remember vaguely from gunnitlive after party video and I pull up a chair. Bart is surprised to see I made it and they are in the middle of dinner. They offer to ply me with food and beverage but I decline as I'm driving so no booze for me and no food since I am stuffed from Dallas. We chat about life and liberty over libations. Bart's wife thinks I am hysterical. She's had a few drinks and they are already into their main courses. The brussels sprouts are way too salty and we have to send it back. No bueno.
Bart invites me up to his suite on the top floor of the hotel where we are to meet Brogelicious later in the evening. I say, when in rome......we head to the top floor of the hotel tower where Bart shows me his view from the balcony and cracks open the mini bar for some more libations. He asks if I want a drink and I say I better not. I'm driving.
Not 30 seconds after arriving, brogel shows up. Bart's wife hugs brogel. She's infatuated with him. We start shooting the shit and bart opens up the minibar and tells us to take anything we want, it's on the hotel. I laugh and I look outside as bart opens his yeti 110 for some silver bullets. Apparently he is so baller the hotel will send up a yeti 110 filled with beer to make him happy. His wife is apparently such a baller. I ball on a budget. They just ball. Hahaha.
We shoot the shit some more about guns, gun stuff and people on the reddit for a while. I get a little thirsty and I crack open bart's cooler. I ask him how long the stuff in the cooler is supposed to last and he says until Wednesday.
I look down and I am agape at what I see.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
I mentally prepared my butthole and I decided to help myself to a coors light against my wishes but Bart, Bart's wife and Brogel are all drinking so I let peer pressure take hold as I cracked open a beer with them. We head out to the balcony to smoke some cuban cigars together as bart's wife takes a photo of all of us. We all look like hell. Haha.
As bart downs his second beer, he asks me a question.
Bart: ever go hunting?
Me: Ducks a little bit but not much
Bart: ever want to hunt some deadly game?
Me: Like on african safari?
Bart: No, I mean like.........man.
Me: Hahahahhahaaha you're just fucking with me. Hahahahahhaa. That's really funny.
Bart: No really, the concierge here at this hotel will set it up for us. It's amazing. I remember my first hunt......
Brogel starts laughing and I realize they've been doing a bit. I've been had.
We bullshit about SHOT and Barrett's shotguns and other things and next thing I know, it's late but bart hands me a mixed drink. I sip it a bit and I was in the middle of a tirade complaining about my customers. Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the city, and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals? Nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about. It's cold on the balcony. Our cigars are done. We head indoors. No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastards will see them soon enough.
Back indoors I realize Brussels sprouts and coors light is a bad choice. Seriously no bueno. I excuse myself to the bathroom and drain the vein. The asparagus funny smelling pee and the side effects of beer and brussels sprouts is a noxious combination that a defense contractor should weaponize it. It's pretty bad and not even cuban tobbaco can mask the smell.
I sit back down and continue to talk about guns and stuff with bart and the gang and bart asks who ruined the bathroom. I apologize as he sprays a bunch of febreze around and opens the balcony. I apolgize to brogel. He is not accepting my apology. (sorry :( )
Nearly 11, it's about time to pull chocks and mosey on down the dusty trail. I don't want to prompt an evacuation of the hotel due to noxious odors so I decide to leave and bart seems to be kinda mad that I've ripped ass and polluted the sanctuary of his hotel. Half a coors light and brussels sprouts are no bueno in my book now. Bart decides to party hard with his wife and I offer brogel a ride home. He seems skeptical to share a confined space with me after I have just destroyed bart's hotel room. The car has 4 windows and the Uber will cost him a few bucks he can put towards ammo. He relents as we head down to the garage to find my car. Thankfully we find it quickly and I manage to contain the weapons of ass destruction for the 16 minute ride off strip to casa de brogel.
He says I'm not that bad a dude and I agree as I hightail it to my hotel. I cannot find my hotel reservations so I call my travel agent to see.
Apparently the Wynn was not in my travel budget this year. I have come to find out I have been booked at Circus Circus, much to my chagrin. How bad could it be? I've stayed at the Wynn. I've stayed at Encore. I've stayed at the hotel that Elisabeth Shue's character got raped in in Leaving Las Vegas - but Circus Circus? Did I mention that I HATE CLOWNS? I HATE CLOWNS. Fuck.
I pull into the parking garage and the check in line resembles something straight out of the TSA line at Mccarran. 45 minutes to check in. The clerk is friendly and says he's also from Louisiana which is neat. He asks if I've stayed there before and I, being a connoisseur of old vegas history I decide to make a joke and I tell him the last time I was there, Jay Sarno owned the place. He got a laugh. I head up to my room and unpack. The lobby is clean as an old vegas casino can be, the room is clean and there's no way to plug anything in since the hotel predates personal electronic devices. I plug my phone into my external battery and collapse on the bed. I message Bart and chugbleach instead of falling asleep about show tomorrow and I offer to pick bart up early since there is no shuttle from the cosmo.
Tuesday, November 16th SHOT Show Day One
I awoke several hours later in a daze......the clock said 10AM. The show opened at 8:30. Fuck me to tears. I hurry up and get dressed and down to the sands convention center. The parking lot is FULL. The entire complex is a mess. When my man Steve Wynn built his joint he didn't build enough parking. So people would park at the Venetian and now FUCKING NOBODY CAN GET A PARKING SPACE. Holy shit. I eventually say fuck it and park over at the Wynn and walk over to the Sands. I meet up with a few of my regular suppliers and I see nothing interesting at all. Bart went to bed at 6AM after spending all night partying with his wife over at the palazzo. I joke and say that he just should have stayed there. Bart is amazed at the size of the show and we have lunch at the most disgusting place in las vegas - the convention center bistro snack bar. Bart is a wise man as he grabs a powerade and a fruit cup. I decide to try an "italian beef" and a fruit cup instead of fries to stay semi health conscious. The "italian beef" is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. It is flat out depressing. They give me fries with it and I demand a fruit cup. The sassy black woman working the stand asks me "DID YOU ASK FOR FRUIT? CAUSE RIGHT HERE SAYS FRIES" and I channel my inner Louis CK from the "this is how I talk" bit from SNL as I shoot back "WHY YOU FRONTIN ON ME I ASKED FOR FRUIT AND YOUR ASS BETTER BACK UP AND GET ME SOME FRUIT" so she goes back and gets me some fruit.
The "italian beef", my fruit cup, bart's fruit cup and powerade comes to $81. My platinum amex comes out and I treat bart to "lunch". We bullshit about guns and stuff in the Springfield booth as we wait at the world's worst concession stand. We eat and Bart is so hungover that he thinks he is in need of physical therapy and a wheelchair. There is no way he is going to party tonight before his trip home. Or so I think. Haha.
I meander around the show a bit more and I find this, the most USELESS PRODUCT OF 2017. It's made by a company called radetec.
http://imgur.com/a/GOiCB
It's a shot counter. For your gun.
A digital odometer, for your gun.
The only person that would buy this is the guy like my dad that kept a spiral bound notebook in his car where he documented how many miles he traveled per tank, gallons dispensed, PRICE, service station and whether they had a different price for cash/charge, oil consumption, tire rotations, alignments, all services - scheduled or otherwise, and a running odometer. Does anyone know the gun owner who asks for a round count when they are looking at a used gun? The question I always shoot back is "do you want to be lied at a little or do you want to be lied at a lot?" because that's what you're asking for when you ask for round count.
UNLESS YOU BUY THIS PRODUCT!
I roll my eyes so far back into my head that I nearly lose my balance. This is idiotic. I cannot fathom anyone willing to buy this. What a waste of perfectly good exhibition space.
Bart heads back to his hotel after visiting SHOT show for a few hours, not getting any swag and to get an IV of fluids since he looked like he was rapidly approaching grim death.
I wrap up visiting prime vendors and checking out the new products, or lack thereof because I have something on the schedule. At 4:30 there's a suicide prevention for retailers seminar hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As many of you know this is an issue that is important to me and perhaps we as retailers should be doing more. The keynote was from their chief medical director talking about the accessibility of firearms and the mindset of the "typical" suicide. Mostly men. If you are a veteran you are at a significantly larger risk. The information was presented very not surprisingly and one of the things discussed was that we only spend around 21M a year on suicide prevention.
A few take away facts from the keynote:
When suicide barriers are put up on a bridge, suicide rates for the entire area drop. The key to preventing suicide is getting people to talk about their problems. Once you can get someone out of that mindset, they are statistically less likely to do it and live productive lives afterwards. There are certain terms that they are trying to get away from - for instance, they are not saying "committed suicide" they are now saying "died by suicide" in order to bring awareness and tell it like it is.
One thing that really was interesting to me was my reading on the flight in from Dallas. In The Tipping Point, Gladwell discusses how things stay the same and suddenly they all change. One of the things that he discusses is in micronesia - where teen suicide was practically unheard of became an outright epidemic. One teenager did it, for reasons passing understanding to me as an outsider and then all the other kids realized that they too could escape their pain by hanging themselves as well and suddenly the suicide rates in micronesia became so high to where it became a public health issue. I wish I could show you all the article I wrote on TTAG about my friend's death but it has been lost in the cloud and I am unable to find the last draft I sent to print, but it echoes some of the problems we have with suicide and mental health in the firearm industry.
After the keynote, the good doctor opened the floor up for questions. Her keynote posed a lot of statistics but not a lot of answers. I am a detail oriented granular data guy and I did not get a solid grasp of the AFSP solutions posed, if any.
Several firearm dealers discussed the lack of a cohesive solution and the takeaway was they're trying to develop awareness for the suicide problem. Their goal is to lower suicide rates but how they get there is yet to be determined. I didn't like hearing that and the comments from the crowd reflected the lack of a "here's what you can do TODAY to help this problem" part of the initiative.
Going around the room, one dealer who used NICS said that if a customer was just flat out acting funny - he'd lie to the customer and say there was a delay with NICS even though there was an approval just to get them to not be able to have a gun for a few days. The crowd applauded this initiative, however I'm not sure lying to customers is the best way to run a business and treat them with respect. Another dealer brought up an interesting point. When someone comes in looking to buy a gun and they don't know what kind of gun they want, what caliber, and are generally clueless - they're either buying a gun to kill themselves with, OR perhaps they are a very uneducated prospective customer - and there is no clear way of finding out which is which.
The problems presented by the AFSP are real. The solutions aren't there though. Yet. Ideally I'd like to see some change to that. However, there's some problems.
I hung around and asked the good doctor and her staff some questions and I am in no way denigrating her life's work and her dedication to preventing suicide since she has dedicated her life's work to the issue, but the conversation went something like this.
Did you do any research on the accessibility of firearms from a retailer from the legal standpoint?
"No, we haven't"
Do you know how the NICS or state POC background systems work in regard to mental health holds, etc?
"No"
One of the problems that I foresee right off the bat is that you talked about how you are fighting time, and if you can get someone out of that suicide mindset - even for a few hours, you can get them into that higher survival bracket. If we apply a one size fits all solution to it like California and put a 10 day wait on everything with the goal of protecting someone from their own life, how do we balance that with the needs of the woman who has been hiding from her abusive spouse and needs a gun right away?
"That's a good question that I don't have an answer for."
Their initiative, I admire - the lack of solutions is a little off putting however. I tell the doc about how my friend's suicide has impacted me and she seems to be sympathetic to the situation as does her colleagues. I am given her cards and told to call the next time I'm in New York so we can get together and discuss things within the industry. I'll give them a buzz in a few weeks when I'm up there on business. On my way out of the hall, I run into Massad Ayoob. Nice guy. I've admired his work over the years. Bart invites myself and chugbleach to dinner, I can't reach Chug and even though I am beat I decide to hang out with Bart and Mrs Bart
Bart: What do you want to eat?
FC: Let's find a nice seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon, I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
I begin vomiting.
God damn mescaline. Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
We eventually head downstairs and order too much food. We are tired and not very hungry. Bart is still hungover and barely able to process food. His wife is grazing on all sorts of meat products. I am in awe of how they are both still upright after six nonstop nights of partying. I've only been here one day and I feel like I am about to die.
Dinner concludes with an awkward hug with bart's wife - I don't know how other men feel about wife hugs so I have just avoided the prospect entirely. Like flying through Denver on Frontier. Or flying on Frontier. Ever.
I drive over to the Wynn to set up my markers and the poker room is full. I draw a $2500 marker at the craps table and watch the game a bit. I have never played craps before in my life but the three people there seem to be having fun.
I look down at my phone and I realize a plane has landed. fluffy_butternut has landed in Las Vegas on business. I had lost a bet and offered to pick him up from the airport. I cash back in my chips against my casino credit and head back to my car. I cannot find my car. Fuck. I wander the wynn garage which is covered in construction debris. I eventually find it and haul ass to the airport. Now, I didn't know this but fluffy has the WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION AT ALL. Seriously. I have no idea how he even made it to the correct city. He lands and has to get his bag and stuff and I circle the airport. He lets me know he's at door 77 wherever the fuck that was. I drive into the pickup portion and I see no sign. He then says he's coming up a level, and I tell him that I'll be there shortly. I park the car and Metro PD starts yelling.
Metro: You can't park your car here.
FC: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Metro: Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk! This is the sidewalk!
I give the man a $20 and tell him to keep it running as I wander Mccarran screaming FLUFFY! HERE FLUFFY! I message fluffy to let him know I am the car parked on the sidewalk. I instantly figure out who he is having never seen a photo of him and I throw his bags into the car as we head for his hotel. I haul ass out of the airport and get the A3 on the highway.
Now this was a superior machine. Thirty nine grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand.
We check in at the Rio where the desk clerk is friendly and flirty. I express amazement there is no line. Fluffy checks in and we take his bags upstairs and he offers to buy me food for driving him to the airport. I decline. We head to the bar anyways. He orders two beers and we decide to call chug. He's staying out in Summerlin or something because his company is apparently run by cheapskates. He asks if we want to hang out and shoot the shit. I say sure and ask if he wants us to pick up food or anything from CVS or something since I have the car and I'm able to do anything I want. He asks for some toothpaste. No problem. I may be an asshole on the internet but I have a heart of gold. We get some toothpaste get to the hotel.
Arriving at the lobby, we have no idea where he is. It turns out he gave us the address for the hotel across the street. We laugh and go to that lobby and shoot the shit till 3AM much to the chagrin of the hotel clerk. Fluffy has some beers and we plan on dinner the next day. I drive fluffy back and arrive at the hotel at 4. Fuck me to tears.
Wednesday, January 18th. Day 2 of SHOT show.
Alarm goes off at 7:30 AM. I wash up, eat and get breakfast. In the garage by 8:15. Nice. I get some dillo dust and check out the new Sig 220 DA/SA and SAO legions. Daddy likey. I go to a competing firm and I piss of my state sales manager by telling him his newer designed triggers suck ass. He says the company tested them and they're the same in every way. I ask him why the triggers have two different part numbers in the catalog and how come they're not interchangeable and if that's really the case, how come there's X changes in the supposedly identical pistol parts that he's holding side by side. He gets mad at me and says I'm not an expert on their product and perhaps I should take his job since I'm so smart. I agree that I'm smart and I hold firm that if he didn't want me to complain about the shitty trigger, they should stop selling guns with shitty triggers. I am nearly kicked out of the booth.
I meet up with some of my wholesale reps and I'm mid convo when I see Itsgoodsoup and his friend walking around the show. I yell SOUP but he does not hear me. So I grab his friend and find him and I tell him we should get together at dinner with fluffy and chug. He agrees.
The show winds down, I get some business done and nothing much else. We break for a shitty gunnit live lite and I take a few questions from the crowd in fluffy's suite at the Rio. Dinner is at 8 and we arrive at the restaurant late to find soup and his friend sitting at one table and chug and his girlfriend sitting at another. Perhaps we should have gotten here a little earlier. Hahaha. So, fluffy said the place is really good and I order a few of the specialties of the house. Apparently according to yelp they do a kickass peking duck. Soon to be mrs chug is a vegan. But we can eat meat in front of her. I wonder how it's served and Soup's vancouver raised asian friend tells me that they normally carve it tableside. Our vegan says as long as there's no head she's cool. We're not sure if they can fulfill that request. So we order and food starts coming out and we tell tall tales of shot show BS and other stuff. Sure enough, the duck comes out with the head. No bueno. Haha. But I decide to treat us to vegan donuts at the vegan bakery across the street later. Seven courses later we are full. Vegan bakery closed. I am committed to getting her some vegan donuts though. We head to Fremont street to gamble. Fluffy wanders about and we try craps and we're not impressed. We hit some slots and eventually I hit the craps table where chug explains the game to me. We start betting on dice. And somehow we start winning. I find that the house allows you to take 10X behind the line. No idea what this means so I plop $5 on the pass line and the point hits 6. I drop $50 behind it and it hits. We go a few rounds and leave ahead. It's 2:30 AM. Fuck. I drive everyone back to their hotel. I get to sleep around 4.
Thursday, January 19th. Day 3 of SHOT show.
Wake up at 10AM feeling like crap. Debate whether to head straight to show and wander about. Fuck it. Went to halal guys for some halal. Delicious. Got vegan donuts. Dead drop them at the Palazzo lobby for chug and his girl. Show is a bust. Literally nothing exciting. Fluffy offers to buy me dinner. One of my customers who lives in Summerlin offers to take me to dinner. I pass on fluffy and he destroys the seafood buffet at the rio. I head to Sinatra at the Wynn for dinner with my customer. All good in the hood. Chug has been invited to the Glock dinneafter party and I'm not so we all go our separate ways. I call foghorn5950 and due to some weather, he's flying home early and our plans to hangout are fucked up unless I go tonight. I grab fluffy and we head to Whiskey Down. He orders a makers and I give him a funny look. I tell the waitress make it a bulleit. Everyone laughs. I talk shop with Jeremy also from TTAG and we shoot the shit over cigars and talk about useless products. Next thing we know, chug is out of the dinner and wandering the strip. We decide to meet up at the Linq. It takes us nearly 30 minutes to get out of Whiskey Down at MGM because the waitress was awful and messed up everyone's tab. It was a fucking disaster. To boot, MGM is now charging for parking.
FC: What a bunch of fucking jews
Fluff: You should just tailgate that lady in front of you out and screw them out of the $7
FC: I should
We pull behind her and watch as she gets flustered at the awful parking machine. Her nevada license plate says VETERAN. As the gate goes up we haul ass and screw MGM out of $7. I shout "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE" out the window as we blow right by her up to the Linq. Through fluffy's awful navigation, we wind up at the loading dock for the Linq. Eventually we find chug and gf hanging at the penny slots. They are holding vegan donuts, which she is very appreciative of. Least I could do after showing her the head. Fluffy plays the House of Cards slot machine.
He stuck $100 in, played for 6 minutes and then got really mad and hit the cash out button and $80 was left after 5 minutes.
ITS EXACTLY LIKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!
Chug's gf asks to play a special slot machine called kitty glitter. We ask and the linq does not offer it but Harrahs next door does. So we head over there and the slot tech finds the kitty glitter machine. Fluffy sticks a C note in there and tells her to play and have a blast. So she's banging away at the one armed bandit WHEN SUDDENLY I HEAR THE SOUND.
It's PUTTIN ON THE RITZ in shitty .wav file internal speaker format. Hahah. She's just hit the progressive jackpot on the penny KITTY GLITTER machine. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! We cash out after some play and a good time was had by all. I dump off fluffy at the rio since it was very close and drive everyone else back. It's late, I'm tired and the Palace Station oyster bar is open 24 hours......I head over there and there's a 45 minute wait.
So, I pull out my backup bankroll and using everything chug and fluffy have taught me about craps I belly up to the $3 min table where they let you take 10x behind the line. I'm still learning and the table is slow so one of the boxmen start explaining the game to me.
Box: So if you place the 6 or the 9 or individual numbers you can bet those but you gotta pay a little juice on it like a commission
Me: Like when you buy the hook?
short pause
Box: Yeah! Exactly like that! You got this!
So I played a little and went up a bit and down a bit. As you do. Plunked $5 down on the pass line and took full odds and the point hit. This game is pretty cool! So I hung around and watched for about an hour and finally decided to eat my winnings. I take $5 off my stack and, drop it on the pass line and announce dealer bet - $5 to pass. It hits. The dealers love me.
Maybe Vegas isn't so bad after all.
http://imgur.com/a/LGhDj
I have the pan roast at the oyster bar. No line. It is DELICIOUS. I get back to the hotel at 5AM. I don't care when I wake up.
Friday, January 20th. Day 4 of SHOT show.
Wake up around noon feeling like crap. Go to show. Debate destroying milk cart with wheels with an ax borrowed from fire station. Decide against it. Gas up car and find myself out by palace station again. Played some craps, hit the buffet and went for an early sleep.
It's midnight. The neighbors in my the hotel are having sex. A LOT OF SEX. I can hear everything. I gently knock on the door. No answer. I knock slightly harder. No answer. I head back to my room and close the door just as I hear their door open. I zoom back out to find a puzzled middle aged stocky and perhaps sticky Latino man looking both ways.
I get in his line of sight.
Me: Hey. I'm next door. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun. I get it. I really do. In fact I haven't had sex since the bush administration so I'm gunning for you man I really am. But it's midnight and I have a 6am flight and a rental car to return. So trust me when I say I'm really happy for you but if you don't mind I really need to get some sleep tonight okay?
The awkward silence is deafening. He nods without saying a word and mouths okay. I give him a manly nod and thumbs up.
Me: thanks. I'd shake your hand or fist bump but well you know.....
I give him a peace sign as he goes back into his little pleasure palace and I turn to realize that I have just locked myself out of my room. I am wearing boxers, a tshirt and barefoot. I head downstairs to the lobby. The check in at the front desk resembles the TSA line at Mccarran. Normally I would not be this rude but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The line is 50 people deep. I walk past every person. Fuck your queue. I approach the desk where someone is helping a guest and I raise my right hand as if I were in a deposition to get them to stop. The staff and guest looks puzzled as the angry barefoot man clad in nothing but boxers and a "uzi does it" tshirt approaches the desk.
Me: excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I have an emergency. I'm up on 8 and my neighbors are having a lot of sex. I mean a LOT of sex.
(This is the same front desk clerk who actually checked me in Monday night by coincidence looks back at me very awkwardly and puzzled.)
Me: this isn't your regular sex. I'm talking this is your (I begin air humping the front desk and slapping the granite counter with my palm and grunting loudly) sex. You could hear the plan B packaging open.
At this point - the ENTIRE FRONT DESK STAFF HAS STOPPED CHECKING IN GUESTS. The people in line and are watching the show. The clerk is stunned. Speechless. Shock and awed. Crapped out and busted. The women are covering their children's eyes and ears. The men are wondering if this show requires a 2 drink minimum.
Me: now I get this is Vegas. Everyone wants a good time. It's midnight. My flight leaves at 6 which means I have to be up by 4. And this just isn't working. So I asked them to keep it down and I locked myself out of my room. So if you can make me another key or move me I'd appreciate it.
The clerk nods.
Clerk: of course. may I see your ID?
Years of ballet have prepared me for this day. I step back to make sure my genitals are still ensconced in my boxers as I pirouette and gesticulate wildly.
Me: DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ID?
The floor manager steps over and asks me to head down to the end of the desk where she will make me a key. I give her the room number and thank her after she offers to have security sent up to shutdown the best little whorehouse in Vegas. I tell her it may not be necessary. As I take my keys and walk away the people in line break out in raucous applause.
I take a bow and miraculously my boxer shorts don't rip. These people are my subjects and I have been crowned the the king of the three ring circus that is the circus circus lobby. Im offered a $1 tip from a kind soul but I decline.
My walk back to the hotel elevator bank is uneventful. So much so that I realize it is going too well. The other shoe, if I were wearing one felt as if it was about to drop. Suddenly a dumbass in a rascal scooter is heading toward me at flank speed as his head is turned to look at everyone BEHIND HIM. There's no way this will end well.
For you gentle readers joining us mid conversation - it's midnight and I need to be at the airport in 4.5 hours. I can just see it now. (Cue the harp noises)
Scene: Emergency room
Nurse: Allergic to anything? Me: NKDA Nurse: cause of injury? Me: what's the IC10 code for "run down by drunken buffoon on motorized wheelchair?"
I saw my life and confirmed upgraded first class seats home being given away by the Mccarran gate agent flash before my eyes and my catlike reflexes kicked in and I jumped to my left into the wall, mid 1960's Las Vegas union construction being the path of least resistance. Think "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner.
The buffoon barely realizes what happens. Children are amazed. "HEY MOM! Look! That guy just ran into a wall!"
Me: it was that OR GET RUN DOWN BY SOME JACKASS ON A GODDAMN SCOOTER GOING FULL SPEED DRIVING LIKE A....
I look down and a midwestern nuclear family with two children of formative age are waiting for the elevator. I change my last word.
Me: LUNATIC!
I look over to the parents.
Me: I'm really sorry. This is a family joint and I shouldn't have cursed the drunken scooter driver like that. Sorry kids.
Parent: no big deal. They've heard fucking worse.
I crack a smile at her word choice. Fucking worse. Yeah. That sounds like my evening.
After jumping into a wall, I'm now wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I make the plane and push on time. The 737 comes to a stop short of the runway and holds. Something is wrong. The pilots come on and say that they loaded more cargo and passengers than planned so they have to redo their numbers. We're waiting on the taxiway with both engines running as they do this and the waiting music comes on. What's the first song?
Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You"

Hi guys! Here are the girls from Cycle 4. From this cycle onward, I’ll be adding the 🔒 emoji just to let you guys know if their social medias are set to private (in case y’all wanna check them out).
 
  Name: Brita Wald, née Petersons Placed: 14th Age: 38 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: 289 (@britawald) 🔒 Brita Petersons on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 In hard pursuit of a modeling career, Brita auditioned for and was selected as one of the 14 Finalists on America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4. Although Brita is remarkably beautiful, the judges were concerned with her age (she was already 25 years old when she entered the competition) and weight (she weighed in at 138 lbs.). After the first photo shoot, she and Brandy Rusher landed in the bottom two during the judging session, and ultimately, the judges decided to keep Brandy and to send Brita home. She was the first girl eliminated from Cycle 4.
  POST-TOP MODEL After she was eliminated, Brita received a modeling contract with Ford Models. Since then, she has gone on to model for magazines like Brentwood magazine, Surfers Magazine, The San Gabriel Valley Tribune, Los Angeles Times Magazine and California Apparel News Lingerie magazine, of which she was the cover. She also dazzled on the runway show of Eisbar and modeled for famous fashion designers Vince and Nanette Lepore, as well as brands such as Eisbar and Juicy Couture. In 2003, she enrolled at the California State Polytechnic University-Pomona for her Master’s Degree, where she majored in Sports Nutrition. Sometime after the show, she got married to Ryan Wald and together they have 2 sons: Lukas and Markus.
  Brita has signed with Ford Models - Los Angeles and Vue Model Management. Not much else is known about her these days, aside from the fact that it looks like she has focused on her family.
  Name: Sarah Dore, née Dankelman Placed: 13th Age: 34 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: N/A Sarah Dankleman on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 When she tried her luck in America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4, Sarah was complimented for her first photo shoot. However, runway coach J. Alexander came in during the third week to teach the girls how to walk properly, it was pretty clear that Sarah was the one who experienced the most difficulty. The way she walked was awkward and lacking in poise, and the judges were quick to jump at those flaws. The judges sent Sarah home after only three weeks, making her the second finalist to be eliminated.
  POST-TOP MODEL Right after she was eliminated, Sarah expressed her shock and disbelief, saying that she felt she had much more potential than most of the other girls in the competition. She eventually recovered from her disappointment and went on to appear on Spike TV and in various fashion catalogues. She also spent one summer traveling and worked as a make-up artist for MAC cosmetics.
  In Aug 2009, she married Eric Dore. Together, they have 4 beautiful daughters. Right now, she and her husband live in Skohegan, Maine. Sarah has not pursued modeling actively. I’m not entirely sure what she’s up to these days. All I know is that before living in Maine, she and her husband worked as bartenders in Hackensack, New Jersey.
  Name: Brandy Rusher Placed: 12th Age: 33 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: 77 (@LavielleMonet) Instagram Followers: 2,453 (@brandyrusher) Brandy Rusher on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 When Brandy Rusher was a finalist on America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4, she showed a lot of promise in the beginning, but as the weeks progressed, it became apparent to everyone that Brandy had a bit of an attitude problem. During the first photo shoot with noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker, Brandy’s impatience and complaints angered Nigel, which led the judges to place Brandy in the bottom two. She was spared from elimination, but the experience did not seem to affect Brandy that much, as she continued to act rudely towards the other girls in the group. After the third photo shoot, the frustrated Brandy verbally attacked her fellow Top Model finalist Tatiana Dante. Later on, Brandy was again placed in the bottom two, but this time around, the judges decided that they were fed up with her attitude, so they sent her packing. Brandy was the third contestant to be eliminated.
  POST-TOP MODEL After appearing on the show, Brandy realized that even though she looked like a model, getting a job was a whole different story. However, Brandy’s experience on the show did awaken her to her flaws, and while she is still pursuing a career in modeling, she is also busy reinventing herself. Brandy has taken test shots, but has not been picked up by an agency.
  Brandy graduated from Houston Community College in 2009, where she majored in Fashion Design. She was arrested in Houston for resisting arrest in 2010. Police knocked on her door to address complaints of loud music. She reportedly "pushed, shoved and cursed at" the responding officers and attempted to flee the scene. In 2016, she gave birth to her son, Cohen. In March 2017, she was involved in a shooting that put her in the ICU in critical condition (She’s fine now). Two people were killed in the incident.These days, she’s started her own braiding business, Braids w/ Phlava.
  Name: Noelle Staggers Placed: 11th Age: 33 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 9 (@noelle_staggers) Instagram Followers: N/A Noelle Staggers on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 During the fifth week, it was Noelle who first sounded the alarm about Michelle Deighton’s skin condition. She even called her mother to tell her about it. Later on, Michelle’s skin disease was treated and, while she was spared from the bottom two, Noelle found herself there with Lluvy Gomez. The judges felt that Noelle did not possess the look of a model, may it be in photographs or in person. Ultimately, the judges chose Lluvy over Noelle and immediately sent the latter home.
  POST-TOP MODEL Since the show, Noelle has busy taking care of her son and is cultivating her rediscovered passion for music. She has taken some test shots since the show, but has not been signed with an agency. In 2013, she got engaged. Not much else I could find after that. Her facebook has either been abandoned or private, no instagram, and her twitter’s been abandoned after a few tweets.
  Name: Lluvy Gomez Placed: 10th Age: 34 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 3 Twitter Followers: 859 (@lluvyg) Instagram Followers: 5,451 (@lluvy) Lluvy Gomez on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 Lluvy became one of the America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4‘s most infamous contestants when Tyra Banks evaluated one of her photos as “the worst photo in the history of America’s Next Top Model.” She did get a chance to redeem herself in an episode of The Tyra Banks Show when she was allowed to perform a do-over of the shoot. Tyra called her new photo “amazing”. However, the judges’ patience ran out with Lluvy after she again failed to maximize her unique beauty during the fifth photo shoot, where the girls were asked to project themselves under simulated harsh weather conditions. She was the fifth contestant to be eliminated.
  POST-TOP MODEL Since appearing on the show, Lluvy has gone on to work under Passport Model Management, and has done modeling projects for JEM Sportswear and armoursansanguish.com. She graced the cover and done print work for Stork Magazine, Bride Nouveau Magazine, Mom’s Advice Magazine, Glam Couture Magazine, Friends & Fauxs: A Novel, Today's Bride San Francisco, No. 915 Cosmetics, Supermodels Unlimited, My Breast Friend, Spellbound Crowns, Betabrands,and Fashion Xchange Magazine. She has walked in runway shows such as Style in A Bottle Event and Donovan’s Fashion Show for Jason Christopher Peters. In 2007, she opened a coffee shop with her ex-husband.
  Lluvy married Carl Gibbs in July 2006. While she was pregnant, Their first born son, Asher, was born in March 2007. The Expecting Models Agency gave her and her baby a modeling contract. She’s gave birth to her second child in July of 2010. Sometime after the birth of their second child, the couple split up. In 2013, she started seeing Mikael, her current boyfriend. She is currently signed to NYLO Model & Talent Agency, as well as SAG-AFTRA. She is currently a distributor at SeneGence International.
  Name: Tiffany Richardson Placed: 8th/9th Age: 33 First Call Outs: 1 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: N/A Tiffany Richardson on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 Tiffany wanted to jumpstart her modeling career by joining Cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model. However, she did not progress to the next stage of the competition. She was given a second chance and Tiffany found herself becoming a Finalist on America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4. At first, Tiffany tried her best to get along with the other girls, and she was able to establish a close relationship with Brandy. However, as the weeks progressed and the pressure mounted, Tiffany slipped back to her old self, aggressively attacking the other girls verbally. During the sixth week of the finals, Tiffany broke down after failing to read a teleprompter properly in one of the challenges. Tyra expressed her disappointment, and ultimately Tiffany, along with Rebecca Epley, were eliminated (the double elimination was the first in the show’s history). When Tyra saw that Tiffany seemed to be taking the elimination lightheartedly and with little concern, the supermodel judge exploded in anger, saying that the only person Tiffany can blame for her failure is herself.
  POST-TOP MODEL Since appearing on the show, Tiffany has continued to find work as a model. She was in two music videos, one for Dre’s, “Naomi,” and the other for Urban Mystic’s, “I Refuse.” She has also appeared on the cover of Passion International hair magazine and done print work for MAMi Magazine, Strongarm Angels, MQTease Magazine, Veneno Swimwear, Platinum Strong, and Buzzfeed. When Tiffany’s contract with America’s Next Top Model expired, Tyra Banks was seen criticizing Tiffany again when the E! True Hollywood Story: America’s Next Top Model was aired on national television.
  Tiffany and her husband Chad have a 14-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter. She works a normal 9-to-5 job at a group home in Miami assisting people with mental disabilities. Today Richardson does occasionally find time to work with a local photographer, but modeling isn't something she's prioritizing. “I’ve been doing a couple of different photo shoots, and it’s like a learning process too,” she said happily, noting she has gone to some networking events. “And then I’m just getting my body fit … but I work, I live in the real world.” Source.
  Name: Rebecca Epley Placed: 8th/9th Age: 35 First Call Outs: 1 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: 25 (@RebccaEpley) Instagram Followers: N/A Rebecca Epley on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 The aspiring model from Stillwater, Minnesota tried to establish herself by auditioning for America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 2. She was rejected, but her determination led her to try out again. Her second attempt was successful, and she became one of the 14 finalists of America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4. Although her beauty is undeniable, the judges felt that she wasn’t progressing, and after six photo shoots and numerous challenges, she and Tiffany Richardson were asked to pack their bags immediately and head home. The news devastated Rebecca, as she clearly tried her best to deliver what the judges were looking for. Some may remember Rebecca because she passed out during judging, due to a health condition she’s had all her life.
  POST-TOP MODEL Initially after the show, she was working under VNY Model Management, but decided to end her contract with the said modeling agency because she felt she wasn’t getting enough modeling jobs. In 2007, Rebecca appeared in the TV film Reality Revealed: Beauty and the Geek. In February of 2008, Rebecca and her husband had their first child, a son named Evan. Rebecca was once signed with 2 Management, a sub-agency of ID Model Management. Rebecca also appeared in a cycle 8 photo shoot, where the contestants had to recreate famous moments from past cycles of America’s Next Top Model.
  Her jobs included modeling for Cosmopolitan Magazine and Tommy Hilfiger and doing fashion shows for Wal-Mart Clothing, Escada, Multi By Bree Spring and Renee Larc for Milan Spring/Summer. She has also done print work for Fashion by Rainn, Metro Magazine, Nigel Barker’s Beauty Equation, Wild Harvest Food, Magnolia and Vine, Mystic Lake Casino and Hotel, Stillwater Gazette, Max & Me, Theme Collection, Evereve Clothing, The Good Bead | Lotti Dotties Collection, Ribnick Fur & Leather, Coco + Carmen, and Ribnick Luxury Outerwear. She’s walked the runway for Nicole Romano’s Ready To Wear (Spring/Summer 2006), Renee Larc for Milan (Spring 2007), and Escada (Fall/Winter 2007). Rebecca is currently signed with Mercenary Models in Minnesota.
  Name: Tatiana Dante Placed: 7th Age: 31 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: 698 (@tatidante) 🔒 Tatiana Dante on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 Like fellow Top Model finalist, Kahlen Rondot, Tatiana was quiet and soft-spoken during her stint at America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4. Her reserved personality did not always sit well with the more rambunctious girls in the group, but her talent in modeling pushed her all the way to the Top 6. Tatiana was able to deliver good and satisfactory photographs, but when she wasn’t able to do great during the “7 Deadly Sins” photo shoot, the judges decided that she would have to be the next to go home, making her the eighth to be eliminated.
  POST-TOP MODEL After her appearance on the show, Tatiana moved to New York City in pursuit of bigger modeling jobs. She has had several photo shoots with different photographers, some of which were done in the nude. She has also appeared in Metro International NY and People Magazine’s Celebrity Baby Blog. Much of Tatiana’s print work was completed out of Hawaii.
  In May 2008, Tatiana married Robert Evans. Sometime after, Tatiana and her husband welcomed their first child, a daughter, Tiavani Leialoha Dante-Evans. Tatiana currently resides in Vancouver, British Columbia and is not with an agency.
  Name: Michelle Deighton Placed: 6th Age: 32 (Going on 33 on Dec 8) First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: N/A Michelle Deighton on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 As a finalist on Cycle 4, Michelle greatly impressed the judges with her versatility and talent. While on the show, Michelle came down with a skin condition called impetigo, and her condition led the other girls to panic because they thought Michelle had a contagious, flesh-eating bacteria. Because the disease may be passed on to little children, Michelle had to do the fourth photo shoot with a doll instead of a real and very energetic child, making the other girls extremely envious. Michelle fell to the bottom two after the “7 Deadly Sins” photo shoot, and the following week was eliminated when her dull pictures from South Africa failed to excite the judges.
  POST-TOP MODEL After her stint on America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4, Michelle signed a modeling contract with both the Janice Dickinson’s Modeling Agency and M Models International. She also worked with Elate Wear and strutted her stuff on the runway for fashion shows like San Francisco Fashion Week Presents “Emerging Stars”, Antique Denim Spring/Summer 2006, Megan Fashion Show Spring/Summer 2006, and Elate “Celebrity” Fashion Show 2006. She also appeared on WWE Friday Night Smackdown, where she fought with Melina and was rescued by the Mexicools. The WWE has also offered her a development deal. She has modeled for Elate wear, Louche Clothing, Celebrity Baby Blog, Mommygoround.com, and has appeared in Life & Style Magazine. She has also appeared in movies such as also appears in the movie The Gospel According to Booze, Bullets, & Hot Pink Jesus. She also appeared in a Cycle 8 photo shoot where the contestants reenacted famous moments from past cycles of ANTM. In an interview with TMZ, Michelle said she has also worked at a daycare after the show. Currently, she is signed with Wilhelmina in New York.
  In September of 2007, Michelle and then beau, Jon Dalton, of Survivor: Pearl Island fame, announced that they were expecting their first child. In October, Michelle also mentioned that she had signed on with Expecting Models – a pregnant modeling agency. On January 16, 2008, a little over a week ahead of schedule, Jon and Michelle welcomed Piper, their baby girl. The couple got married later in June. Reports show that the couple is no longer together, as Michelle felt she was married to a child. Michelle made news for getting involved in a “Smash N’ Dash” with Dalton’s not dead grandmother. The couple appeared together on The Celebrity Newlywed Game as well as *The Dr. Phil Show”.
  Name: Christina Murphy Placed: 5th Age: 37 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 43 (@christinantm) Instagram Followers: 260 (@christina_fashion) Christina Murphy IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 As a finalist on America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4, her lack of personality were always being scrutinized by the judging panel. However, on the eighth week, she was able to win the interview challenge with hip-hop artist, Eve. She was the most prepared of all the girls. In addition to winning an exclusive interview on Entertainment Tonight, Christina’s mother was allowed to visit to the Top Model house. Unfortunately, Christina was eliminated two weeks later, when the judges felt her performance was still lacking in emotion.
  POST-TOP MODEL Since the show, Christina has participated in runway projects for Kelly Nashimoto Fall 2006 and San Francisco Fashion Week Presents “Emerging Stars.” She has also done print work for Kippie’s Footwear and Candice Held Clothing. Christina has worked with both LA Models and Passport Models. Not sure what she’s up to these days. Instagram is her most active social media platform, but it doesn’t show much into her life outside of her hobbies.
  Name: Brittany Brower Placed: 4th (Cycle 4)/14th (Cycle 17) Age: 35 First Call Outs: 2 (Cycle 4)/0 (Cycle 17) Bottom 2: 2 (Cycle 4)/1 (Cycle 17) Twitter Followers: 10.3k (@brittanybrower) Instagram Followers: 15.8k (@brittanybrower) Brittany Brower IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 As a finalist in Cycle 4, Brittany was the most vivacious. Her strong personality sometimes clashed with fellow Top Model finalist Tiffany Richardson, with whom she had a confrontation. Her performances in the earlier challenges were not so impressive, having landed in the bottom two after her second batch of photos shoot came out a little bit too sexual. She bounced back the following week by producing a beautiful Sagittarius picture. From there, she continued to perform much more strongly, even coming out with the best picture from the fifth photo shoot. The end came for Brittany after a fight with fellow Top Model finalist, Keenyah Hill, broke her high spirits. The judges quickly noticed the change in her behavior, and they eventually eliminated Brittany from the show.
  ANTM CYCLE 17 In 2011, Brittany was invited back to participate in the All Star Cycle of the show. Despite being around 6-7 years since she last appeared on Top Model, it looked like she hadn’t changed much in terms of her attitude and personality. She was still the same fun loving, wild, party girl that people knew from Cycle 4. She was the first model eliminated from the competition because when polled, the fans said that she was not memorable compared to the other contestants (I’m still calling bull on that because there’s no way in hell Brittany was ever forgettable).
  POST-TOP MODEL Brittany has gone on to make a mark not just in the fashion industry, but in the entertainment industry as well. She appeared on some episodes of The Bravo Network’s Battle of the Network Reality Stars and was given a guest role on the television series, Love Inc. She’s done print work for Suspect (Fall 2006), Supermodels Unlimited, Next Level Apparel, and Svedka Vodka. She returned on the runway for San Francisco Fashion Week, Meghan Spring 2006, Frederick’s of Hollywood Spring 2006, ElleGirl Presents Dare To Be You: Wal-Mart Meets America’s Next Top Models 2005 and Jlo. She was also hailed as one of Maxim Magazine’s Hottest Women of Reality TV.
  During the All Star cycle, Brittany revealed that after the show, she started a medical spa type thing in CA, called DMH Aesthetics. After the show, she started her own agency. She has also switched to two other modeling agencies, Next Model Management and Reel Management. She is currently signed to TNG Models. She got married in June 2016.
  Name: Keenyah Hill Placed: 3rd Age: 32 First Call Outs: 2 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: 2,057 (@KeenyahHill) Instagram Followers: 14.9k (@keenyah.hill) Keenyah Hill IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 As a finalist on Cycle 4, Keenyah was likened to supermodel Iman when the judges looked at her photos for the floral service 1-800 Flowers. She sometimes got into little arguments with some of the other girls on the show, but the most memorable confrontation that involved Keenyah took place on the girls’ ride back to their hotel after visiting Nelson Mandela’s prison cell. Keenyah’s fellow Top Model finalist Brittany Brower got so tired of hearing Keenyah’s hypocrisy regarding the South African president that she started reprimanding Keenyah verbally. One of their South African shoots required the girls to embody different kinds of animals. Keenyah was assigned to do the elephant, and it seemed rather appropriate, as her sudden gain weight was the subject of the judges’ criticisms. Keenyah made it all the way to the top three, but was eliminated shortly thereafter because the judges felt she was becoming too arrogant.
  POST-TOP MODEL Since the show, Keenyah has appeared in Us Weeky, Vibe Magazine, Complex Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Ebony Magazine, Radar Magazine, XI Magazine, Linger Magazine, Hype Hair Magazine, Bleu Magazine, and Boi Society Magazine.She has also modeled for Disney Bridal, Sheila Rashid, Beats by Dr. Dre, Nat + J, and Nvr Dye. Her runway projects include Alice and Olivia Fall 2006 and “Elle Girl Presents Dare To Be You: Wal-Mart Meets America’s Next Top Models. Like other ANTM alum, she has also branched out into acting. She has appeared on television series such as The Bold And The Beautiful, Half & Half, Truth Unspoken, and New Girl. Keenyah has been signed to I Model and Talent in New York. She is currently represented by Click Models Atl and SAG-AFTRA.
  Name: Kahlen Rondot Placed: 2nd Age: 33 (Will turn 34 on Dec 19th) First Call Outs: 3 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 1,029 (@KahlenRondot) Instagram Followers: 5,170 (@kahlenrondot) Kahlen Rondot IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 At the beginning of the competition, Kahlen’s lack of confidence sometimes got the best of her; however, she consistently produced excellent photographs; at the final judging panel, the judges noted that Kahlen had provided one of the best portfolios in all the previous cycles. The judges were most impressed with Kahlen’s portrayal of the Springbok, South Africa’s national animal, and when she portrayed Wrath during a shoot based on the 7 Deadly Sins. Kahlen made it to the final two, but the judges felt that Naima stole the runway show. Tyra compared Kahlen to a girl who “did good all semester and kinda failed her final exams,” and Naima to a girl who “did fair during the whole semester and ‘killed’ the final exams.”
  POST-TOP MODEL Since the show Kahlen has appeared on numerous talk shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Tyra Banks Show. During an interview on the Tyra Banks show, she revealed that her friends sexually assaulted her when she was intoxicated at a party.
  She has done print work for Vice Magazine, US Weekly’s Summer Hottest Trends with Naima Mora and Keenyah Hill, ElleGirl presents Dare To Be You: Wal-Mart Meets America’s Next Top Models 2005 and its second installment where she walked for Alice and Olivia’s Fall 2006 to raise funds against breast cancer, spreads in Elle Girl for Ford Fusion and Samsung, Jay Manuel’s Manual Override Cosmetic line, Radar magazine’s America’s Ex Top Models and a campaign for Tulipa Collection by Vanessa Barantes with fellow alum Rebecca Epley. Although she was not the winner of her cycle, her promotional picture is used as the shadowed “top model” on the Germany’s Next Top Model’s logo. In July 2007, salacious images – allegedly of Kahlen – appeared on the Internet, but their provenance remains unknown.
  Despite being considered a stand-out in her cycle, Kahlen struggled to get signed by a modeling agency, which many say is because of her resemblance to Carmen Kass. As of late, Kahlen is no longer modeling. She currently works as a bartender in New York City, and plans to someday open her own bar.
  Name: Naima Catlett, nee Mora Placed: 1st Age: 33 First Call Outs: 2 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 13.8k (@NaimaMora) Instagram Followers: 49.3k (@naimamora) Naima Mora IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 4 With her mohawk and introverted personality, Naima was originally thought to be a long-shot to walk away with the title of America’s Next Top Model. Though her earlier photographs were not as strong as runner-up Kahlen Rondot, the judges were blown away by Naima’s final performance on the catwalk. Tyra, in particular, felt that Kahlen was “the girl who did excellent during the semester and kind of failed the final exam,” while Naima was “the girl who did fair during the semester but killed her final exam.” Her win consisted of a fashion spread in Elle, a contract with Ford Models and a $100,000 contract with CoverGirl cosmetics. She holds the record of being the first and only Top Model contestant to be voted Covergirl of the Week from the start to the finish of the cycle. It was also revealed in a Top Model challenge, that Naima is a vegetarian.
  POST-TOP MODEL She has been seen on television as a guest on The Tyra Banks Show, on the second season premiere of Veronica Mars, and in a CoverGirl commercial with Yoanna House. Naima and Cycle 3’s Ann Markley were Trophy Girls at the 2005 Primetime Emmy Awards. Mora also served as a judge at the Miss Teen USA Pageant in 2005. Naima was a guest host at the Ramapo College Enerve Couture Fashion Show in Spring 2006.
  Naima has done print modelling for CoverGirl, ELLE Magazine, Fuego Magazine, US Weekly Magazine, Radaar Magazine, IN Touch Magazine, Star Magazine, Teen People Magazine, Split Clothing, amd Jazz Album Samsung. Naima’s runway shows include Christopher Deane Spring 2006 Collection, Gharani Strok Fall 2005, Carlos Miele Fashion Show, Walmart and ELLEgirl Presents Dare To Be You Spring 2006, Fashion Comedy Style 2005 (Charity Event), and New York Fashion Week 2007. She has modelled with her sisters twice: with her sister, Ife, for iTunes and with her twin, Nia, for Cycle 2’s Camille McDonald’s lingerie line, Lingerwear. In 2007, she was on the cover of U&U magazine and Uzuri magazine and was photographed by Romer Pedrome and Derek Blanks. In 2008, she had a cover and editorial in Vicious magazine. Signed with 301 Model Management in Miami and Basic Model Management in New York City. She got a showcard for Fashion Week SS09 and walked in the Project Runway Finale for designer Joe Farris.
  In 2006, she wrapped up filming on an independent film called Sarbanes-Oxley and made an appearance in a music video for TV on the Radio’s “Wolf Like Me.” Naima was the former vocalist for the unsigned band Chewing Pics. She is now a member of musical duo Galaxy on Tar. In May of 2010, they released two new singles via their label Lapdance Academy. The group is currently performing live throughout New York and touring the United States. In 2016, Naima hosted the show Twiin.
  She has been signed with 301 Model Management and Basic Model Management NY. Naima practices Nichiren Buddhism and is an active member of the Soka Gakkai International.